CountJonnie Reviews

The Boogeyman (I) (2023)

Decent scares with repetitive stupidity

[4/10 · 2 November 2023]

The only good part about the Boogeyman is that it has some decent scares. The sound effects and build up to some jump scares is well done and very effective. Which isn't difficult, since the monster lives in the dark.

However, the rest of the movie is just an insult. From the get go, it is as clear as day (night) what/when/where the monster is. And even after various encounters, still each and every character in this movie has the weird habit to go into attics, basements and other rooms, that apparently have no working lights. Even the little daughter continuous to watch movies/games, all alone, at night, with zero lights or lamps.

At a certain point you start wondering how stupid the filmmaker thinks the audience is. And when you reach that point, probably at 1/3rd of the movie, that's where it all falls down. Pity, since it started well.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023)

Just......goofy

[5/10 · 2 August 2023]

Everything about this movie is just.....goofy.

Star Lord: goofy.

Drax: Goofier.

Mantis: Goofier.

Adam Warlock: Should've been majestic but alas.....goofy.

Only High Evolutionary had some essence. But both that and the emotional content surrounding Rocket Racoon got lost in this big messy movie which just as recent Thor and GotG movies tried to be constantly funny, to the point where it becomes repetitive, messy, boring, annoying.

And now I am only writing because I need to use 600 characters. So I'll repeat: this is one messy movie, and it buried the only merit it might have and should have had.

Evil Dead Rise (2023)

Evil Dead Falls Flat

[4/10 · 28 June 2023]

Lets start with the good part. The movie starts great, with effective scares and build-up. Even more praise to the cast and characterization. There's even some sexual identity integrated in there, without it "being forced into your face".

But when the 1st half ends, and you're dragged into the 2nd half which goes full on Evil Dead, the movie falls flat. The characters are no more interesting don't get developed any further. The monsters who were effective with a pinch of psychological warfare are now just monsters. Scares and kills become generic.

But worst of all, everything is repetitive, with a huge load of watching, standing still, staring at danger, ignoring danger behind you, etc. These are all forgivable flaws and most horror movies do that to some extent, but after a great first half, you can't call this anything else but a disappointment, which felt as if the director simply stopped caring. And so did a huge part of the audience.

Luther: The Fallen Sun (2023)

Good tension, horrible writing

[5/10 · 17 March 2023]

Luther is an amazing character, but in this movie the only saving grace are the acting skills from the lead actors. Because other than that, the movie is buried under a horrible script.

Imagine a horror movie where you know way in advance that the girl who is running away from the bad guy, will trip sooner or later. Now THAT is the level of this Luther movie. The stupidity of every cop in this movie in order to drag everything out. Even the amazing Andy Serkis as the bad guy, can't help but suffer under the superficial writing of his character.

The title is indeed not misleading, if you concider Luther to be fallen.

The Patient (2022)

Incredibly strong acting

[7/10 · 7 December 2022]

The patient is about a killer who wants to get rid of his urges, by kidnapping a therapist and locking him in his basement, for private therapy. Which results in a unique relationship.

Not only is Gleeson incredibly convincing as a troubled serial killer, but his chemistry with Carrell as his therapist is palpable. The story itself is not particularly impressive, new or surprising, but the character building and the continuous tension keeps you on the edge of your seat.

Some people may complain about the ending, but I respectfully disagree. The fact that the ending is not cliche, and very un-Hollywood is enough for me to enjoy it more than the current average series.

Inside Man (II) (2022)

Decent actors, but horrible writing

[5/10 · 9 November 2022]

Can't blame the terrific actors, but the writing in this drama/thriller is too atrocious for words. The characters and their motivations are idiotic. Some plot twists will keep you watching, but the continuous string of idiocy, coincidences and moronic actions by the characters, narrated by an interesting Stanley Tucci whose almost non stop philosophical nonsense becomes annoying, will make you wonder what the heck you're watching.

The only good thing, besides the actors, is that you'll actually be curious for how bad it's gonna end, the same way you need to see a car wreck, to make the traffic jam worthwile.

Devil in Ohio (2022)

Bad Bones spin-off

[4/10 · 16 September 2022]

Emily Deschanel is a psychiatrist who gets obsessed with saving a girl from a cult, at the cost of saving herself and her family. As exciting as this could be, it suffers from various issues:

a) Deschanel looks and acts too much like her Bones character, which is a bad thing.

B) All the teen girls, including Mae, suffer under a horrible script, that displays them in a manner that'd only be suitable for an annoying teen movie.

C) The cult leader is in no way a good actor, nor is he convincing or terrifying.

D) Back to Deschanel: The stupidity of her character, and the easy with which she abandons her family time and time again in favor of Mae, is nothing short of cringeworthy. So is the ending.

Done.

Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

Few strong moments, buried under a funny mess

[5/10 · 11 September 2022]

After Guardians of the Galaxy, Marvel went into a comedic direction with GOTG2 and Thor 3. Now Thor 4 takes it a step further and pushes it over the edge with non-stop misplaced jokes.

Thor 4's only redeeming qualities are a very impressive Christian Bale and Nathalie Portman, who put some soul and motivation in this movie. Thor has become a funny sidekick and some of the cameo's, for example Korgg and Zeus, are downgraded to clowns who add little to the story.

The same joke can only be funny for a few times and Marvel/Waikiki/Thor obviously didn't get that memo, and so they ruined a movie that had the potential to be dark and compelling. Who knew gods could be so unintreresting and annoying.......

The Room (2003)

So bad, that it impacted cinema forever

[2/10 · 19 August 2022]

The movie is so bad, so unhinged, that it's not possible to write a coherent review. The most important thing here is to realize that there's a time before, and a time after The Room. Everyone who never heard of the Room and watched it, probably simply hated it. Everybody who heared of the Room first and watched it afterwards, might be terribly entertained.

The Room is simply about Tommy Wiseau, being his weird excentric self. Wiseau being a living, breathing and walking oddity and trainwreck, gives you a tour through his mindset, his way of thinking and his complete lack of self-awareness.

In his incompetence, he put a stamp on cinema forever and has entertained millions of people and will continue to do so. But this has nothing to do with how good or funny his work his, but only by giving birth to the phrase: It's so bad it's good. But it's even too weird for that phrase.

Just......watch it and see for yourself. And be happy that you're part of the "after" group.

Moon Knight (2022)

Different enough, yet a little messy

[7/10 · 16 August 2022]

Moon Knight is a lesser known hero, which is all the more interesting after the more known heroes. The good part is that Moon Knight as a hero and as a series, has a completely different tone than other more colorful characters, being a blend of dark, with a touch of thriller and a bit of mysticism.

Another good part is Oscar Isaac, together with Ethan Hawke. Both steal the screen and have great chemistry. Their acting alone makes the show worthwile, while not discrediting the other lead and supporting cast who did a great job as well.

But I disagree with the 8-9-10's for the following reasons: * For a movie about mysticism, it's annoying how goofy they made Khonsu. Instead of a mysterious deity, he felt more like a goofy or witty side character. Same with the british tone of Steven. This was criticized by various reviewers and I can only agree there. This has nothing to do with Oscar Isaac's acting, but the character choice and writing were flawed here.

* The pacing was inconsistent. At times the series felt rushed, while at other times it dragged on. This was mainly the case when working the character development between Mark/Steven and Layla. That's okay in romantic chick flicks, but please. Not here, not that much. Same with the fights. That's not a pacing thing but more an editing and cinematography item. Moon Knight is less about powers and more about gritty fighting, but in this show that never translated to the screen well. This is surprizing considering how beautiful other scenes were shot.

Still worth a watch, and a nice addition to the MCU.

Day Shift (2022)

Oh look. Another vampire who can do stunts.

[5/10 · 13 August 2022]

JJ Perry, a huge stuntman and coördinator, has a decent debut as a director. The movie has its A moments, in Jamie Fox. Unfortunately that can't compensate everything else that is B or even below.

* The action is decent but repetitive, to the point where it gets annoying that every vampire is an MMA / XMA martial artist and contortionist.

* The casting, except for Fox, is horrible. Obviously they went for friends instead of professional actors. Even if you ignore the fact that the script/story is forgettable and rushed.

* Biggest flaw: The lead vampires are uninteresting. Vampires should at least be charming, evil and/or sexual/sensual. In this movie, they are none of the above.

Movies like Constantine and Blade are not without flaws, but at least they balanced action and story better, and paid more respect to the vampires/creatures. Note to the director: rewatch those movies, before making a fangless sequel.

The Umbrella Academy (2019–2024)

Season 3 ruined what otherwise was an 8.

[6/10 · 8 August 2022]

Season 1 and 2 were great stories with interesting characters. All struggling with being a family while resorting to time travelling, only to discover that they are causing the apocalypse, which they were trying to prevent.

Unfortunately, 3 is not only repetitive, but also poorly written. All characters become bland. Luther is dumbed down to a point where it becomes insulting. Even if you're completely neutral/tolerant to sexual identities and transgenderism, the way Ellen Page's transformation to Elliot is crammed in the story, is forced, adds nothing to the story and feels like it's intended to give the audience a guilt trip. And what Klaus, Diego and Allison go through, can hardly be described as 'character development'.

I suspect the writers of finding cheap ways to create character depth, but in their laziness, season 3 can only be called superficial and unhinged.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021)

Succeeds in fun, fails everywhere else

[4/10 · 19 June 2022]

Venom is the dark side of Spider-man, and Carnage is the darker side of Venom. Instead of exploring that, this movie downgraded Venom to a caricature, with constantly cracking jokes, and never even tries to make Brock/Venom serious/interesting/scary/engaging etc. Same with Cassidy/Carnage.

Spider-Man: Miles Morales (2020 Video Game)

Beautiful but not engaging

[7/10 · 2 June 2022]

Miles is a great character and deserves his own game. His acting (voice) and graphics deserve praise, so does the overal graphics, animation and action. However, the main story, the other characters and mostly the villains, are nowhere as amazing as the previous game.

For Miles alone it's worth a play, but besides being eye candy, this game feels like a way too long side mission, instead of standing on its own.

I See You (II) (2019)

Decent thriller and twist

[7/10 · 23 April 2022]

Decent thriller that's very unformulaic. The tension never lets go. And best part is that the twist starts halfway the movie and just keeps going on till the end.

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)

Epic decisions, epic moments, epic scenes, but not an epic movie

[7/10 · 13 April 2022]

It's difficult to not spoil this movie, but suffice to say that this movie takes a few very brave and bold decision that transcends a whole cinematic universe, to make the current Marvel universe more complete and it paves the way for closure for previous incarnations, and at the same time open new doors for current iterations.

Asides from this point of praise, the movie unfortunately and basically is not much more than being about a teenager who refuses to listen, causes disaster, experience losses, gets scolded by older people who have to fix this mess and finally the teenager makes the right choice and fixes stuff himself. Of course aided by side characters who are too funny to be taken seriously, something Marvel is doing more and more since Guardians of the Galaxy and Deadpool.

The movie is brave and entertaining, groundbreaking for it's choices. But Homecoming was groundbreaking because the movie itself was amazing, which No Way Home fails to do.

The Batman (2022)

Not bigger, but much better

[9/10 · 13 April 2022]

Where the first Burton and Schumacher Batman movies were borderline fantasy / cartoonesque, Nolan's Batman was more grounded in action, with larger than life villains.

This new version however is a much more gritty thriller/detective, focussing much more on a developing Batman, even when it's Bruce Wayne who takes the stage. And even though Robert Pattinson may not be the best Bruce Wayne ever, he is the best Batman ever, mimicking Tom Hardy's skill to steal the show only with a part of his face, and being parallel to Paul Dano's Riddler who like Batman is just as much a hero, as he is still a damaged kid.

Can't wait to see more of this Batman.

Nightmare Alley (2021)

Not this time Guillermo

[6/10 · 28 March 2022]

Guillermo is a master when it comes to fairytales for adults. Calling his work horror, doesn't do it justice. Del Toro is a master of finding depth in his stories and characters.

But not this time. Nightmare Alley is as beautiful (which it is), as it is superficial. All the main cast have a masterful screen presence, but not a single one has the background or depth to make their presence work. Especially Cate Blanchet.

Better next time Guillermo, you can do it.

Blood Red Sky (2021)

Blood Red Overacting

[3/10 · 20 March 2022]

Besides from the interesting beginning and flashbacks that offer a glimpse of what could've been an interesting take on the classic vampire tale, the horrendous overacting drags this one straight into the sunlight. The amount of pointless screaming, yelling and grunting overshadows anything that was once charming about vampires, and there are no words to describe how the people are all in a constent state of being scared, weak, wounded, falling etc. Without there being an atmosphere that justifies that state.

The only thing that amazes me more than how horrible this movie is, is the fact that it scores a 6.

Eternals (2021)

Boooooring!!!

[5/10 · 18 January 2022]

The first Marvel movie to be actually boring. As great as Marvel succeeded with ensemble movies such as Avengers or Guardians ot Galaxy, as bad did they fail here.

Strangely enough the CGI effects were unimpressive, but the biggest flaw is the complete lack of interesting character, the lack of a compelling villain and thus the lack of tension or climatic battle. Even the Celestial was underwhelming.

The best they can do is no more sequel, and just integrate the characters in future ensemble movies, because with the current direction, they don't deserve their own.

The Guilty (2021)

Interesting, well acted, but too flawed

[6/10 · 25 November 2021]

Great atmosphere in a claustrophobic setting, well carried by a superb Jake Gyllenhaal as a cop who works in a 911 call center, and a supporting (voice acting) cast.

Where the movie isn't subtle in its references to a world of failing health care, and BLM riots, the main focus is on Gyllenhaal and the caller in need. As impressive as they are, in creating chemistry and a sense of realism, by voice and facial expression only, the situation the caller finds and handles herself in, becomes borderline absurd. Not a plot hole, but unrealistic? Yes.

All in all the actors did a great job, but it can't take away the sensation of this movie being like a telephone call that should've been cut off earlier instead of letting it drag on.

Red Notice (2021)

Some funny jokes, and nothing else.

[5/10 · 22 November 2021]

As much chemistry as there is between The Rock and Kevin Hart, there is none of such between The Rock and Ryan Reynolds. The occasional funny but predictable jokes, can't compensate the fact that Gal Gadot is as boring as she is beautiful, just as this movie.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)

Character driven Marvel movie

[8/10 · 13 November 2021]

Marvel delivers. After various movies that could've made even hardcore fans feel over saturated, Shang Chi sets itself apart by blurring the line between hero and villain. Not focussing on good vs evil or origin stories, it focusses mainly on the development of various lead characters who never become less than 3-dimensional, and so this movie achieves what Black Panther unsuccessfully tried to be.

The only critical issue is that this movie has Awkwafina, so you know you'll have to suffer through some pointless yelling which seems to be intented as funny, but never really is.

Clickbait (2021)

Clickbait never wins

[6/10 · 12 November 2021]

Clickbait makes you wanne hit the link, mostly leading to disappointment. Same here. The series is short, fast and interesting, since the murder gets resolved bit by bit. But instead of being the social media criticism it claims to be, it becomes a B-level whodunnit, with a very unoriginal twist/reveal in the end.

Free Guy (2021)

Truman Show during different times

[7/10 · 12 November 2021]

Ryan Reynolds is perfect as a video game character who becomes self aware in a digital version of criticism to social media, not much unlike Jim Carrey's Truman Show. But where Truman is social satire, Free Guy is much more of a love letter, which will be explained in the perfect ending of this movie.