gnadfly Reviews

Brandi and Jarrod: Married to the Job (2014– )

Laughably Bad

[2/10 · 13 October 2015]

Storage Wars couple Brandi and Jarrod's version of a reality show. The few episodes I partly saw showed how they lived in an remodeled house with two kids that likely knew what a CPS visit was. A&E spent a lot time hyping this series that ended abruptly when the audience decided they didn't care that they got married.

IMDb.com is demanding that there be at least 10 lines of text. This is difficult because the serious was short and vacuous. Again, one episode was basically Jarrod sitting on his butt deciding if he was going to ask the mother of his two children that he lived with to marry him and how he was going to announce it. It might have been somewhat interesting except Jarrod is a douche who lacks imagination and class.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)

Disturbing, perverse, gory trash

[2/10 · 24 February 2008]

I had no knowledge of Todd the musical or its previous incarnation's fan base when I saw this movie.

Simply, it is nauseating. I went with my wife and she even apologized after the film.

Evidently Depp's character was wrongly put in prison for a number of years and has come back for revenge. What follows is a serial killer's murders set to music! And somehow its also a romantic comedy although I never laughed once. Plot holes are all over the place: Depp has the chance to kill his adversary about 30 minutes into the movie, Depp keeps slashing throats and people keep coming in for more shaves! Avoid this movie. Its put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada (2005)

Slow Moving, Patronizing

[4/10 · 12 March 2006]

********** Many Spoilers, Many Flaws *************** The premise of the movie is a Border Patrol agent, Norton, isn't too fond of illegal aliens and kills one. Pete, the title character's slaughtered friend, finds out its Norton and takes him and the body on a journey to bury him in Estrada's home village.

Problem: The killing was just a bad accident. Its pretty apparent the agent had remorse but panicked and hid the deed along with his Border Agent buddies. The Border Patrol are portrayed as two dimensional bumbling racists while the Mexicans are kindhearted, trying to survive. Although Hollywood wants you to believe in the dignity of their fellow man there is none for the Border Patrol. Norton is never really given a chance to explain what happened to Pete.

Problem: The promise that Estrada makes Pete keep in the event of his death is based on a lie that cheapens the characters involved and doesn't make sense. My guess it pushes the movie over the 1:30 mark.

Problem: There is multiple POV versions of a couple of scenes that don't really differ. I'm tired of this cinema trick and its useless here except to push the movie over 1:30.

Best Part: Levon Helm as the blind hermit. This is BY FAR the best and most "insightful" part of the movie. Dwight Yoakum's performance is also good but Levon steals the movie.

BIG Problem: Tommy Lee Jones has no range. He has an unsympathetic constant deadpan delivery. Shouldn't be allowed to carry a movie.

Wait for it to come out on video. Finally, for those who hype the "new Western" such as this film and Brokeback Mountain, rent "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance." This shows real conflict, heroism, friendship and sacrifice. Also, "Shane" for the breathtaking scenery.