3/10
Avoid at all costs! Don't let the trailer fool you! -- 3 (Really bad)
17 March 2005
I saw the trailer for THE MONKEY KING on videocassette three years ago and have been meaning to rent this movie ever since. Though the first ten minutes reveal an interesting concept, the next thirty minutes or so are terrible, at which point you are free to hit the stop button. I was planning to write about the TV-Esq low quality production of this movie, but once realizing that this was originally for TV, I thought of something else to talk about. No, even if I found this "film" on TV, I would definitely not tune in for another episode.

After watching the trailer, which is of course all in voice-over narration, I had assumed that THE MONKEY KING was an extravagant high-wire Hong Kong circus act. Popping in the DVD, I was hoping to see extravagantly costumed characters flying through the air and doing wild martial arts. "Maybe it's like an extremely silly Once Upon a Time in China," I thought, "where the Monkey King spits streams of blood and the pig man makes a million golden rings appear out of nowhere!"

I was heartbroken when the Monkey King, played by Russel Wong, appears on screen and speaks perfect taxi-driver English. Nope, the whole movie is in English, there's not a trace of any Asian language or authentic culture, and obviously no one from the Hong Kong movie industry was involved in this production. It's more a parody of Asian folklore than anything else, and all the props are made of cardboard. The martial arts and dialog are both ridiculous (there are more moves and more coherent dialog in a Jane Fonda aerobics video), and I couldn't help from cutting THE MONKEY KING halfway short. It was unbearable.

I think the movie was originally aiming at a Neverending Story type fantasy, where all the Chinese stuff would add "extra value" to the fantasy -- kind of like a paper umbrella or a fortune cookie. The production for this movie is at the same abysmal level as those bleak British dramas broadcast on PBS. The MONKEY KING's sets, special effects, costumes, and dialog would make for a very nice Sunday flea market but definitely not a two hour production. Instead of watching THE MONKEY KING, I highly recommend searching for a four hour made-for-TV Alice in Wonderland which featured Sammy Davis Junior as the Catepillar and Scott Baio as a cat, as well as a myriad other 80's TV stars. That was cheap production, but it was cheap production done well with care. I don't know if it's on DVD, but I highly recommend that if you're looking for fantasy with lots of color.

Oh, and if you're looking for cool martial arts, you're better off visiting your local day care center when the kids miss nap-time.

Avoid the MONKEY KING at all costs. It really shouldn't be commercially available and is only a sneaky, albeit clever, ploy to lure video rental customers who are into the Hong Kong high-wire genre.

JY

Jimboduck-dot-com
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