jacoblegobatman Reviews

Thor: The Dark World (2013)

Thor: The Yawn Film

[4/10 · 22 September 2018]

This movie... I'm starting to think this, and Iron Man 3, were written poorly because Avengers made so much money. So the writers just though "If these films bombed it won't matter." And boy did they bomb. And if they did bomb, we probably have gotten Phase 3. But thanks to Winter Solder and Guardians we did. Now back to... this thing.

Okay lets talk about the positives in this movie. Loki. That's it. Loki is the best part about this film. Tom Hiddleston puts his all into this and again he's awesome. Wish I could say the same for the rest.

Lets talk about the biggest problem with this movie. Asgard. Asgard is the most boring place in the MCU. It looks like dull and is so boring. With Ragnarok they didn't spend too much time there. Here we spend about a quarter there. In fact the whole movie looks dull. Everything takes a Fan4stic/ Suicide Squad look. Just because you make everything dark, doesn't mean you're brilliant.

The humour is also boring. I give the first movie credit that it did have a good once in a while. Here, its like trying to find humour in Schindler's List. Its so dull. And the villain... People have said how terrible most of the MCU villains are - minus Loki- and yeah they are right. But even with the worse ones you member them. Even with the worse ones you can remember their appearance. Here, who cares who the villain was, the movies over.

The climax is probably the biggest issue with this film. The idea of it is brilliant. Portals to other dimensions can lead to who knows how many ideas. But no. We stay in Grey Britain. No wonder it took them 4 years to make another Thor film. That was good

In the end this film should have been called: Thor: The Dull World.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)

Why Volume 2 is a perfect sequel.

[10/10 · 8 September 2018]

When the first Guardians came out it was a massive hit. Expanding the Marvel Cinematic Universe further. Making some obscure characters into pop culture legends. With great actors, soundtrack and a wonderful sense of humour. So three years later, they returned.

Volume 2 takes place a few months after Volume 1, and tells the story of Starlord's father. Let's start with the best feature of the film, soundtrack. Now in most films the script gets written, shooting, then the music super visors select music in it. But instead, Gunn made a list out of what songs to put in the film, and based it around it. Similar to what Edgar Wright did for Baby Driver. And the song selection was brilliant. From Mr Blue Sky while a battle of chaos is going on, to Cat Stevens' Farther And Son during Yondu's funeral. The songs are a great through to previous artist, who might have fallen into obscurity without Volume 2.

Another is how smart this film is. Let's take the songs for example. Come A Little Bit Closer- the song Yondu and Rocket are killing to on the ship- is about man who falls in love with a woman, who's in a relationship with man who's going to kick the mans butt. And that implies to this scene too. Yondu killing his crew for betraying him. These songs have meaning if you look a bit closer.

James Gunn wanted the film to look different than the first film. And if I had- and by had i mean of course i have to- say what that was is rainbow. There's a lot of rainbows in this film. A rainbow breathing squid thing to Yondu being insinuated in rainbow flames. This film feels like reading a 60's comic. Bright and colourful weird piece of media.

And the acting... Where do I begin? Everyone is so talented and portray their characters excellently. You can feel like these people have been around each other for a long time.

This all makes up my favourite MCU film. And one that should be a classic.

Steven Universe (2013–2019)

A modern classic animated kid shows.

[9/10 · 8 September 2018]

Steven Universe... Where to begin? This show has so much. When it first came out, I was a little - by little I mean a lot - sceptical about it. By the images I was seeing, it looked like a cheaply repeated show. I remember seeing the beginning of Keep Beach City weird, and thinking "welp, Cartoon Network has jumped the shark." I thought this with We Be Bears too, and now I want to go back in time to punch myself and say "YOU TAKE THOSE WORDS BACK, NOW!!!" But I digress, it wasn't 'till I met up with an old friend who happened to be a fan of it and I said "alright, maybe I'll give this show a shot." (If you're wondering when this was happening, it was before Steven Bomb 6 was leaked). So I watched the first episode, then another, then a season and by the end of a few weeks, I had watched all available episodes. And I see why.

For those who have no idea what Steven Universe is about, then what in the name in Monty Python's flying circus are you reading a review of it for?! Go watch it. Your time will not be wasted. Anyway, the show is about a group alien rebels known as the Crystal Gems who protect the planet from their own race. The gem race has a weird sense of fashion and hairstyles. Gems are born by implanting their gems into a surface, and sucking the life out of the planet. And yes, I meant that literally. These places are called Kindergartens. Or, to be more honest, a giant ravine. Their bodies are made out of light, meaning if they are badly damaged they can go into their gems to regenerate back into existence. While immortal, their gems are the most important and fragile feature. If broken, or cracked, they can die. Oh yeah, the gems also can fuse with another to become stronger than you. This leads to a lot of episodes focusing on fusion. It's sort of like a physical form of a relationship.

The group contains Garnet, the best character in the show, Amethyst, who gets a lot of episodes studying her character, Pearl, who has a nose so sharp that you can use it as a record spike, and Rose Quartz, leader of the Gems and who is secretly Pink Diamond. The Diamonds are basically the leaders of the gems, with others being Blue, Yellow and White Diamond. Back on track, these 3 rebels fought, while Amethyst was snoring in the ground, for the protection of life on Earth.

See, when the diamonds take over a planet, the planet normally ends with it becoming a hollow out shell of its former self. So they won, by Pearl and Rose faking her shattering, but not before the Diamonds unleashed a wave of light, or something, that corrupted most gems left on the planet. Corruption is sort like losing your sanity. The Crystal Gems help them by bubbling their gems, to keep them safe from harm's way. Like putting them in a mental asylum. The Crystal Gems survived this wave and lived happily together. Until one day, when man showed up, and changed everything. His name was Greg Universe. Or Greg DeMayor... Whatever. Rose had fallen in love with Greg, leading to a good relationship. But all good things must come to an end. And it ended when Greg and Rose decided to have a child. But for the life of her child, Rose gave up her form so her son could live. All of her loved ones were sad to say goodbye to her, especially Pearl and Greg. That day came and Steven was born and Rose, sort of, died. Over the years, Steven has met more friends and allies. Like Connie, Peridot, Lapis and others. While also making enemies like Jasper or the Diamonds themselves.

Ok, so if you somehow passed the exposition dump, then you might be thinking "What makes this show that good?" Its characters and writing. These characters felt real and so lovable. Let's start with Garnet, since I said she was my favourite. Being a fusion, some of her episodes deal with her being one. She does sometimes split apart into Ruby and Sapphire, the first LGBT couple to have a wedding in an animated kids show. These two are cute and it's always nice to see them. Their origin episode, The Answer, is one the best episodes in the show. You see, fusion on Homeworld, the Gems home planet, is allowed if it's with the same type of gem. But if it's two completely different gems, then it's like asking for death. You can see it as an analogy for basically gay marriage, with Homeworld Gems thinking that gay is wrong and some gems choosing to live as a fusion, and considering this show's history with censorship I'm not surprised. And I think it drives its message "Love who love, not matter what difference they are." The writing also makes you feel what these characters are going through. In my opinion, a death in a show is the cheapest way to make the audience cry. Not to say it can't be used right, but if you want to make the audience feel some emotion. Make them feel what the characters are feeling. From grief to self-loathing, this show makes you feel as depressed as the characters are. All the characters feel three dimensional, like actual people. It goes to show how talented these writers are.

Another factor in what makes it so good is its music. Now for me the music could fall into 3 categories. The best ones, like Stronger Than You and Love Like You, the meh ones, like Strong In The Real Way and Let's Only Think About Love, to I'D RATHER HEAR LEATHER FACES' CHAINSAW PLAY 20 CHRISTMAS SONGS THEN LISTEN TO THESE THINGS! Like What's The Use Of Feeling Blue? and Ruby Rider. The writers know how to make a catchy tune, and there's a reason why. Rebecca Sugar, the creator of the show, worked on Adventure Time writing some of its famous songs like Fiona and Cake and Daddy, Why Did You Eat My Fries? So it's understandable why these songs are so good. But nothing can be perfect and this show has its few problems. One being one character, who every time there's an episode about him, it's going to suck. I'm of course referring to the chip hair clod, Ronaldo. Who on the writing team thinks Ronaldo is so funny he should have so many episodes? Just I know he has 4 -at the time of writing this- but it feels like hell to watch one. It's a shame because the idea of Ronaldo isn't that bad. He's a conspiracy nut trying to figure out the 'truth' about the world. And considering the fact that we do have nut jobs claiming that we were visited by aliens in an earlier form of society, and that it is what happens in Steven Universe, it would be interesting to see what would happen if those kind of people would be right. But sadly they decide to give him the comedy of the first two Thor films. Another issue is that most episodes are spread out vastly between each other. It feels like waiting for the next MCU film to come out. Time slows to a crawl. That and the fact that Cartoon Network gives it very little air time. Sometimes only once a week, to make way for other "high quality" shows like Teen Titans Go. And just like that show it gets a release on home media, others don't. I swear to god, you can't find seasons 2-5 of the show on home demand. Or at least for me. But still, one of the highly rated shows on your network and you don't release any home releases. Who is running the company? The Three Stooges? Wait no that's an understatement. The corpses of the Three Stooges are running Cartoon Network.

But I can look past those errors to see a truly great show. The characters, the writer, it makes one great show to watch. Watch as much as you can to experience the beauty, that is Steven Universe.