Review of Nadja

Nadja (1994)
2/10
"Blood is like chewing gum to these creatures." Absolutely awful & no there's nothing wrong with your TV it's meant to look like that.
29 October 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Nadja starts in New York one night as a Vampire named Nadja (Elina Lowensohn) talks to a man (Nic Ratner) in a bar & explains that she & her slave Renfield (Karl Geary) have travelled to New York from her homeland of Transylvania because her Father Count Dracula (Peter Fonda) is dead & that it is hard to find good food in New York after 10 O'Clock. Shortly after in a car Nadja drinks his blood. Meanwhile Van Helsing (Peter Fonda again) is tracking Nadja down with the intention of killing her & he enlists the help of his friend Jim (Martin Donovan) to aide him. Jim's wife Lucy (Galaxy Craze, yeah right that has to be a false name) has met Nadja & taken her back to her apartment where Nadja & Lucy engage in a bit of lesbianism & blood drinking. Van Helsing & Jim become aware that Lucy is under the control of Nadja & in another bizarre coincidence Van Helsing's Sister Cassandra (Suzy Amis) is looking after Nadja's ill Brother Edgar (Jared Harris) who Nadja intends to visit, both Van Helsing's & Jim's desperation to kill Nadja becomes even greater as the people they care for the most are in danger because of Nadja's blood drinking activities...

Written & directed by Michael Almereyda I hated just about every second of this supposed film. The script is slow & boring, nothing memorable really happens & is a bit of a chore to sit through. There are only a few character's in the film & I didn't care one bit for any of them, I've heard of minimalist but this is just ridiculous. As a whole Nadja doesn't make a lot of sense & just didn't grip, engage or entertain me in any way whatsoever. So the story & character's are crap can the film deliver in other areas, well no because Nadja is one of the worst looking films I've sat through. If black and white is your thing then fine & I have no problem watching black and white films but Nadja just looks so dark, bland & uninteresting. Then there's the shots which look like they were shot on a faulty camcorder, I'm sorry but they are incredibly annoying as the screen becomes an absolute mess of pixelation & blocks. To add insult to injury director Almereyda uses various irritating techniques to try & convince the viewer that their watching 'art' like soft focus, blurring, slow motion, shots where the background action runs at a different speed to the foreground, jerkiness, skipping frames & bizarre scene transitions. I hated how Nadja looks & was literary praying it would finish within the first 30 minutes but never let it be said I don't give a film a chance & I (just about) stuck it out to the end which was also crap. With a pretty reasonable budget of about $1,000,000 Nadja is a poor show, very few character's, no effects & a cheap feel throughout & I have to ask myself where all the money went exactly. There is no atmosphere, scares or tension & while I accept some people may like this black and white art-house nonsense I don't & that's all that matters to me, I simply cannot see how anyone could gain any sort of viewing pleasure from such a film as this & I certainly didn't. There is not one single aspect of Nadja that I can say I enjoyed apart from the central performance by Romanian actress Lowensohn who makes for a striking & seductive female Vampire. Fonda just looks stupid sporting long hair & reflective shades. Forget about any special effects or any proper blood or gore. If you like this sort of bizarre boring, black and white art-house stuff then Nadja is probably right up your street so I can recommend it to you but if your looking for a proper film with decent horror & an actual story then avoid this piece of crap like the plague, that's just my opinion & I'm sure there is an audience out there for a film like Nadja but it's not for me.
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