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Murder on the Orient Express (2017)
A Story Well Told
This is one of those "they don't make movies like this anymore" films that I'm glad did get made. It's a simple story that is easy to follow and it is a story first and foremost. It's not one of those films where the protagonist attempts to dazzle you with his intellectual brilliance, or where he challenges you to a duel of wits. No. It is a process of discovery and the detective, throughout the story, keeps his cards open, letting you know as much as he does. I loved Kenneth Branagh's style of acting. When I found out Johnny Depp was in the film, I automatically assumed he had the leading role, but he didn't. I haven't seen Kenneth Branagh in any other film prior to this and I'm very pleasantly surprised. He managed to completely win me over. The character of Hercule Poirot is all about charm and elegance, and this actor managed to pull it off. In fact, he was the most believable of all the fictional characters on the train.
I loved the atmosphere. Loved the choice of angles - to shoot lengthy scenes from the outside of the train, or to go full overhead like in a computer game. Everything about the movie I loved. Even though I've seen and heard the same story retold a dozen times I never get tired of it. This movie did it justice.
Bravo!
Snowpiercer (2013)
Brilliant
Loved every second of it! Anyone who deconstructs the plot and complains about logistics can't see the forest for the trees.
This is not science fiction. It's not a post-apocalyptic fantasy - the kind you might expect from Roland Emmerich, and it's not a drama piece about dystopian future. It's a social metaphor - something that should be apparent from the trailer. It's about human nature and motivation. It's about social progression. It's about the journey that destroys and corrupts men who choose to partake in it.
The ending, well, if you feel unresolved - come up with a better one. I dare you. See if you can make a better movie given the setting.
All I care about is the fact that the vehicle works and exceeds every expectation. I was consumed by it. I loved every actor who pulled my strings. There was no confusion as to whom I was supposed to sympathize with and whom I was supposed to hate. The "villains" of this film - oh, they did such an amazing job evoking emotion while having little or no dialogue and even though it may look like they presented a threat, the truth is, the greatest threat main protagonist had to face was himself. That is the grand revelation - that is the engine. Not the mechanical part, but his own motivation set by a past experiences and suppressed memories. When all that is revealed, protagonist has fulfilled his duty and in the end simply vanishes.
The train, one might say, has run its course.
The Good Dinosaur (2015)
The Bad Dinosaur
No point talking about the quality of visuals. This is Pixar, so you know exactly what to expect.
Plot wise, the story is called "The Good Dinosaur". Revolves around a create who tries to earn his mark - the rite of passage, by doing something good.
And how does he accomplish that? First, by causing the death of his father and blaming it on a human creature he was supposed to protect the food from. Then while the dinosaur goes on his little adventure, the family is left to starve, taking care of their crop field without a breadwinner. Though his journey the dinosaur naively exposes a small creature to vultures, who violently devour him in front of his eyes. He nearly loses his human companion to the same group of predators. Redemption does come, if one is to ignore that the dinosaur selfishly denied the creature the chance to re-unite with his own kind earlier, which would've prevented the whole ordeal.
He also encounters a group of T-Rex ranchers who tend a flock of buffalo's. The dinosaur helps them recover their lost herd, after being explicitly threatened by the head T-Rex. I can assure you, those carnivores don't raise buffalo's as pets, but unlike the vultures they somehow get to be the good characters in this movie.
When the journey ends, the dinosaur earns his mark, which might work from the audience's perspective, but if you judge him by the merits of his family all he's really done is abandon them with no prior warning. The good dinosaur left and came back later without a father just in time for the harvest. A true hero! I give the movie 2 stars. 1 for outstanding graphics and 1 for manipulative tear-jerk moments that worked as intended. The movie may be inappropriate for smaller kids due to occasional violence.
As for the lessons it teaches kids, the best one, I guess, is not to trust vultures... when they try squeezing $15 out of you for a movie ticket.
Pump! (2014)
Pure Propaganda
Any mention of the fact that biofuel production relies on oil? Any mention of top soil depletion? Any mention of problems with Brazilian miracle economy addicted to debt and suffering heavy inflation, having rising poverty rates? Nope!
Sure they mention electric vehicles in order to appear unbiased, but electric technology gets only a few minutes of screen time. Any mention that Elon Musk had to receive a bailout and that his company keeps burning through investor cash like there's no tomorrow? Any mention of bankrupt Fisker? Any mention of Obama's corruption scandal involving solar panel darling Solyndra? Nope!
Any mention of frackers going out of business not due to pollution concerns but because the fuel they produce is only viable economically at $100+ per barrel? Nope!
So who's paying for this propaganda? Every fuel industry has a lobby. Oil has a lobby. EV makers have a lobby. Ethanol corn industry has a lobby.
Well, to find the answer you have to look at which solution receives the most screen time in this mockumentary.
It's guys like these: https://www.change2e85.com
The "feel good" reforms everyone loves so much provided to you by just one of the competing lobbies who doesn't really care about what's best for everyone. All they know is there's a good market and they want a piece of it.
Flex fuel is the miracle fuel - clean burning, job making, tax reducing, war eliminating. When you hear all those promises bundled together, you know it's pure manufactured BS! And it's American, American, American! Sure, throw in patriotism for good measure.
If I could give this film less than 1 star, I would!
Æon Flux (2005)
Could've Been Better
One of very few movies in memory that manages to miscast the entire cast, never mind getting everything else wrong.
The dreamy nature of the original is completely gone. What's left is something like Equilibrium shot on low budget. A movie influenced by other successful comic book adaptations coming out at the same time, trying to find itself in a niche it wasn't meant to fill.
What made the original series unique? The atmosphere. Not even the visuals, but the fact that the plots made almost no sense logically. It was all emotion and perception. The sensation was captivating. Not so much science fiction, but warping of reality and continuity. Even the sound. It all worked together wonderfully.
This film? Just a pretty actress doing flips in a tight dress. Hey, it's based off a comic! They make money now! Go buy tickets!
If you like this film, watch Equilibrium instead. Something that feels like it came off the same assembly line, yet manages to succeed in every aspect where this movie fails. Oh... and it actually cost 1/3 of the money to make.
Spring Breakers (2012)
Misleading Poster
This was one of the movies that I went into thinking it was going to be one of those dumb teenager flicks that I enjoy for being bad to the point of entertaining, yet how surprised I was to find a visual masterpiece and an actual adult story arc with character development! I'm used to encountering actor notariety films written to highlight specific stars, while turning every other character into a throwaway role. It was refreshing to see the stars of this film being treated like everyone else, receiving an equal amount of screen time and no special treatment.
James Franco's acting is simply outstanding. Many times I had to remind myself who the person was and still I could not believe how well he carried it.
The poster doesn't do this movie justice. It has to be the case of the marketing department taking over and putting a spin to attract younger male audience when in reality this movie should sitting next to Requiem for a Dream and Trainpotting in the adult section.
The film is by no means deep or thought provoking. Yet another story that didn't have to be re-told, yet one that set a task and met it. It surprised me and that means it delivered more than I asked for. A solid 9 (a notch below the other 2 films I've mentioned)!
Runaway (1984)
Memory Lane
I watched this movie with my father when I was little. For its time it was a masterpiece. The robot movies and early cg assisted sci-fi were becoming a trend (Short Circuit, Flight Of The Navigator, The Abyss). The filmmakers were experimenting with animatronics and many plots seemed to have been written solely for the purpose of showing off the latest and greatest. Each new movie pushed the envelope.
Sure, the action, suspense, script and choreography - everything pales in comparison to today's films and this one, probably, can only be enjoyed by someone who was growing up at the time it was made. I still give it a full 10. I work in film business now, I also make robots and animatronics and if you want to know what inspired me it were gems like this.
Mulholland Dr. (2001)
Waking Up
David Lynch is a unique artist who not only understands, but is able to convey the nature of dreams by creating a highly emotional, abstract environment.
This film made me scratch my head many times, not because I couldn't comprehend the plot, but because I was puzzled by my own response to the characters. Like a dream, it makes almost no sense in the hindsight. The roles that people play in this picture reflect the nuances of dream reality where personalities often interchange and morph, yet never appear confusing to the dreamer.
Most of Lynch's films I'd describe as raw perception - not reality, but it's appearance through the lens of subconsciousness.
Sliders (1995)
All downhill after the first 3 seasons.
A perfect example of a show being written into the ground, with the entire original cast being replaced by the end of the series.
The pilot is still one of my favorites for any sci-fi series. I keep re-watching it to this day. I wish it was made into a feature instead, with the rest being left to imagination.
The spirit of exploration established initially, was gone the moment they introduced a persistent villain. The formula changed and over time got diluted to the point where none of the taste remained that made me fall in love with the show.
I recommend watching no more than 3 seasons and just ending it there. That way you'll remember the best of it.
The Ten (2007)
Hilarious
This is the kind of script that rarely sees the light of day, containing more controversy than the average viewer, producer or actor is willing to handle.
In other words, I think it's a miracle this rare comedy gem got made.
It is made of short stories that stand on their own and yet make a part of a bigger one. All jokes are played with a straight face (Airplane style) which makes them so much more hilarious. The take on the meaning of commandments rivals observations made by George Carlin.
I discovered the movie accidentally while tracking Liev Schreiber's film career and couldn't be happier.
One recommendation. You have to be a hardcore atheist and generally open-minded in order to enjoy this film. If you are touchy about religion, watch Passion or The Last Temptation. This is not your film.
The movie isn't trying to be offensive, yet I can see it offending many viewers. Don't let the low rating fool you. It's a 9.0 grade film, if you are in the right mindset.
The Grey (2011)
Would you watch it if it weren't for Liam Neeson?
The problem with this movie is that it is completely generic and predictable. A story that did not have to be told. If it wasn't for Liam Neeson, few would watch it. He is the only asset of this film, which is the reason his face is as big as the movie poster. It's an actor notoriety flick with no substance.
Take the number of characters, divide it by the number of minutes in the film and you'll have your action schedule. The formula is as follows: "Present a death. Travel to a different setting. Present the next death. Rinse, lather, repeat." Take the main character and the main villain and reserve them for the end of the movie. Give a meaningless task to a secondary character (collecting wallets), putting him second to last in the sequence of potential casualties. Proceed with murdering characters from the least to the most developed. Partially incapacitate each group member who is about to depart offering hints to events that are already beyond obvious.
There was absolutely nothing interesting about the film, and I feel saddened by the fact such a great actor would reduce himself to acting in made-for-TV class movies.
Would you watch the movie someone else played the main role? Would you even notice it? Would you pay money to watch Linden Ashby (or someone equally recognizable) portray Ottway?
Nevertheless, if you're into these kinds of flicks, I'd highly recommend Frank Marshall's "Alive". A much more engaging story based on actual events, which sadly rates lower on IMDb than this soulless production.
Suburban Knights (2011)
Expectations Met
You know what's hilarious about Doug's anniversary flicks? Everything! The fact that the production quality and acting ends up surpassing some of the high budget films he reviews.
I also find it funny that the same reviewers that accuse Doug for not being in the right mindset to review kids films also pick on his work that they're clearly not in the right mindset to see either.
I think the film is a wonderful accomplishment. You see these (That Guy With The Glasses) characters make fun of other people's work weekly, and once a year they come together to make fun of themselves. It just doesn't get any better than that.
When professional actors (such as Bruce Campbell) attempt self-parody, it looks silly and even sad. You can tell that they have exhausted themselves and are doing it almost out of desperation. When TGWTG team does it, you can tell they're having as much fun as the target audience.
The Nostalgia Critic (2007)
A Talented Individual
You want to know who Doug Walker is? He's an inspiration!
I first discovered him by accident in the early days of viral internet videos, before the whole youtube thing and long before the Nostalgia Critic character. I saw a clip of some guy quitting his General Motors factory job in style. I had no idea who the man was, but I knew that I respected him.
Years later I came across an entertaining and enthusiastic internet reviewer while following James D. Rolfe (better known as Angry Video Game Nerd). When Doug mentioned quitting GM in one of his interviews, I immediately recalled the viral clip and to my joy I found out that it was, indeed, the same man.
"Quit while you're ahead" the saying goes. That's Doug - he quit an identity-killing job out of self-respect. He chose to be himself and to work for himself! Today he not only produces the original show that made him famous (Nostalgia Critic), but also employs other like-minded individuals, helping them gain recognition in the online world.
Gantz (2010)
IMHO Better Than The Anime Version
The first thing I said having watched the anime was that it should've been a feature length show instead of the sluggishly paced 26 episodes.
The movie has greatly improved the story's presentation, eliminating empty filler material.
Production values were good as well as the casting choice and visuals. Instead of a niche product appealing to a very limited audience, the film was made into a decent sci-fi flick, preserving everything that made the story unique.
The characters had to be flattened to fit the format, but didn't suffer much due to having little depth to begin with. Each one of them simply represented "an approach" with some background revealed to explain motivation.
The core is still the same - random candidates find themselves in strange circumstances. They're given tools with no instructions and are expected to figure out quickly what to do. There's no room for error and the reward for passing a test is always a new test.
Gantz (2004)
Poor Stretched Out Plot Delivery
On a long enough timeline the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
That's Gantz in a nutshell - an endurance test. Throw people into a hostile environment and see how long they'd last. Examine whether cooperation, competition or isolation yield better result under extreme conditions.
Major complaint is that the series is too long for the amount of story it presents. Sure, most of what you see is filler material, but beneath the mush hide few original and clever ideas.
First off, the main protagonist is the opposite of the conventional hero. He's not transformed into one either. He starts from repulsive and transitions into a violently destructive individual without actually becoming a "hero".
Secondly, the series defies positive progression. Most characters brought into the plot die shortly after. If the knowledge gained about the mysterious Gantz device is not passed onto someone with better survival record, then the information is lost until someone else re-discovers it through experimentation.
The characters battle to establish structure among people refusing to accept anyone's authority. Since no one knows exactly what's going on, each theory presented by a random newcomer is equally valid. Temporary alliances form and break, but in the end there are no winners or losers.
I found myself enjoying the series more than I though I would due to its lack of predictability. As a viewer, you do end up sharing experience with the characters. To each problem multiple solutions are proposed, giving you a chance to pick sides and see how it all plays out.
Môsô dairinin (2004)
Examining Fragility of the Human Mind
To me the series examines the psychological breaking point - the line pass which an individual becomes violent to others and/or self-destructive. Essentially, most of the victims of the "Bat Boy" are casualties of their own impaired judgement resulting from a tragedy or isolation. Each one is fighting a personified and externalized demon - a battle in which rare few succeed.
The world portrayed in Paranoia Agent represents the warped reality of a temporarily deranged individual, unable to cope with stress and struggling to come to terms with reality.
Throughout the series, the detective following mysterious bat boy cases is trying to figure out what he's most afraid of and whether he's strong enough to face his own fears.
Paranoia Agent is the "happy place" people go to, when stressed out and the pain that it brings when the veil is inevitably lifted.