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Reviews
Dr. Dolittle 2 (2001)
Loved the first film, but this movie is like a vacuum (it sucks)
I mean it wasn't that horrible, but it was pretty bad. I didn't care for the plot. Actually it was pretty funny--this and Nutty Professor are both remakes, both star Eddie Murphy, and both were funny. But more to it, both had pretty mediocre sequels, and both sequels had a very sexually driven plot. But that's not why I hate this movie. There's way too much pop culture, the jokes weren't really funny, and I just couldn't believe how annoying everything about it was. I really wish I could be more in depth, but sorry, I just don't care about this film. It's more like a repressed memory now, and I only commented here because I was trying to find out what the Spanish Orangutan in the first movie was saying. The original Dr Dolittle with the white guy in it was OK, the first Dr Dolittle with Eddie Murphy was hilarious and a very underrated film, but this movie sucks.
Fatal Error (1999)
for a low budget movie
And a made for TV movie too, this movie was good. the acting in it and the plot was just so great. this one of the only movies I've seen that I felt warped my mind because after seeing it I was afraid of Reaper coming to kill me through my computer screen. There were just a few minor things wrong with this movie, but it's very easily over looked.
Antonio Sabbato Jr did an excellent role in this movie along with Janine Turner and Robert Wagner. this movie just has so much suspense and it made me wanting more because I never thought a low budget TV movie could be so powerful. After viewing this I read the novel this movie was based on (four times) and it too kicked was great. If you ever see this movie come on TV, I'd watch it. The effects in this movie were pretty well done, I honestly don't know what a live calcifying human would look like but with the way the FX team did this movie I was impressed and all it shows is that all these bad made for TV movies out there with low budgets shouldn't suck so bad.
watch it. It's really good, no really, it is!
Puppet Master vs Demonic Toys (2004)
Wow
When I saw the previews for this when it came out, I was gonna watch it. I wanted to watch it. I've never seen any of the Demonic Toys or the Puppet Master movies before this, but seeing how bad this movie was I don't even wanna see it. first off, for the low budget this movie was extremely awful. And you don't need a big budget to make a good movie. The acting was bad, the plot was rushed, and the final scene where the puppets fight the demonic toys was lame. I knew how bad this movie was gonna be when the puppets came to life and the strings were visible. I couldn't believe they hadn't noticed it.
But then again I shouldn't have expected much from it because just about every sci-fi Saturday night movie premiere is lame and totally blows. Don't watch this movie thinking it's horrifying, it was laughable at how bad it was and it wasn't even meant to be that way.
This movie BLOWS
If Footmen Tire You What Will Horses Do? (1971)
The Soviets really are gonna take over!
This movie... It's meaning and it's warning is now useless since the Soviet Union has already fallen and collapsed, but the message of this movie centers around that if we all continue with our lives of smoking, drinking, drugs, wearing mini skirts, and not going to church will cause the Soviets to come and enslave the US population. Pretty much all this is happens to be a Soviet Propaganda film and a pro God film all at once.
NOw I love this movie. I saw it on Google since it's in public domain. Now as you all watch this you're gonna obviously learn that much of this is being overly dramatized and possibly full of lies. Now they claims these account are real, but that's not really verified. but what I"m laughing at is that the film makers are trying too hard to make this film serious, but at the same time it's the funniest damn film ever. It's unintentionally funny, cheesy, and it's like one of those cheesy 70s anti drug films... Except with Communism. I'd recommend watching it this classic comedy. It's only 50 minutes long, and you'll laugh out loud watching it! it's so damn cheesy but so funny. Really intense tho. this is violent in scenes. But watching it you'll be wondering if it was intentionally made to be funny.
And you'll truly believe that everybody in the 70s smoked pot. hahahha, 10 out of 10
Kaze no na wa amunejia (1990)
Almost unknown, but definitely a classic
Let me be down to earth. I hate Anime. I almost hate every thing about it from cheesy plots to cheesy overused plots. But this movie is like none of that. It deals with every human on the face of the Earth being drained of their memories and turning them into cavemen. The story starts with a man named Wataru who meets some woman that still has her memories and was not affected by the wind that drained away everyones thoughts. Mainly they have them trying to reach New York City while this machine which was meant for dealing with riots in urban settings trying to kill them. Since everyone is in a caveman state of mind, naturally their unorthodox behavior has made them targets. But besides the whole machine attacking them, it's like the Terminator movies. The way how the settings were made out, and mainly how the plot kept going, it makes this movie very much worth watching. It's been about 5 years since I last saw it, but if you ever get a chance to see it, do yourself a favor and buy it. You will not be disappointed.
Fight Club (1999)
One of the best movies since Pulp Fiction
Somehow when I saw the previews for this and heard so much I classed it as one of those "oh man, it's one of those let's get wasted and watch film." I was so wrong. If I could go back in time I'd beat the f*ck out of myself for saying so. Fight Club is one of Edward Norton's best roles since American History X, and personally it's one of my favorite movies as of now. Don't let your conscience tell you that it's just some movie about guys fighting in the basement of a night club. F*ck em! This damn movie is so cool.
One, the special effects used were pretty damn sweet. I loved the usage of Subliminal Messaging throughout the film. THis movie is gold. I can't really explain much about it, but if you get the chance to see it, do it! YOu'll regret waiting so long to see it if you take too long. SO come on, what the f*ck are you waiting for?! Watch it! NOW!
10/10
Superman Returns (2006)
And I thought Spider Man 2 was the best... I was wrong...
In 2004 when Spider Man 2 came out I thought it was the best super hero movie I have ever seen. So the comic book future of films was wide open. I heard this was coming out in 07 shortly after Spider Man 2 was released, so I thought about how cool Superman would look after seeing the SFX dished out in SPider Man 2. So anyways, I sat around and I got movies like Constantine, which kinda sucked, but it was watchable. Then we got Elektra, which I thought was a little better than Daredevil. BUt from there I expected Marvel to break through with Fantastic Four. DC then shells out Batman Begins, which was rather well done. It looked great on the screen. Fantastic FOur came out and I figured Marvel was gonna blow DC away, I was wrong. THat movie just could not do it... X Men The Last Stand was next for Marvel. Would it make it? NO! It sucked as well! Marvel has already lost their credibility since they only have Spider Man and Punisher. What? The Punisher kicked ass! Anyways, Superman came around and i thought it was gonna suck because he had no villain. I watched the movie and thought it was going to be sub par, but I was wrong. Normally when I go to Drive ins I don't pay much attention to movies, but Superman Returns was the first real movie that actual had me on the edge of my seat since, well, ever. The Shuttle Rescue was impressive, it was worth the admission. I didn't get to finish this movie though, we had to leave early, but I'll tell you about how cool it was.
Acting. It gets better and better. It had it's cheesy points, but that was supposed to be like the comic books. Brandon Routh has already been able to overcome his predecessors with the Superman Image, so I liked it. I'm glad Bryan Synger dropped out of X Men The Last Stand because he put that dark vigilante style into this movie.
Plot. It did nice picking up after the first five movies, and it was seamless to me because I wasn't really a big fan of the first five movies. This story shows that Lex Luthor really can come up with an evil plan after all. His plan in this movie is to use a crystal that can cause blackouts and then he will soon flood the planet and make his own continent to like on. Yeah, it's dark as hell! His actions in this movie actually placed me on Superman's side because when I see plots in some movies, I always say, "Ah screw it, let 'em die already." I was rooting for Doc Ock in Spider Man 2. But that's as much as I can say on that.
Action. The action scenes alone in this movie was enough to pull me in. Superman still has that, "nobody dies while I'm around" type of character, which is good. I can't really spoil them, but let's just say they are amazing.
Overall, I'd have to say that Superman has finally brought faith into DC and I'm going to be awaiting a possible sequel and another DC movie to come out. I also am awaiting Spider Man 3. And if you don't like Superman, there's a Spider Man 3 trailer in the beginning. Wait... Watch this movie, now. Here's a salute to Bryan Synger for bringing faith back into Superman and DC.
10/10
The Matrix (1999)
Cool fights, gun fights, great plot, anime like scenes, great SFX, great acting, and a great movie. If you don't like this, F*CK YOU!!! :-D
OH my god! Words cannot define how great this movie is! This was the greatest movie of the Millennium in my opinion--or at least the greatest action movie. It took me four years until after this movie came out to actually sit down and watch it. OK, some people who watch this probably sit down through the first half hour and get bored, you're supposed to watch the whole movie. Once you get to the kung fu fighting later on, this movie will not let you go. This movie is the most spoofed, most ripped off (though this movie takes lots of stuff itself), and in fact is the most inspirational film ever.
Let's start off with the plot. In the future mankind celebrates over their on creations, which are machines and AI. Machines become slaves and revolt, a war starts, and the machines win of course. You really didn't think humans would win did you? So in return every surviving human on the planet is placed inside of a huge computer system called The Matrix which is an artificial dream world. Some time after wards, a man actually gets free and starts freeing people. Our movie starts with Trinity (Carrie Ann Moss) struggling to escape the grasp of agents which are sentient programs meant to keep people like us in line.
So after she escapes, it turns into a battle for Trinity and the wise black dude of this movie Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) to find Neo (Keanu Reeves) and free him from the Matrix before the agents get him. From here, I'll let you watch. This movie is one that you have to watch twice to get everything. Plot rocks.
Action scenes. Oh, if you say they are lame you should be neutered so your perfectionist genes can't contaminate the population. All of the fight scenes are well delivered by Yuen Wo Ping in this film. The addition of guns in this movie worked well too. All I can say is they rocked.
Acting. OK, acting is good. Sometimes it's a little cheesy, but every scifi movie needs it. Keanu Reeves has more energy in this movie rather than his monotone non inspired voice in the sequels.
This movie was well delivered in terms of mixing plot with action. It had the cool scifi plot, so when we got to see the action it felt like a big reward. This movie is a must see for action fans or scifi fans--or even movie fans in general. If you haven't seen it you better read the next few lines and go see it. SEE IT NOW! 10/10
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
Brett Ratner not to blame
This film is by overall the weakest of the three. It wasn't that good, but out of all this, most people say it's because of Brett Ratner's poor director abilities. No, I do not blame him, and I don't find him and a bad director either--Red Dragon was still interesting. He made that movie much better than the book.
But it wasn't his fault this movie was bad. The way many of the special effects shots were done, I was rather impressed. Also, with how the X men series was going to be done with just 3 movies rather than five, can we really blame Brett? Bryan Synger did a much better job with the first two movies, but he didn't solve much of the plot, and he left open too many damn plot holes that weren't fixable in this movie. Also, with all of the stuff Brett had to rap up and how he managed to do that much in the movie was well done in some areas.
OK, on with the movie. The plot here is that now the humans have a type of antigen that can turn mutants back into people. At the same time Jean comes back as the Phoenix and is now uber evil. Also, Rogue wants to become human again so her and Iceman can get it on. Oh wait, there's more, there's this kid whose able to take away peoples powers that Magneto is bent on destroying. Is there more subplots to throw at us? You betcha'! At the beginning of the movie there is Angel who wants to become a human and then decides not to, in fact it was a subplot so lame, so useless, I wish it weren't there or maybe it could have had more of a point. I mean the whole addition of him was done so he could do some dramatic rescue in the end--yeah--and that was all. Wait! More subplots! Let's not forget that Magneto wants to start a revolution. Oh the agony, Beast is trying to support the antigen usage. Storm is now in charge of the X Men--WTF?! Wow, it's a wide ranging movie! I think this could have been better if we had a few more X men movies. The acting is good, I give some of it that. Hugh Jackman did nice on his reprise role as Wolverine. Halle Berry got on my nerves as Storm in this movie. Why you ask? Storm didn't do much in the first X men film. She barely had anything to do with the second, she a useless character, uninteresting, and now in this she's practically the main character. At least Brett kept her in, but why make her the leader? I was rather annoyed by this entry. Throughout the whole movie I was waiting for the traditional Wolverine versus bad ass and cool mutant fight... I won't say much there, but we're you as angry at this as me? Superman Returns better be good. If that's a piece of crap I will be fuggin' angry that Bryan left X3 to direct a crap ball. But don't really take my opinion on this movie, see it yourself. You might like it... Oh, and here's a salute to Fox--thanks for f*cking up one of the best mutant franchises form Marvel.
6/10
Underworld (2003)
And then the war continued, and we got the biggest ball of original crap to ever come out of Hollywood.
This movie, all I can say is that it is awful to the very root. The concept and premise of this movie was just horrible. They tried to make something revolutionary like the Matrix but just with Vampires and Werewolves. I don't know why, but I really hate this movie, I like vampires and Werewolves (which they call Lycans in the movie) but this movie is just ridiculous. I failed to see what was so beautiful and amazing about this movie. It was stupid. I hated the plot, though it sounded a bit original and kind of promising, It wasn't. I haven't seen the sequel yet, I don't plan on it, so I have to say this is the only movie I will dare give a one to because I hated it to the core.
Sorry if this sounds more like a rant, but I just do not care for this movie. Ultraviolet was better than this! And I thought that was the worst movie ever at once...
1/10 There's a load of better films out there.
From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money (1999)
Good movie. Great Effects. Well spent budget. Who keeps B*****in' at it? The movie is B*****in'!
I loved From Dusk till Dawn. So with that, no wonder they would make a sequel. OK, the third movie sucked, but this one was great. It was bloody, nice acting, and a great cast too. I saw this movie back when it came out and I can see why some people complain at it, but there should be no complaining. Quentin and Robert bay not have directed it, but it was on FX yesterday morning and I sat down to watch it. This movie had some nice B Action points, but for a B action film and what they've done for it with such a low budget I was mighty impressed.
Plot, a couple of guys are planning a big heist after one fugitive gets out of jail. There was nothing wrong with it here and the way everything was mashed together in the end and in the plot in general was well done. OK, it might not beat the first one and I would have given this movie a 7 but for all of the effects and what they did with such a low budget--also noting how many movies with budgets this low usually suck--I had to give it a ten.
The acting was great. I think this was Robert Patricks best role since The Faculty and Terminator 2 Judgement day. It's not as gory as the first movie, but you can expect that. The SFX was pretty cool, and the vampires in this movie are taken as more of a threat rather than the ones in the first which were such a pushover. it may contradict some of the stuff set by vampires in the first film, but let's forget that one and the third film.
This movie is great, if you liked the first then there is no reason to skip this. Give it a rent--no--I'd buy this one because of how good it is.
The big 10 for me.
Land of the Dead (2005)
Definitely one of the best Zombie movies to come from Cinema in well over 30 years
Having been a fan of the Zombie genre and I am a writer of the genre, I find George Romero and Don O' Bannon to be the best zombie filmmakers ever. I loved Night of The Living Dead despite it's low budget, I thought the original Dawn of the Dead was the best amongst them all, and I loved Day of the Dead though it fell short of Dawn of the Dead. Since George Romero has been off the Hollywood scene for a few years, he's obviously not sitting around doing nothing. He wrote this movie, and we are lucky to have it.
Land of the Dead is quite possibly the goriest film ever because of all the zombie kills seen through out it is enough to make you want to urn for more--if not vomit--and it definitely keeps your attention. This movie may not be the best of the series, but it doesn't fall short of anything.
The plot is a bit lacking because it focuses on too many characters at once rather than just the ones that really matter. The thought of smart zombies was a nice addition because we all loved Bug (I think that was his name) form Day of the Dead. Big Papa was pretty cool. Though Land of the Dead is arguably not the best Zombie movie ever made, but it's got to fight some competition put up from "28 Days Later", Zack Snyder's "Dawn of the Dead", and the Cult Classic "Shaun of the Dead." The acting is well done in this one, but some is cheesy. But cheesiness makes zombie movies fun! Those who watch them for gore should go check this out because it's well worth buying. My only problem with the movie is that I can't really sit down and watch it again and again like other movies like 28 Days Later and Shaun of the Dead, but we have to cut Romero some slack. I would have given this a seven, but the fact that the father of Zombie movies could still release a great film after almost 35 years is impressive.
Great film, I'd go rent it or just buy it if you have the money. It's a must own for every zombie/Romero/gore/horror fan alike! 8/10
Haute tension (2003)
Worth the watch, but it's definitely no Halloween
Well, I heard of this movie on Attack of the Show during the Thanksgiving holiday and what they said was that it was a Zombie movie. So that's the only reason I bought it because of how gory they said it was. Then the woman at the counter said it was an old fashioned Slasher movie, so I nodded because I liked Halloween, it's the best slasher flick.
When I first saw it the movie was a bit confusing. The acting was pretty good, but most of it was just poor dubbing that kind of got annoying after a while, but that's something to shake off. The further the movie went in the movie got much more brutal, bloodier, and it was definitely a lot bloodier than Slasher movies I normally see *shrugs* which was cool. The plot is something that's kind of hard to really explain, but let's just try it the easy way...
It starts off where this girl finds another girl, stay the night at her house, and all hell breaks loose. Suddenly a killer who works for an Electric company (it's been a while since I've seen it, so I'm not sure) and he starts killing off the family. Soon he captures the main character's friend whom she soon learns that she is in love with. And the plot from there gets really weird, but I can't say much or that would spoil it.
The scenes were well directed and at some points I almost had to cover my eyes because the movie did get much more brutal... I already said that, but any who...
THis one's worth the watch once, it's not as good as Halloween, but it's much bloodier. And the whole movie will leave you in question. IN fact, yesterday I finally understood it because my friend explained it. There's nudity for all those dudes out there who only check out these movies for that. So please pick it up and give it a watch.
8/10
Easy Rider (1969)
A true stoner classic, it's every American's duty to view this film.
I saw this movie when I was in my glory days, and I remember seeing this film on AMC one night. First I was just sitting around, and I noticed it has another message. There's another message in this movie some don't spot right off, I'll let you find it for yourself.
I wasn't expecting too much from it because I heard it was just a crazy party movie and we've all heard the "it's just two guys biking" film. No, don't listen to that crap, it's something else. I wouldn't upright and say it's just a stoner film, but I say this because they were stoned writing it, directing it, and filming it, so go figure. It was excellent. Don't listen to people saying how simple it is. Out of the 100 minutes, only 10 were spent on the bikes. Watch it.
The plot is simple, two hippies find a bag of coke and go cell it to some guy at an airport in LA. It's a cameo by Phil Spector who produced Let It Be. So with this money they decide to stuff it into their gas tanks and take it off to Key West. On the way, they show the good sides of America, the peaceful, and the morally corrupt south.
The acting was superb. I love it! Peter Fonda really showed his rebellious side in this. Dennis Hopper was very upbeat in the movie. He wasn't the best of the film except when he was angry. But with all the hardships, the drug paranoia, and all of the big events going on in America, Dennis Hopper really brought this film forewards. It was his most impressive job.
This movie isn't one of those movies that just pulls you in and wont let go, it's just peaceful. YOu'll learn some lessons about how things were. And soon you'll realize how well America now is like it was then. This movie will have you in tears at the end. That's all I'm saying. If you don't watch it, shame on you! 10/10