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Reviews
Unforgiven (1992)
30 Year Anniversary
Some movies over 20 years old show their age. Not Unforgiven. At 30 years old (1992 to 2022) there's not a moment that a new version could improve upon. The actors, Clint, Gene, Morgan and Richard Harris are still amazing. The cutting of the whores works even better after "Me Too". The Saul Rubinek character as the slimy writer getting a thrill from sniffing the bravado of violent men would be a Fox News Host if he were alive today. The nearsighted young killer has his fantasies of blood and glory ended when he endures the guilt and shame of his first murder. It plays as true now as when the movie first came out. Unforgiven is timeless. Happy 30th Anniversay.
Cry Macho (2021)
Disconnected From Reality
Clint Eastwood barely missed creating a great "so bad it's good" comedy. He tries playing an aging but still virile cowboy, but cannot pull it off. He's 90, and supposedly ended a rodeo career with a broken back. He's sent into Mexico to retrieve the worst Mexican child actor they could possibly find and bring him back to his backstabbing ex-employer, supposedly the boy's father. He goes to Mexico City to get the boy, but other than a brief shot of city lights of a city of maybe 200,000 (not 10,000,000, like the real Federal District), it portrays Mexico like a rural backwater. All the Mexicans are like a Frito Bandito ad came to life. They are the worst racism you can imagine. The bad guys are afraid of Clint, who is so frail he can barely walk. Every Mexican, young or old, is incompetent or stupid beyond belief. They almost all speak English. The leading lady is 50 years younger than Clint and smoking hot. She tries seducing him twice, and he acts like it would be doing her a favor that he's not going to give. Big white Clint shows those Mexicans who's boss. It's like a farce, except old Clint isn't in on his own joke.
Not one scene was believable. Some of the cinematography is OK. None of the dialog rang true. No characters connected with one another, especially Clint and the terrible young actor Big White Clint rescues. Moral of the story? I guess it's that all Mexicans are stupid, afraid of dried up old white guys except when hot chicks are horny for a caucasian savior. I cannot believe this is the same guy who helmed The Unforgiven, Flags of our Fathers, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil and Gran Torino. Everybody makes mistakes. Skip this one, and remember Clint Eastwood for his otherwise excellent filmography. I hope this doesn't mean Clint is getting old.
The Predator (2018)
Unfocused Fun
Lighten up. I agree with much of the criticism, but it's still a watchable movie that could have been much better. On the negative side, The Predator cannot make up its mind if it wants to be a space action thriller (like the original Predator), an adventure comedy with misfits (like Con Air), or a sci-fi social commentary (like Venom or Prometheus). Yes, there were fundamental errors. Like why is the hot single action science chick paired up with the happily married father? The chemistry between them is flushed, unused. She's extremely likeable, but undeveloped. Her character goes nowhere. The producers couldn't decide if the main character, a military sniper, is doing real violence or "pretend movie" violence. All the Dirty Dozen type military mental cases the hero hangs with are also involved with both real violence and comedy violence. The errors are in abundance. It was like they had a first draft of a great script and rushed to production, without fixing plot holes, character inconsistencies or even deciding on a consistent tone for the movie. Starship Troopers was a great movie because it embraced its own Cheesiness. The Predator could have been 3 great movies if they'd picked one direction and been consistent. Having said all this, it's still fun to watch. There are some great "so bad it's good" moments. Like when some clown puts together the entire relationship between the first Predator and the ones who follow based on ZERO information. Remember the 50's show Lassie? "Woof, woof". "What's that Lassie? Timmy fell down the well at the Schwarzenegger Farm and is suffering lacerations and a concussion? Good dog!" The main character, played by Boyd Holbrook, is a worthy successor to Arnold. He's badass but not cruel, funny, a good dad, chicks dig him and he delivers some great one-liners. He cruises through the confused story and comes out looking like someone we'd enjoy watching again. Ditto for the wasted Olivia Munn, who manages a role written for a bimbo to look and sound intellectually stimulating while being foulmouthed, sexually hot, and handles the physical parts of her role like a professional athlete. A lot of the dialog is really great, there are a ton of interesting characters, the lead actors are all superb and, hey, it's got Predators. They spent $88 million to make and bake this turkey, so visually and musically everything is professional. Is the rumor true that this script was found in a high school parking lot by a producer high on acid who rushed it into production before the LSD wore off? Just asking. Anyway, if you can turn off your critical thinking and go into "so bad it's good" mode, this movie is fun. I'll watch any sequel and hope there is an adult in charge who keeps the snappy dialog up to the same level but fixes the sinkholes in the continuity. I give the movie it could have been a 10, and this production a 2. Averages out to 6.
Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018)
Tired Reboot
When I say tired, I mean physically tired. Tom Cruise may not be over the hill, but in several of his action sequences his reaction time appeared noticeably slow. Ving Rhames looked geriatric, especially in the quick cuts of him getting in and out of vehicles. Simon Pegg seems like a much older man as well. Henry Cavills first speech when he meets Tom Cruise was delivered like a practice run with a new script. I can usually suspend disbelief and get into the World of Mission Impossible, but this time watching these aging, cigar store indian actors phoning in their performances were SO BAD it was hard to watch.
JJ Abrams has produced so much great entertainment, it's hard to imagine the fault is all his. The only acting standout was Vanessa Kirby, who lights things up as The White Widow.
I have learned that a high, early score on IMDB is often misleading. Do studio hack writers get paid to write glowing reviews with 10/10 ratings? It's hard to believe good ratings for Hollywood blockbuster movies any longer. When you've spent $178,000,000 making a film, what's $1,000,000 more to influence critics on metacritic and get a couple hundred glowing reviews for IMDB? As someone who has enjoyed the other movies in the series, I was disappointed.
Hotel Artemis (2018)
I must have seen a different movie
Hotel Artemis is not destined to be a classic, but I don't understand why it doesn't get more love. It's got great actors, a tight script with lots of interesting characters, good pacing and a pleasing soundtrack. It borrows from a lot of good movies; Blade Runner is the biggest influence. It was a pleasure to watch Jodie Foster growing old gracefully, Dave Bautista is great comic relief, and it was nice to see Zachary Quinto off the bridge of the Enterprise and Jeff Goldblum without dinosaurs. There are lots of breadcrumbs for people over 40 (California Dreamin', and "your ballroom days are over" from the Doors). Los Angeles was truly born after WWII when the city began importing water. (Another movie reference, Chinatown.) The backdrop of water riots in the future made sense. So much of this move made sense, you didn't have to suspend much belief. It's no classic, but Hotel Artemis is a hell of a lot of fun!
Silencer (2018)
UFC Fans and Danny Trejo Fans, Don't Watch This
Like many people, the only reason I watched this film is to see legendary MMA fighters Chuck Liddell and Tito Ortiz. (OK, I've never missed a Danny Trejo movie either.) You expect the action sequences to be awesome. About 20 minutes in the mumbling hero faces off with Chuck Liddell, who plays a cartoonish bad guy. This little Hollywood twerp intimidates Liddell, who pulls a knife too small to peel a potato. Chuck Liddell pulling a knife? From there, it gets even worse. The action scenes are terrible, choreographed without any serious attempt at realism. Danny Trejo plays a Latin Godfather. He's sappy emotional, weak and with bad judgment. Tito fares a little better, but not much. If you want to see Chuck Liddell on screen, watch his brief scenes in 2007's Bobby Z. Watch any other Danny Trejo film and see a real life badass show genuine menace. This doesn't qualify as a B Movie. Bring back the Death Penalty. The writers, director and producers should be taken out and shot. I give it three stars, one each for Danny, Chuck and Tito.