(Contains really minor spoilers)
There are two vampire movies that I would describe as masterpieces. The first one is Bram Stoker's Dracula, from Coppola, and the second one is The Vampire Chronicles, from Neil Jordan. But I'd like you to pay a particular attention to the second title I mentioned...It is written by a woman named Anne Rice.
Now, the point I'm trying to make is the following: Knowing that Queen of The Damned is an adaptation of an Anne Rice novel, just like Vampire Chronicles was, there was some kind of...how could I say that...very high expectations around this film. Well, let's simply say I was deceived in every way.
Now, if I was such an evil and mean guy, I would compare both films based on Anne Rice's novels....but Queen of The Damned is so awful, if I compared it to a masterpiece like Vampire Chronicles, it would be like comparing Stanley Kubrick and Ed Wood...
But, when I think about it, I'm not such a nice guy, and this film really deserves a bash!
Where do I start, because every point of the film is a flaw? But, I'll have to start with something, so let's go with the acting. With a protagonist that is as spooky as a stupid eleven year-old kid with a vampire costume on Halloween night. He really sucks. Trying to look like a goth with his leather pants and transparent shirt...wow! You only look like a fashion show robot! That's the image of American goths...wannabes! And thanks for keeping it alive, you idiot! I just can't believe this guy and Tom Cruise are supposed to play the same role! What a shame! And there's Aaliyah...who plays the least sensual and scary vampire I've seen in a long time. She also has a very limited talent in this film. There is Vincent Perez, who has a very cheap role, and whose performance is consequently ruined.
The directing has nothing impressive, it is very basic, it doesn't create any mood (now I'd like SOOOOO much to compare it to Neil Jordan's film!!!!!), and it is the most simple thing you can see, it still shows how lazy some Hollywood directors get for summer or blockbuster movies. As much as Neil Jordan's film is moody, intense, beautiful, well shot, well acted, interesting, somptuous, and great, as much Queen of The Damned is a pure piece of scum!
And, even though that may sound bizarre, there's the vampires. You know, in movies, there are several kinds of vampires: there are primitive, aggressive, black-blooded vampires (see John Carpenter's Vampires), there's classy vampires (Bram Stoker's Dracula and Vampire Chronicles), funny vampires (Fearless Vampire Killers, and the parody with Leslie Nielsen), classic vampires (Nosferatu, earlier versions of Dracula), and high-tech and criminal vampires (see Blade and Blade 2), disgusting vampires (From Dusk Till Dawn trilogy)...and, now, I'd like to add a new breed in the list, especially designed to describe the blood thirsty creatures in this movie: cheap vampires! They don't have the charm of classy vampires, they don't have the jokes of funny vampires, they don't have the make up of the disgusting vampires, they don't have the velocity and ferocity of aggressive and strong vampires....they simply got nothing! NOTHING!
Another element that some might find meaningless, but that I think is important in this kind of film, especially when everything else is bad...the gore! NONE!!! NONE NONE NONE! No gore! One brief decapitation, and that's it! That's it! Really deceiving. Even the best
The scenario is not that bad, but it is served on a plate that would completely ruin any good script.
So, I know my review is pretty short, but there is not much to say about an empty film. Again, this is today's version of vampire flicks...and it smells a lot like MTV crap. Now, I simply imagine the director crying because he got a big R rating for his movie...I'm sure this was meant to be rated PG-13...but now Michael Rymer can go cry with his friends Paul Anderson (Another kick in the face of your Resident Evil!) and Renny Harlin (the arm being ripped out in Deep Blue Sea was too much...Renny!) who live in the desperate world of harder selling main stream scum, because of the very mean MPAA who refused to give them a PG-13 rating when they truly deserved one. The only thing I can do is laugh at these guys...ha ha ha!
Awful film...I give it 2/10.
There are two vampire movies that I would describe as masterpieces. The first one is Bram Stoker's Dracula, from Coppola, and the second one is The Vampire Chronicles, from Neil Jordan. But I'd like you to pay a particular attention to the second title I mentioned...It is written by a woman named Anne Rice.
Now, the point I'm trying to make is the following: Knowing that Queen of The Damned is an adaptation of an Anne Rice novel, just like Vampire Chronicles was, there was some kind of...how could I say that...very high expectations around this film. Well, let's simply say I was deceived in every way.
Now, if I was such an evil and mean guy, I would compare both films based on Anne Rice's novels....but Queen of The Damned is so awful, if I compared it to a masterpiece like Vampire Chronicles, it would be like comparing Stanley Kubrick and Ed Wood...
But, when I think about it, I'm not such a nice guy, and this film really deserves a bash!
Where do I start, because every point of the film is a flaw? But, I'll have to start with something, so let's go with the acting. With a protagonist that is as spooky as a stupid eleven year-old kid with a vampire costume on Halloween night. He really sucks. Trying to look like a goth with his leather pants and transparent shirt...wow! You only look like a fashion show robot! That's the image of American goths...wannabes! And thanks for keeping it alive, you idiot! I just can't believe this guy and Tom Cruise are supposed to play the same role! What a shame! And there's Aaliyah...who plays the least sensual and scary vampire I've seen in a long time. She also has a very limited talent in this film. There is Vincent Perez, who has a very cheap role, and whose performance is consequently ruined.
The directing has nothing impressive, it is very basic, it doesn't create any mood (now I'd like SOOOOO much to compare it to Neil Jordan's film!!!!!), and it is the most simple thing you can see, it still shows how lazy some Hollywood directors get for summer or blockbuster movies. As much as Neil Jordan's film is moody, intense, beautiful, well shot, well acted, interesting, somptuous, and great, as much Queen of The Damned is a pure piece of scum!
And, even though that may sound bizarre, there's the vampires. You know, in movies, there are several kinds of vampires: there are primitive, aggressive, black-blooded vampires (see John Carpenter's Vampires), there's classy vampires (Bram Stoker's Dracula and Vampire Chronicles), funny vampires (Fearless Vampire Killers, and the parody with Leslie Nielsen), classic vampires (Nosferatu, earlier versions of Dracula), and high-tech and criminal vampires (see Blade and Blade 2), disgusting vampires (From Dusk Till Dawn trilogy)...and, now, I'd like to add a new breed in the list, especially designed to describe the blood thirsty creatures in this movie: cheap vampires! They don't have the charm of classy vampires, they don't have the jokes of funny vampires, they don't have the make up of the disgusting vampires, they don't have the velocity and ferocity of aggressive and strong vampires....they simply got nothing! NOTHING!
Another element that some might find meaningless, but that I think is important in this kind of film, especially when everything else is bad...the gore! NONE!!! NONE NONE NONE! No gore! One brief decapitation, and that's it! That's it! Really deceiving. Even the best
The scenario is not that bad, but it is served on a plate that would completely ruin any good script.
So, I know my review is pretty short, but there is not much to say about an empty film. Again, this is today's version of vampire flicks...and it smells a lot like MTV crap. Now, I simply imagine the director crying because he got a big R rating for his movie...I'm sure this was meant to be rated PG-13...but now Michael Rymer can go cry with his friends Paul Anderson (Another kick in the face of your Resident Evil!) and Renny Harlin (the arm being ripped out in Deep Blue Sea was too much...Renny!) who live in the desperate world of harder selling main stream scum, because of the very mean MPAA who refused to give them a PG-13 rating when they truly deserved one. The only thing I can do is laugh at these guys...ha ha ha!
Awful film...I give it 2/10.