1/10
terrifyingly bad movie
20 February 2002
I have and will be a fan of bad movies. A bad movie can have a kitchness, grace, and humour all its own. Producers, and actors do things in bad movies they wouldn't do elsewhere. Plots go places normal movies fear to tread. It all makes for a good time.

This is not one of those bad movies.

This is a real honest to goodness, Pol Pot kind of bad movie. I say this primarily because this is not a movie that tried to do well on a tight budget or to some odd notion of what constituted entertainment. It is simply a sloppy piece of makework. Every single area of expertise in film-making is neglected.

The script takes derivative segments from a host of good movies and inexplicably fails to deliver anything that made them good in the first place. Nor are these derivations satirical or funny. The acting is so bad that even the killer robot is unconvincing - something I found suprising since the other actors were so robotically wooden. The props department spent their entire budget on a single handgun and a paper-mache foetus in a jar, something evident through the film by the gun's inexplicably reappearance. The sound fades in and out, which probably the fault of the amateur sound team who let the overhead boom into shot twice.

All in all, the primary emotion I felt while watching the supposedly gripping trials and tribulations of the heroic duo was a restless queasiness, and the urge to bolt from my chair and run shrieking into the night. On only two occasions did humour struggle into the film, the first as a consequence of the robot's infrared vision which is perfectly normal vision where certain objects have been painted bright red. The second is when the prop gun spends an entire scene floating in water next to the actors.

Without a shadow of a doubt this is the worst movie I have ever seen. Do not trust anyone who tells you to watch this movie, they are attempting to do you a psychic injury.
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