OHGOD_NOT_THE_BEES Reviews

Constellation (2024)

Finally!

[10/10 · 16 March 2024]

"Anyone who is not shocked by Quantum Theory doesn't understand it" -Niels Bohr

I was wondering for a few years now, why neither SciFi authors nor movie studios had picked up on the rather scary nature of Quantum Physics (or string theory for what it's worse), with the result, that movies, TV-shows and even fictional novels on the matter are rather are.

With some sympathy one could say, that "tenet" is somewhat rooted in Quantum Physics. Same goes for "Mr. Nobody" and than with "Devs" there is an excellent TV-show tickling the topic. And that's more or less it

On the book side it's either string theory or the focus is on the many-worlds interpretation like "the Einstein Project" by José Carlos Somoza, which is a rather "Dan Brown-esk" (aka super stereotyopical, borderline sexist characters and predictable outcome) horror-scifi Book with string theory at its core, Ted Chiangs "Stories of your Life and others", Matt Haigs "The Midnight Library" and than there is the the brilliant "3 Body Problem", which, if you think about it, mor4e or less ends all of sci-fi and blew me away, but - as a starting point - picks up on more current ideas in the world of theoretical physics. And that's more or less it as far as i know (i'm sure there are a few more, though)

Most of new sci-fi shows and books all go in a similar direction and only differ in the "spices" (like The Expanse or the Takeshi Kovac series).

Constellation is different!

For all the people, who rate it badly and claim it's boring, wastes too much time on side stories and should in general show more "space stuff", i have this rather plain advice: maybe accept the fact, that not every story has to be to your liking and if you want more action and less ...uhm..character drama, stick with the current Hollywoodblockbuster mainstream and Star Trek.

That said: The space sequences ARE really, really well done and absolutily captivating.

Personally, i enjoy this enigmatic slow burn with an actual physics theory at the core and the question of what it could mean for our perception of reality.

The scare in Constellation (as far as i can tell currently and if you really want to call it a scare, maybe more like a universal despair as an insignificant human facing a profoundly engimatic and vast universe) is as fundamental as it can get and if you are somebody, who has this insufferable itch about the nature of the fabric of reality, how we perceive it and the making of the universe in general, you will enjoy this show (i guess, if you are a theorectical physicist you might be a tad bored, but hey - maybe not^^).

Is it flawless? No, no ofc not - but what is?

But it is the first show i know taking a serious approach on the matter and for that i applaud the creators.

It's smart, well done entertainment.

The Gentlemen (2024)

Mostly harmless

[4/10 · 13 March 2024]

Bit divided on this one.

On one hand it has it's (rare) moments, on the other hand it kinda feels like a modern pop song, that lacks dynamics due to quantizing.

It just is all one one loudness level and none of the characters really pulls me in to root for them (except one, but he just has like 10 minutes)

So after there is that >ah, i guess Ritchie remembered, that everybody loved the Gypsies in "Snatch"< moment (turns out a lot of that charm was carried by the actors and in the show...well...it doesnt work out that well), there are a few good/funny/memorable scenes underlined by well picked music, a female lead, who talks like a goddess ( I mean it! She is glorious), a male lead, who is rather stereotypical and forgetable (which is a shame, because Ritchie could have played with our expectations regarding the good looking over achiever, but nope..he is just that), an over the top, yet clichee, but somewhat funny weed grower, and besid that the biggest emotional moment (for me) in "You killed Jethro! You bastards!", there is really not a lot that stayed with me.

After the chicken dance, which admittedly got SO much more intense and bizarre than i expected, the show falls in in kind of a trott without any real highs or lows.

It dabbles a bit to the funny, then it dabbles a we bit in the skuril, then it dabbles a bit to the dark, then it dips its toes a bit in to gore, but without really commiting to any.

It has a lot of nice, cinematic camera work and A LOT of slowmo shots, but starting mid season the soundtrack as a tool to underline all these nice shots and contextual dynamics completely loses its purpose and, in fact, becomes a driver for the feeling of indifference i developed for the plot and the characters.

Over all i miss the commitment to edgy dialoges, bizarre, quirky characters and dark punchlines in combination with well picked music, that I connect to the name Guy Ritchie. And when the show TRIES to achieve it, the results are a wee bit clumsy (like that machete swinging car trader).

It still can be fun to watch i guess, because it IS well made (from a technical perspective) but personally I found it rather bland and - for Ritchies standard - too tame and mainstream. Felt a bit like an 8 hour, very well made commercial. Well crafted, easy on the eye, but no bite.

Anyway, those were my two centes.

Ta-daa o/

Pig (I) (2021)

The "Anything can happen - even good stuff Cage" is back.

[8/10 · 5 June 2022]

Really enjoyable movie :) I liked how they played with the expectations people would have about a Cage movie.

Also it shows, that you actually dont need a grand story to make a good movie. Heck, i'd go as far as to say, that most directors would probably make better movies, if they tried this approach.

I actually think this is the..hum..."best" movie i saw good ol' Nic in since Adaption! Ofc that is just my personal taste and opinion.

If you like movies where explosions and product placement are more important then the so called story - stay away.

If you like calm movies, that just try to tell a story on a very human level about basic feelings and things that can happen in someones life - this one might be for you.

It is not the most subtle movie, when it comes to pointing something out, but it's still a good one.

Invasion (2021–2024)

Why this is so controversial...

[9/10 · 5 November 2021]

Well, it's rather easy to explain and in the end comes down to expectations.

If you think "Indepence Day" and "Transformers" are good movie entertainment - stay away from tjhis show!

You will be utterly disapointed and probably leave an angry review on IMDb.

If , on the other hand, you liked the two "Monsters" and "Monsters: Dark Continent" movies - go ahead! You will enjoy this show.

Quick pros:

• technically well done and easy on the eye. Very cinematic camera + filters
• mostly spot-on cast and very decent delivery by the actors.

• very slow pace in an attempt to leave the viewer in the same state of

confusion and lack of information as the protagonists (doesnt work entirely ofc, but is still enjoyable)

• they dont take real sides when it comes to the characters and beasically try to say that everybody can be both - "good&bad" or rational&irrational- at the same time.

Quick con:

• somewhat stereotypic when it comes to the characters, but i mean that is something it shares with 95% of all shows, books and movies.

Over all i enjoy this show and begrudgingly have to admit, that what i' ve seen from Apple lately, is really well done and kind of refreshing in this "bigger, faster, more explosions and more cheesy jokes" trend of the last 10 years.

Toodles o/

Altered Carbon (2018–2020)

TV-Script writers should suffer light physical punishment for something like this!

[1/10 · 5 February 2018]

Take a perfectly fine book, which actually is one of the best scifi stories from the last 15 years, then take parts, that are crucial for the functioning of the whole base-universe, out, add other parts , that make absolutly no sense at all, screw up the basic motivation of the protagonist, add some fluffy-cheesy TV-auditorium stuff (lovestory+family) and then pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

I was so exited when i was informed they will make a show out of this and man did i get disapointed. I can't imagine that Richard Morgan had anything to say in this. Even though i am a fan, I will not watch the coming seasons, 'cause judging by the changes they made in the first, which are the base for some sigificant storyarchs, it will hurt to much to see one of my favourite scifi books getting slaughtered like that. Netflix producers should be ashamed of themself.

edit:

Allright, so i DID start season 2 and what should i say? They managed to do even worse then my worst expectations. In short: This happens, when you take out more or less ALL the background (context) by skipping a whole book. They might have been able to save the season, if they had not thought "hey, lets take stuff we left out in season one, cram in everything we kinda liked in the second book and leave out EVERYTHING from the third book, that was important to build up a feeling for the characters and the world. Also the decision to create this idiotic lovestory between Kovac and Faulkner bites them in the ass SO hard in this season. Oh and not to forget: let's leave everything out, that might be political in any way- While in the books Kovac is,more or less anarchist, who despises gouverment and religion above all, which is what made him an interesting protagonist, because everything else is pretty much just Morgans not very original interpretation of a "hard-boiled lone-wolf character", he is now exactly that. And thats what they left us with in BOTH seasons, but in the second is getting even worse. Overall you have a irritating clutter of uninteresting characters, with idiotic motivations (if they have any at all), no context and now the even set looks cheap.

and what they did with Trap and The Hendrix (Poe in the tv show) is on so many levels stupid, boring and none-sensical (in the books its even explained how AIs are not able to needlecast), that i can't even find the propper words. This lamment goes way further, then just being angry about the changes of a beloved book. What they did to the story simply shows, that the makers of this tv-show did not understand the essence of the book (aka what made it good despite the stereotype characters, that make all the other Morgan books kinda not read worthy). What i am angry about is, that this is now reality and probably nobody will ever again try to make these really, really entertaining books in a tv-show, that actually is worth watching. For THAT a big FU to the producers of this desaster, who simply wanted to jump on the "sci-fi is popular atm train, let's make some money" .