Movies I Will Never Watch Again

I think that The Girl Next Door is an incredibly important movie in that it doesn't allow Hollywood sensibilities to overly dilute the very real and terrible fate suffered by its inspiration, Sylvia Likens. Of course, the retelling doesn't nearly compare to what Likens must truly have experienced, but the harrowing and merciless depiction of abuse and torture is more than enough to make for deeply unpleasant viewing that I have no intention of enduring twice.

The debate on whether Martyrs is a philosophical master stroke or just more braindead torture porn makes no odds in regards to how completely depraved the movie is. There is nothing plausible that will make me watch the second half of it again.

There aren't enough tears left in my body.

Eraserhead is similar to Martyrs in terms of philosophical resonance for me. While some people comprehend a biting artistic commentary on the weight of responsibility and parenthood, others see a battle of endurance filled with non-sensical imagery and faux art. I, sadly, fall into the latter.

Most criticisms of Irreversible tend to settle into one of two camps; one which claims the first half is nauseating and gratuitous, and another which argues that the second is too tame in comparison. I stand in a weird middle ground where I recognise this movie is truly unsettling but think the imbalance between the two halves only makes what happens to Alex even more dreadful.

I could gush for hours about how good I think Irreversible is, how much it absorbed me and how long I couldn't get it out of my head after watching it, but were I to think practically I'd say a second viewing of one of the most horrific assaults ever captured on screen probably isn't good for my health.

The first movie on the list that I'm including purely for being an absolute crock of shit. I love the teen slasher sub-genre but Romina is the absolute bottom of the barrel, which is a real accolade considering the cesspit of mediocrity accompanying it.

The characters are wholly unlikeable, the motivations are flimsy, the twist is completely nonplussing and I mourn the 77 minutes I spent watching it. It doesn't even make up for its loathsome existence with any good gore. Fuck this movie.