apisano-13319 Reviews

The Umbrella Academy (2019–2024)

INCREDIBLE!

[10/10 · 24 March 2019]

This show was AMAZING! It's such a rare treat to find a gem like this that has everything... great character development, intriguing story, complex villain/antagonist, AWESOME music, and suspenseful action sequences. My kids and I binge watched this all in one day because we couldn't stop watching. Seriously, we got mad when we had to stop for food and bathroom breaks! Lol

If you're on the fence about getting involved in yet another superhero series, trust that this one is definitely in a class of its own. One of the things that makes the writing so clever is that they don't rely on modern technology like cell phones. They have to put a LOT more thought into how the characters manage each difficulty because there are no iPhones to make things easier.

Too many superhero shows cop out by using tech to explain away plot holes or make things easier for the heroes and villains... in the end, it's more of a crutch so the writers don't have to concern themselves with the little things. The Umbrella Academy meets every challenge organically and realistically. It enables the viewers to really feel the difficulty of resolving problems in a world without reliance on technology and immerses us in a truly unique universe.

Patriot (2015–2018)

One of the BEST shows I have ever watched

[10/10 · 3 December 2018]

This is one of the most well-written, beautifully directed series I have ever seen. The camera shots they use for each scene communicates the emotion they want you to feel without seeming forced, and it's even better when you factor in the unique soundtrack. The brutally honest folk songs John sings provide not only humor, but a glimpse into the collapsing mental stability of the character as well.

It might go unnoticed, but if you pay close attention, the evolution of his folk singing plays into the breakdown we all know is coming. In season one, we often saw John singing his songs live and we experienced his extemporaneous flow in the moment. Throughout season two, we only hear his songs playing in the background because he's only singing them in his head. This is a perfect illustration of how much John is withdrawing and suppressing everything he's feeling. It's highly entertaining and incredibly sad at the same time. He has also stopped singing with his father, and the only time we even get a glimpse of him thinking about his dad's voice is when the ringtone plays. (Those who've finished season two know what I'm talking about here).

The final scene of the season is some of the best acting Dorman has done yet. We've been watching him repress so much despite all the stress and trauma... then to see everything flood in all at once in the last thirty seconds... just... wow. I'm so impressed by this show, I don't even know what else to say. If you weren't sure about the timing or the pacing, just please stick with it and finish watching all the episodes. It's a journey you won't regret!

Lore: Mary Webster: The Witch of Hadley (2018) Season 2, Episode 5

WTF happened to this show??

[1/10 · 19 October 2018]

This used to be an amazing format with interesting stories. Yeah, the production value wasn't all that great, but at least the stories were interesting. For season two, it's like they spent so much time on the graphics and overblown production, they forgot to make the stories interesting. I don't know how they chose these particular tales, but they have destroyed what made the original version of the show so creepy. And that was the fact that the stories themselves were real and relatable, and they left room for your interpretation of the facts. Leaving the conclusion to our imaginations was one of the things that made it so chilling and clever. Season two makes no room for the viewers. It lays it all out for you and ends each story with a conclusion. And I hate that.

I really miss the old version and Mahnke's narration, too. He wasn't the best voice in the business, but he was personable. His narration drew you in and felt more intimate than just watching another crappy horror anthology. It's what made Lore unique.

These episodes have just gotten more absurd as I've progressed through the season. And not once have I been creeped out by any of this. One of the things I felt was the most chilling about the first season was that it didn't focus on paranormal events or supernatural ideation; it focused on the horrors mankind is capable of and presented documented facts to back up each story. That was what was so scary... that humans can be so twisted and evil. This season is all about finding the weirdest, most common campfire tales and over-producing them by throwing on conjecture and fancy, then trying to sell it to the audience as plausible and real. I swear to god, when I watched the clock episode, I was actually swearing at the screen over how stupid it was.

I don't know why or how Lore lost its way... but I hope it comes back to us next season.

The House with a Clock in Its Walls (2018)

Okay, everyone... calm down about Satan already!

[7/10 · 1 October 2018]

If this movie had prayer and bible readings, there wouldn't be one person hollering about indoctrinating children. But that's exactly what that is... pushing a religious agenda on kids is, by definition, indoctrination. If you happen to be Christian, a film with a little black magic shouldn't threaten your belief system. Just like seeing a person smoking doesn't automatically make your child pick up a pack of cigs and a lighter to start smoking.

The fact is, there are many religions in the world. And no single religion threatens the existence of the others. Except in the case of Christians... they seem to think that their religion is better or more important than the others and can't exist in a world that embraces freedom of religion.

This movie was fun. Yes, there were some annoying parts... personally, I thought the kid was annoying and screamed entirely too often. But overall, my kids enjoyed it immensely. And surprise, surprise, none of them needed a therapist or exorcism after the credits rolled.

So everyone just calm down. Seeing this movie is not going to make children start wearing all black and yelling hail Lucifer. SMH

Miss Saigon: 25th Anniversary (2016)

Decent Production, Bad Rewrites...

[5/10 · 29 September 2018]

The production value of this version is impressive, and the performances are mostly good... but the changes they've made are inexplicable. I understand the necessity of rewriting lyrics when needed, but to change them to nonsensical drivel is unforgivable. For instance, they absolutely destroyed the song "Please" by altering the lyrics and making them totally lame and completely devoid of passion and feeling. The song is supposed to end on the word "please" for a reason...

As for casting, I'm pleased with everyone except Ellen. Her performance was just awful. Add that to the mortal sin of deleting one of the best Broadway songs of all time ("Now That I've Seen Her"), and I just have to shake my damn head. I don't know why they got rid of this beautiful gem of a song and replaced it with an empty, boring piece of garbage that made no sense.

For all of that, I gave to give this a mediocre review. Miss Saigon has always been one of my favorite musicals... but I simple can't include this production. I have season tickets to our local broadway theatre and will be seeing Miss Saigon this season. I only hope it has improved or at least been restored to its former glory.

Absentia (2017–2020)

So bad...

[1/10 · 28 September 2018]

This series was such a dumpster fire, I feel like a new word should be invented to fully express how truly awful it was. I will never get this waste of a day back...

To start with, a lot of commenters have expressed that they thought the show was bad because of the acting. This script was so terrible, Meryl Streep and Anthony Hopkins couldn't make it better.

I just can't fathom how something this abysmal can pass through multiple stages of drafting and editing and STILL get approved. And I will never understand why shows like this can't seem to get simple procedures and laws correct. It's almost like it was written in a vacuum where no one's ever seen or heard what law enforcement officers actually DO.

Then there's the added layer of disbelief over the basic human responses to difficult situations. For instance, the ex-husband totally sells her out and leads the effort to hunt her down like a dog, then he is so thick and abusive, he literally throws a torture victim across the room while she's trying desperately to save their child. And THEN she just holds his hand and forgives him, just like that?! WTF??

It was just... horrawfysmal. There. New word invented. See? Now the day isn't a total waste.