Review of Spiders

Spiders (2000)
6/10
Despite shortcomings, it's energetic "big bug movie" fun
10 October 2001
Man, people here on IMDb and Amazon.com have been cruel to this film. Granted, it's got major flaws and lame dialogue ("That thing is a killing machine!!"), but it's far from a complete failure. Is it a great film? NO. Was I entertained? YES, and quite a bit more than I expected to be. When you have so many horrid horror/sci-fi films getting more attention (the fact that Mick Martin's Video Guide gave Leprechaun 4 In Space three out of four stars shows that ERROR in judgment can exist), just because Spiders could have improved itself doesn't mean it should be easily dismissed.

Yes, it has a story that could easily have been carefully edited to make a two-part X-Files episode, the dialogue was poor, and frankly, Marci's friends weren't sorely missed later because I couldn't stand hearing them call each other "Dude" all the time. Some of the smaller spiders were pretty lousy too. HOWEVER, the CGI effects were no worse than most of the praised syndicated sci-fi series on TV, and the KNB effects were quite gruesome.

Linking the story with possible actual aliens in the beginning was a nice touch, and the entire film kept a nice, energetic pacing that never lagged for a minute. There was a lot of running around in sub-basements, but the cobwebbed darkened corridors were a bit creepy. Two scenes stand out remarkably well: the elevator shaft scene and when one giant spider bursts through a college campus building. The quick editing kept that campus scene going well, and those watching Spiders on DVD will definitely find themselves hitting slow-motion on the remote when the spider tears open a police car. I showed that sequence to an expert on 1950s "big bug" movies, and he was actually impressed by the effort put into it.

It's true that the makers of Spiders could have fine-tuned this film, but with its obvious budget limitations I think it fared well. It has the creepiness of the 1988 classic The Nest and the sense of homage and whimsy of the underrated 1987 film Blue Monkey. Those films were better, but this one has that essence and isn't a waste of time to watch. This is kind of like one of those B-grade monster movies from the 1950s and 60s, with a bit more cussing. The bad guys are obviously bad and get what they deserve, and the good guys make it out fine. Spiders is one that I could watch repeated viewings of and even has the kind of silly "hero about to destroy the monster" delivery line that some day will make it into a montage of lines--you know the kind: "Eat this/Suck on this, you A) F'er , B) B*tch " and then the missile or rocket is fired into the gaping maw of the creature.

You're given the idea at the end that all's well that ends well, but remember, the secret military base still has a bunch of cocooned bodies, and with what the spiders did to them , well.........

Don't brush this film off entirely until you see that there are so many worse Hollywood big budget teen flicks that exist. Take this one with a grain of salt and you'll find it's a kicker indeed!
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