Constantine (2005)
2/10
So much effort for so little
22 February 2005
How could so much money be spent creating something this joyless? If you like your blockbusters glum, humorless and numbing, then by all means, get in line to see this Gothic mess. All others steer clear.

First of all, this film has the most one-dimensionally pessimistic character in the history of Hollywood movies. Keanu Reeves literally doesn't crack a smile once, from beginning to end. He's not "conflicted." Or "world-weary." He's just a complete sourpuss with no redeeming qualities. He seems to have a vauge contempt for even his leading lady. I mean, there are plenty of "dark" characters in successful studio films (Batman, Sam Malone, even Indiana Jones), but this is ridiculous.

Strangely enough, the film is quite artful, even lovely to look at at times. Great special effects. Some truly excellent supporting performances (particularly Tilda Swinton and the great Peter Stormare as one of the weirdest Satans ever). Some remarkably skilled camera-work, and a truly creepy ambiance. But all of this is in service of creating one of the dullest, most unengaging films ever made.

Ah, well, I guess we have Batman to look forward to.
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