Change Your Image
saima_pyke
Reviews
The Ice Road (2021)
Hilarious
Some bad guys are so weak they die in moments, others so resilient you wonder if they are secretly a terminator. A hilariously sinister plot that doesn't hold up to any kind of scrutiny. A rescue plan that ignores all reality and Liam Neeson growling tough, Irish accented pronouncements. What's not to love? If you suspend reality the moment you see the opening credits and play a game of "spot the insanity" possibly while doing shots, you are going to LOVE this. Trucks, ice roads, dangers, escapes, death, mayhem, bad guys, good guys, who makes it out alive at the end? Not everyone! It's fantastic.
Brazen (2022)
So obvious they could have said whodunnit in the title
I watched this because I love a mystery but the only mystery here is why Alyssa Milano agreed to be in this movie. I'm going to surmise that the person who talked her into it is better with words than whoever wrote this script.
F9 (2021)
This film made me dumber
I watched this with my husband who is a Fast and Furious fan. At first I thought I must have missed some vitally important joke or piece of plot that explained why this was so terrible. He told me that,no, there was no explanation for this. It did make me laugh out loud quite a few times at the sheer stupidity, so I guess I could find one positive. Overall, it made me feel like I was dumber for having watched it. Like it had actively removed brain cells and caused bits of grey matter to atrophy and die. Please do not spend money on seeing this catastrophe. Please.
The Equalizer 2 (2018)
The point of The Equaliser is supposed to be Giving help to those in need
I was a big fan of the series and enjoyed the first Equaliser movie but this one goes off the rails. The concept of The Equaliser is a man with amazing skills helping those without. There are a few of those stories in this film but then it becomes an over the top revenge killing in an unrealistic setting and it isn't about being The Equaliser and seems to be more Rambo or John Wick, both excellent film franchises but not The Equaliser.
I Am Wrath (2016)
How not to make a movie
How did they manage to take two excellent actors like Travolta and Meloni and make such a trash film with them? It was logically inconsistent, the dialogue was trite and shallow, the plot was predictable where it wasn't utterly ridiculous and oh my GOD Travolta's hair piece was dreadful. I couldn't focus on the film most of the time because I was so distracted by how bad the hair was. The man is an acting legend, I thought the scene where he went to a barber shop was so he could start his revenge spree by killing the person who had done that to his head.
I can't believe anyone, let alone multiple people, rated this movie a ten. There is suspending disbelief and then there is just unbelievable, as in it's unbelievable that someone could make two great actors perform in this piece of rubbish.
If you like Travolta or Melosi please don't watch this dumpster fire of a movie.
The InBetween (2019)
Who cast this monstrosity?
I was really looking forward to this, I was a big fan of Medium and I even enjoyed Ghost Whisperer but whoo...this one is a stinker. I don't know who did the casting but it wasn't based on acting ability. It's hard to believe the supernatural elements when I can't even believe the natural elements. The conversations are forced and stilted, the relationships are trite and shallow and why do they all look like they came out of a 'made for TV' mould? If you liked Medium or Ghost Whisperer...walk away now before any comparison can sully your enjoyment of those shows.
The Hard Way (2019)
Let's throw all the cliches and see which ones stick
Poorly written, poorly directed, terrible acting by almost everyone and the most outrageous collection of cliches I have come across in quite a while. Sadly, it doesn't fall in the "it's so bad it's good" category. It's just bad.
Sierra Burgess Is a Loser (2018)
Cyrano de Bergerac rewritten for our times
This remake of Cyrano de Bergerac is brought into the 21st Century via text messages and social media but sadly, society has changed too much to make this a sympathetic movie. As a massive fan of the original 1890s story of an ugly man in love with a beautiful woman who uses a handsome friend as his 'front' I can absolutely see what the film makers were going for in the film but the actual interaction didn't make Sierra Burgess the sympathetic, lovelorn character of Cyrano. Indeed, even Cyrano would not have kissed his beloved without her consent or knowledge! There were many touching moments in this film and it brought back some pretty painful memories of my own teen years trying to be 'beautiful' in a world where it seemed that 'beautiful' was whatever I was not but as a romance and a tale of friendship it was a fail. There was so much potential in this film and it was disappointing to see it lost because the writers were remaking something from another era instead of creating something new and fresh.
Alexander (2004)
Alexander, a good idea poorly executed
Alexander had the potential to be one of those sensational epics that explore the nature of a renowned historical figure. Instead it was a mishmash of accents, bad wigs & time jumps which left the audience saying "wtf?" OK so Hephaistion was pretty hot, and Angelina Jolie at least made the effort to sound Greek, but we have no idea why Val Kilmer felt that King Phillip needed to be Scottish for this one - was it just an easier accent than Greek? Or was it so he sounded more like the rest of the apparently Irish/Scottish/English "Macedonian" army? I swear one of these men said "Aye" with a decidedly Scottish brogue in the middle of an important speech and said he wanted to go "Haeme" (Or Home, for those of us who aren't from the Northern portion of the United Kingdom). It seemed very much that huge and important chunks of the Alexander story were jumped over and the film relied heavily on historical knowledge that some people just don't have to fill the gaps. On the up side, I think the way Alexander's relationship with his friend Hephaiston was handled did not warrant the public uproar that it received. What is more, some of the sets were truly beautiful, particularly Babylon, and it was great to have something so lovely to look at while trying to figure out what was going on and whether Alexander was secretly Irish. Our recommendation - don't see Alexander unless you like watching long, apparently pointless, battle scenes with motivational speeches that make you wonder when Alexander is just going to come out with "They may take our lives, but they'll never take our FREEDOOOMMMM!"