I, Robot (2004)
3/10
Ugh.
3 August 2004
"I, robot" is loosely based on Asimov's sci-fi universe. I've never been a big fan of Asimov (Phillip K. Dick kicks his ass), but from the little snippets of interviews I caught (and good old Asimov's daughter quoted on the posters stating that the movie was faithful to her fathers vision) I was expecting, I dunno, an Asimov adaptation.

On the other hand, while it does use the 3 laws of robotics as a basis for the plot, the movie is pretty far from being a Frankenstein-like meditation on current technology, even while it rather ineptly references Frankenstein during the dialogue. It's actually something resembling a cross between a film-noir and a Will Smith vehicle. Unfortunately, it's more Smith than noir.

Crammed with terrible, terrible expository dialogue and some of the lamest jokes I've ever heard (we're talking about Akiva Goldsman here; mr. Freeze, anyone?), the movie takes too long to say too little and makes twists that are so predictable that I stared in disbelief at how much of the plot I was able to foresee. The final fight, including more Will Smith one-liners surrounded by another one of those "epic" battles that just have too much CGI to impress anyone, is painful to sit through.

I am sorry, but this movie sucks badly.
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