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Reviews
Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)
Excellent animatronics, poor storytelling
I am certain fans of the games will get a kick out of this, Which they seem to like so good for them I suppose. However, it is no excuse for the poor storytelling and characters.
The over reliance on dream sequences and dumb characters to move the plot is very tedious and the actual horror have taken a drastic backseat which is a shame cause I do like the first game atmosphere a lot. The actual villain is wasted and rushed at the last minutes of the movie which made the journey extra tedious to me(specially that it's very obvious who's the villain in a this called mystery movie).
I really wanted to like this movie, I really did but it really didn't do anything for me. Still, go watch it and make your own opinion on it.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
It sure lives by its title
This franchise have been butchered for the last 20 years so I can't say I had any hope for this but you know, sometime all you need is a gory slasher to kill time. It's the most mean spirit movie I've seen directed at Zoomers so that's a plus I guess.
Ballad in Blood (2016)
Could be worse.
Usually directors coming back after such a long break looses a lot of their touch but this isn't the absolute worst case about it. It's shot relatively well and there's surprisingly no usages of CGi gore(looking at you Dario) and the t & a is nice. However the story and dialog suffer the most even for genre film standard and it does have long stretches of boring "whodunnit" moments. I would only recommend this if you're so ever curious or have no better use of your time, otherwise, seek other sleaze gore fest. 4.5/10.
V/H/S Viral (2014)
Insultingly bad
I've avoided to watch this one ever since it came out but the release of VHS94 got me curious so I've finally gave it a shot with an open mind. It was worst than I anticipated. Not once I was entertained and none of the shorts were well made(they used cgi gore and cgi fire crackers) Hell one of the shorts doesn't even have the handheld camera approach this serie is known for. The only thing I can give this movie is the parallel dimensions short is an interesting concept but does that mean anything when it's so done poorly?
Gamera tai Shinkai kaijû Jigura (1971)
Not the absolute worst..?
Gamera vs Zigra is certainly not the worst of the Showa Gamera movies. It's not held together with duct tape and stock footage like Gamera vs Viras and the infamous Gamera Super Monster. The monster fights are silly and entertaining(the xylophone scene is a highlight of the serie). Zigra is a well executed monster and is one of the best looking monster in the showa serie.
Admittedly the plot here is possibly one the with constant and very hard to miss plot holes. What truly drag this movie down is the awful scenes with the kids and the stupid alien goon. A very insultingly bad goon.
Overall it's in my opinion the third worst Gamera movie but it's still a mile better than VS Viras and a million miles better than Super Monster. Perhaps that's not saying much all things considering.
Mil gritos tiene la noche (1982)
Completely bonkers
This movie is either a 1/10 or a 10/10, anything in between doesn't do it justice.
Piranha Part Two: The Spawning (1982)
Truly awful in all the right way
It take a special kind of awful to be funny bad. The flying piranhas are hilarious, the acting is cheesy and dumb(I wouldn't have it any other way) and the story is delightfully muddled and stupid. Go check it out if you want something to laugh at with friends.
The Head Hunter (2018)
The low budget is what I admired and hated.
Don't get me wrong, it's well shot and acted, the props looked great and I love the concept. However, the movie flaws become very apparent because of the low budget. They can't show him kill the monsters due to the low budget, only two actors due to the budget and only one fight scene in a very dark environment(probably to hide the puppeteer). I'm still impressed with what they accomplished with such a low budget but it was obviously its downfall. At least it's not very long so I'd say it's worth a watch just to see what they accomplished.
Gojira: hoshi wo kû mono (2018)
Disappointing trilogy
Out of the trilogy this is the worst one and the other 2 aren't even very good to begin with.