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homerbrain
Reviews
Pompeii (2014)
A combined Pompeii / Titanic review (to save space)
Cassia/Rose yearns for authenticity and rescue from an empty life of unearned privilege. Yet little does she know that the very ship she is sailing on is about to hit a volcano. Her stuck up parents know nothing of love so when happy-go-lucky drifter and gladiator Milo/Jack steps into her life the cataclysm du jour will be the musical score to their passionate rebellion against stultifying normativity. Milo/Jack might be resentful of his third class dungeon but his Irish/Celtic charm finds him ready allies in other minorities despised by the English/Roman autocrats. Milo/Jack proves he is the right man for Cassia/Rose by showing her the beauty of steerage/a field in the moonlight. After climaxing in the best sex ever, the couple can no longer ignore the signs that their parent's stupid world is listing/out-gassing. If they want nooky again they must escape and they call on their new found allies who will die to help them get out (literally). Milo/Jack and Cassia/Rose float away on a door/flaming horse and live happily ever after. Or close enough.
Hurricane (2018)
Could only be made now
Our brave Polish heroes fight a long battle against English intransigence and hostility in an allegory of the horrors of Brexit, truly making this a movie of our times. While stylistically identical to Star Wars in terms of action, we are nevertheless rebooted in a strange Dr Who parallel world of only stiff, straight white people, dramatically reminding us that without people of colour and gender non-conformity society slides to fascist and imperialistic tendencies. The Poles down to earth charm and obvious virility wins the hearts of the working class feminists struggling with authoritarian and oafish masculinity. The villainous English painfully learn that a closed border is a closed mind, and no amount of strafing immigrants with their war machine will stop hope.