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Reviews
Frozen (2010)
Most idiot movie ever
First,on IMDb. Did you notice there is no "goof" section? Did you notice that the "trivia" section is crammed with chit chat about how difficult and dangerous was the filming? This is all from the production studio, it's a marketing trick to sell and advertise the most idiot, illogical, implausible move of the decade (maybe longer). There are so many illogical things (even assuming that the three skiers are completely brainless), it's not easy to write them down. Some among the "not involved in this moron movie production" reviewers already mentioned a few. I'll point out that: 1. the chairlift cable is at best at tree-top level, as can be seen in various scenes (say at 1:10:54, but there are various shot of the whole track, for ex. at 26:03), so that leaning from the bottom of the chair will make at best some 5-6 m. jump on fresh snow; 2. assuming that if you jump you won't jump to fall strait on your legs, you could instead make some sort of rope with whatever clothes and equipment you have with you; 3.the way to close a sky-lift is not to say "wait for the last three to come down" (which is illogical, as you don't know how many people form previous trips are still skiing on the mountain), its to put a red flag on a chair (as clearly seen at 18:56 ); 4. the resort could never be closed for days because of bad weather; in fact the morning after the sky is clearly clear and bright (1:10:00, even as at 1:12:00 is oddly already gray with heavy snow); such a closure in high season would result in dramatic loss of money; 5. if in such resort there are wolf packs roaming (which is quite improbable, given wolves habits), the whole track would at least been protected by a net-fence; this also prevents accidents if a skier would lose the track, or deliberately try to get off it; 6. before jumping try to get to the nearest pole, especially if your limb are not yet frozen and you are not wearing heavy and cumbersome ski-boots (she doesn't, for example); These are some of the illogical issues of the movie. I'm eager to see when the "goof" section will be created. It will be hilarious. The vote is 1 but fitting would be some -35.
Salt (2010)
Terrible
The movie is utterly outrageous. Nothing in it is barely logical. From start to finish what you see is Angelina Jolie as an indestructible war machine with no plausible or understandable aim. A really bad movie... unless you care only about fighting scenes and impossible action. Like don't getting a bruise jumping from car to car, climbing barehanded the wall of a fifteen storeys building, jumping in a winter lake from a helicopter, or swooping down an elevator shaft. One of the worst movies ever. The people dubbing in Russian are even not that bad, but the overall impression is quite sad. BTW, have you seen the handcuffs? With a half-meter chain between them, you can really hurt somebody... Did you notice that she has a blood stain on her back when she got shot, even if she is wearing a bullet-proof jacket?
Shutter Island (2010)
don't get misled
Oooo! it's Scorsese! and The Caprio, and Ben "Gandhi" Kingsley. Let's start the praise, the "masterpiece litany"!!!! The film is presented this way (the quote is from a review at IMDb's): SHUTTER ISLAND is the story of two U.S. marshals, Teddy Daniels and Chuck Aule, who are summoned to a remote and barren island off the coast of Massachusetts to investigate the mysterious disappearance of a murderess from the island's fortress-like hospital for the criminally insane. Try now to believe it. As the aim of the movie is to deny what you have just read. So what's the point? I can introduce Alice in wonderland like "it is the story of a Chinese manufacturer who is hired by a mysterious underground tea dealer. Eventually she has to confront the mischievous queen of Tibet to defend a bunch of rabbits". Shutter Island is a bad movie. Everything is built on a "twist" which is clear since the very beginning. In-depth explanation involving fire and water dichotomy (some review at IMDb's) must come from patient 64. There are a couple of nice shots (nice doesn't necessarily mean "beautiful"), but there are a lot of flaws in the "story", boring clichés, incongruences, unexplainable behaviour even for an asylum... and the more you try to sum up things, the worst it looks.
Hard Candy (2005)
Crap Handy
The first movie by a clip director. Filmed in 18 days in two locations. And they kept the budget lower than a million dollar (1,000,000 $). The movie is very stupid, most of what happens has no logic (many reviews point that out; I'll add that if you have a sadistic teenager in your home and you are tied to a chair with a gun in one hand, would you really roll in the chair to pursue her, instead of freeing yourself??). There is no clear evidence of the male character guilt, no motives for him to hang himself, in any case all the evidence is against the sadistic girl and not the tortured one. Unless keeping a picture in your safe is some kind of a crime. Really bad.
Agora (2009)
A true abomination
Amenábar's movie is a misshapen anti-Christian delirium which represents an insult to historical facts as well as to believers. If IMDb reviewers where not personally involved (either to support the movie or because they are atheists), this film would have a lower rating and far less reviews. Actually not only the portrayal of Christians is crappy (no historical basis), but it lacks even logic, especially depicting the relations between Christian Romans Jews and Heathens. Some factual mistakes are pointed out in the Goofs' section. The movie is quite boring, the characters are not at all developed, with a partial exception for the maniac woman. Very poor. Some photograph shots has to be saved from the general mess though, but the set's magnificence sometimes collides with pathetic CGI effects, which you could easily find in GoogleEarth too.
Across the Hall (2009)
It depends
If you want to really enjoy this film, don't forget to switch off your brain before viewing. From the beginning titles throughout the all film you will as well enjoy the atmosphere of the hotel, the smart photography, the music score and the decent performance of the actors. Alas, don't expect anyone of the characters do something intelligent, especially the guy who is completely innocent and then flees (just to get caught a few storeys below) like he had something to hide or be afraid of. If you are curious about how a script can be messy and how easy it is to have holes in a plot, you should check this flick out. (the vote 1 is to correct the misleading official IMDb rating)
Underworld: Evolution (2006)
A b-movie just to please the box-office, have you been fooled too?
What could you expect from a movie, which starts with a quote from the horrible Matrix (R)Evolution(S), as the best character of Underworld 1 warns out "It ends tonight"? All that was intriguing, genuine, attractive in the first movie has been thrown out in the garbage can. A movie is essentially a story. A good sequel is a movie where you tell different things in the same way, where moviegoers get the same feelings but in a different way. If you bump off in the first 20 min. all the characters who had survived form part one (Kraven, the blond vampire-woman and all the Covent) that's fair evidence that you think a plot is made by a collection of fight scenes, plus some cheesy nudity and new characters, their only purpose being to be slaughtered. Corvinus and Tanis could bring something interesting in the move, but they are vapid, shallow and lifeless even before they get killed. Actually Corvinus was really not needed, unless it would become a major figure of the movie, not a self-murdering 700 year old loser. A real waste. Not mentioning the flaws of continuity, logic, and lore tradition (this is about how vamp and werewolves can be killed). Common sense is also sorely lacking in the movie, especially when we have been told by many movies how helicopters crash... by the way
why Marcus after supposedly having been resurrected many times in the past centuries got just now the urge to free his brother? The film is an insult to fans of Underworld and a not recommendable one for those who are not in the genre.