3/10
Ho-hum story full of religious dogma and ridiculous characters
21 October 2002
I have to confess my nieveness with regard to this movie. I had never heard of veggie tales, and didn't know that the whole series contains religious messages. So, if you're into such messages, stop reading now!

This movie made me uncomfortable. I took my kids to it on a rainy Saturday when there was no other G-rated flick available. The production was fine, but I've never gone to the multiplex and experienced that dreadful feeling of being in church. It was strange, and to me embarrassing, to be preached to at the movies. And this film dishes it out too - it tells the tale of Jonah, etc., with all the gloom and doom of the biblical text - it's just camouflaged in a cartoon and cleaned up for the kiddies. For example, instead of drawing lots to determine who's responsible for making god mad, the characters play "go fish" in the middle of The Perfect Storm. It was like Veggie-Twilight-bible-zone. It also makes no attempt to go beyond the trite and trivial retelling of Jonah, the pirates, and the whale. And it takes dreadfully long time to get through the whole mess. Probably the sloppiest part was upon his entry into Ninevah, every native was slapping or being slapped with a fish. Ridiculous throughout.

I suppose that if you can handle the preposterous veggie tales concept and a bland retelling of Jonah, then perhaps this movie may be interesting for you. Indeed, there were other viewers around us who seemed to find some value in it and somehow thought it to be new and worthwhile. They were laughing at all the programmed places and commenting at how cute it all was. No offense intended here, but I don't subscribe to such routine and this movie was a big waste of time. My kids were bored with it too.

Despite my distaste for the religious, I'd have enjoyed the movie had there been even a hint of talent in the writing. Everything was flat and uninspiring. Nothing was done to the story to make it less pointless than the original, no attempt was made to provide any character with substance, and lots of time was spent in the traditional manner trying to create meaning from a fable. In contrast, John Lassiter and his crew have shown that an animated feature can have depth, significance at every level, and technical competence, and be a big hit. This movie had none of those things.

I'll be back to the movies soon, but next time, hold the asparagus!
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