Dukesquay Reviews

Homes Under the Hammer (2003– )

Past its best

[5/10 · 23 January 2023]

Hard to believe this series has now been going for nearly 20 years. Sadly, it's showing its age. There really is only so much that can be achieved by seeing houses bought at auction and later returning to see what the buyers have done with them. The early years, with Lucy Alexander and Martin Roberts were great fun. Their enthusiasm was infectious and there was great chemistry between them (even though they were only shown together briefly during each episode.) Adding Dion Dublin, as a third presenter, diluted the mix and further changes, after Lucy departed, haven't helped revive the show. The programme also seems to have run out of new ideas and seems to be covering the same types of property renovation over and over again. Occasionally, they even pick up the same people buying and renovating properties from different auctions. Too much repetition has put me off watching.

A Simple Favor (2018)

Ludicrous

[1/10 · 18 February 2022]

Twins? Really? That plot device has been used too many times already. Anna Kendrick is just bland. Blake Lively is unconvincing. Completely ludicrous.

The Mash Report (2017–2020)

Sad

[1/10 · 31 August 2021]

A rather sad attempt at satire, not helped by the smug, self-satisfied attitude of the main presenter. Tries to be cutting edge but it's all a bit lame. Sham would be a better title.

The Pale Horse (2020)

Exasperating

[1/10 · 30 August 2021]

An intensely irritating and frustrating attempt to re-write a classic Agatha Christie story in a trendy, modish style. It falls flat. Changes to the plot ruin the development of the storyline. The characters are unconvincing. The direction veers from Austin Powers to Hammer horror. And when you start thinking more about the directors rather heavy-handed technique, rather than the story itself, you know something is wrong with the whole production. It has a good cast but they are generally wasted.

Dalziel and Pascoe: Foreign Bodies (2000) Season 5, Episode 3

Nice scenery, shame about the plot

[2/10 · 13 May 2021]

A two hour episode that seems to have been devised to showcase some very attractive parts of the Yorkshire coast and countryside. The meandering plot makes no sense at all and the behaviour of Dalziel is just not believable. Two stars for the scenery.

Rock the Block (2019– )

Adding value.

[10/10 · 1 April 2021]

I loved the idea behind season one.

Take four successful female designers, give each of them an identical house & identical budget, and ask them to redesign the interior & garden in order to maximise the resale value of their property. Next bring in experts to assess the changes made to individual rooms (bathroom, kitchen etc) and then give an overall value to the finished houses.

Some of the experts were rival designers from other home renovation shows and it was interesting to see them inspecting the work of others rather than having their own work scrutinized. However, being judged by their own peer group must have been tough on the four women taking part in the challenge.

It was hard to predict the outcome but, in the end, I thought the result was fair.

In addition to producing good designs, it was gratifying to see the two designers with the most engaging personalities come first and second. I was so glad the arrogant one was not in the top two.

I'm looking forward to season two.

Windy City Rehab (2019– )

Just the worst

[1/10 · 2 February 2021]

Just the worst of this type of show. I don't like Alison Victoria. And I don't like her designs. The Windy City deserves better.

Maze Runner: The Death Cure (2018)

Boring as hell

[1/10 · 23 January 2021]

This is a terrible end to the Maze Runner franchise. The plot is ludicrous, the action sequences are clichéd and the acting is poor. Worst of all, the movie is just plain boring. I couldn't wait for it to end.

Dark Shadows (2012)

Not engaging

[4/10 · 10 May 2020]

Big disappointment from Tim Burton. The movie lacks any real sense of fun or terror. Maybe it's the over-wordy script of the bland performances (Depp seems to be pretty bored) but it didn't engage me from the start and tedium set in quite quickly. Only four out of ten.

The Hit List (2019– )

Not entertaining

[2/10 · 10 August 2019]

Another variation on 'Name That Tune' where three pairs of players aim to identify the song first. Sadly, this variation does nothing to revitalise an old format and the fairly bland quiz hosts don't help. It all looks a bit tired and dull.

Partners in Rhyme (2017)

A new low for the BBC

[1/10 · 10 August 2019]

The BBC broadcasts some of the best shows on TV, unfortunately this is not one of them. The concept of celebrities making up rhymes based on animated pictures is more suitable for the playground than primetime Saturday evening tv. Len Goodman is a terrible host with an unconvincing brand of cheerfulness that quickly becomes irritating. The guests seem embarrassed by the whole thing. Watch this show - no, no, no.

Ghostbusters: Answer the Call (2016)

Tedious

[2/10 · 12 June 2019]

I'm not sure what's wrong with this movie apart from the predictable script, hackneyed plot, poor acting and disappointing special effects. The four leading actresses really don't work well as a team. Kate McKinnon's 'zany' character is unconvincing and downright irritating. Kristen Wiig seems to play the same character in almost every movie. Chris Hemsworth's character (a clunky attempt at role reversal) is just plain embarrassing. The special effects are really not that special - they don't appear to have moved on much from those in the original movie. Overall, The sheer fun and exuberance of the original has been lost. A great shame.

The Other Woman (2014)

Garbage

[1/10 · 6 May 2019]

Witless, unfunny and badly acted, I can't think of a worse move in 2014. The plot seems to pander to the lowest common denominator and the humor is childish and immature. Leslie Mann's character is intensely irritating and I hope Nicki Minaj and Kate Upton stick to their other jobs in future - neither was any good. The only funny part was Don Johnson still trying to act the tough guy - unintentionally hilarious. Overall though, this movie is an absolute stinker.

Cloverfield (2008)

Tripe

[1/10 · 28 February 2009]

The most irritating film I've seen in a long time. Completely unoriginal - those who have already compared it to a mixture of The Blair Witch Project and Godzilla are absolutely correct. Add a touch of Alien and that just about sums up the whole thing.

The whole film is unrealistic. I had no sympathy for the characters - most seemed to be selfish and unthinking. The events are unbelievable. The camera-work is appalling and I don't just mean because it's supposed to be shot on a hand-held camera - of course I understand that - but the camera doesn't just shake it judders, jolts, convulses - so much that the action is often obscured. I suspect this is a deliberate ploy to disguise the very poor special effects.

A very amateurish effort.

An Early Frost (1985 TV Movie)

Still absorbing 23 years after it was released

[10/10 · 11 November 2008]

It's hard to believe that 'An Early Frost' was made for TV in 1985. I watched it for the first time on 11 November 2008 - 23 years after it was released - and I found it surprisingly fresh and enduring. Although it's an important historic record of the early response to AIDS (and for that reason alone is worth watching) it's more an exploration of family love and courage. The script is well-written, production values are high and the acting is uniformly excellent. Sylvia Sidney won a Golden Globe for her part as the grandmother, but the other main actors including Aidan Quinn (as the young man suffering from AIDS), Ben Gazzara and Gena Rowlands (playing his parents) are all excellent. A very rewarding experience.

McCabe & Mrs. Miller (1971)

Overrated

[1/10 · 12 August 2008]

I saw this film recently and, after reading the comments here, I was very disappointed. Rather than being the masterpiece that some people claim, it looks rushed and unfinished. Altman seems to have been lazy in his direction. The sound and lighting are poor but no one seems to mind - it's adds to the atmosphere they claim - no it doesn't it just looks technically inept. I felt like I'd watched a very long student production - someone at film school trying to be different but failing miserably. The plot is confused - it's not complex just muddled without clear development. The acting is unconvincing. The soundtrack is uninspiring. Totally overrated.

Never the Twain (1981–1991)

Old hat

[1/10 · 21 March 2008]

Oh dear, 'Never the twain' has not aged well. I caught some re-runs on a late night channel recently and was embarrassed by the predictable story-lines and poor acting. The characters are stereotypes and most of the actors resort to spluttering and pulling faces in order to elicit laughs. The writing is generally uninspired and the jokes are juvenile and not particularly funny. A sample of the dialogue: Oliver Smallbridge: "I started at the bottom, you need brains there." Simon Peel: "Well, your brains are in your bottom." It provided work for several British B-list actors over a number of years but, apart from that, there's little to recommend it. One wonders how Donald Sinden ever became involved in the series.

White Men Can't Jump (1992)

Big disappointment

[4/10 · 10 March 2008]

What a disappointment. Ron Shelton has written and directed some great movies but this isn't one of them. The action sequences make basketball seem pretty exciting and the on-court dialogue is fast, snappy and funny. Unfortunately, off-court the main characters are generally irritating. I had very little sympathy or respect for the characters played by Woody Harrelson and Rosie Perez. Unltimately I couldn't care less what happened to them so my attention wandered towards the end of the movie. There is a sub-plot involving debt-collecting gangsters which is unconvincing. The performances from Wesley Snipes and Tyra Ferrell are excellent (I wish Tyra would do more.)

13 Going on 30 (2004)

Love it

[10/10 · 3 September 2006]

I love this film. It has a sweet, innocent quality that makes life seem so good. I just wish there were more films like it. It left me with the feeling that it's good to be alive. I'm a middle aged male and wouldn't normally watch what I thought would be a teenage romance movie but it has a wider appeal that somehow manages to transcend age and sex barriers. I was completely smitten. The film shares many common themes with 'Big' but Jennifer Garner doesn't have Tom Hanks irritating mannerisms. She manages to capture the joy and purity of childhood while existing in a very adult world. She funny and moving. There is a strong supporting cast. I've watched it several times and it still gives me a warm glow inside.