5/10
Always wear Black
25 December 2005
**SPOILERS** Not being up to take over and run his father's vast real-estate and business empire 19 year-old Jack Lyne, Jonathan Penner, is shocked to find out that his widowed mom Helen, Jacqueline Bisset,is planning to marry his hated and sleazy Uncle Carl,Jamey Sheridan.

Doing nothing but getting smashed, with booze drugs and fists, Jack drops into one of his father's bars. While getting a load off his mind in the restroom Jack hears someone, on the other side of the stall, tell him that it was his Uncle Carl who really did his father in and made it look like a heart attack.

Running out and checking everyones shoes, thats the only way he can identify the person who gave him the shocking news, Jack is beat up and thrown out by the bartender and a number of outraged customers. it seems obvious from the make of the shoes that the person who told Jack about his Uncle Carl's treachery is non-other then the family lawyer and his late dad's good friend Sol Hirsh, Philip Baker Hall.

At a party at Hirsh's place that night, after having some hot action with Hirsh's unstable and dog food eating daughter Julie (Mary-Louise Parker), Jack again sees written on a mirror, obviously by Sol, that Carl murdered his father and "what is he waiting for"! It turns out that Carl is also at the party and so is Jack's mother where their to announce their upcoming engagement and marriage.

Jack who's recovering from a sever mental breakdown want's to stop the marriage but doesn't feel that killing Carl is worth spending is entire life behind bars. On the other hand Carl,in having Jack murdered, does and is not at all planning to pay the price of his freedom for killing him and plans to make Jack's death look like an accident or robbery.

The movie is a jumble of mistakes with Carl having these two creeps Bradbury & Brautigan,Randell Batikoff & Norma Needus, plan to whack Jack but things get a little complicated when Julie joins in. Jack calling for a cab to take Julie home with Brautigan's cell phone dials Sol's home and get's Uncle Carl instead. Not waiting for Jack to say anything and thinking that it's Brautigan, his cell phone number came up on the caller I.D, who's calling Carl tells Jack to whack Julie as well as himself. This tips Jack off that the two are not at all interested in Mexican food, which they were supposed to pick up, but are hired by Uncle Carl to put a bullet in his head.

It turns out that Jack's fathers good friend and what seems to be his Guardian Angel Satch, Jonathan Banks, had these two crooked cops, Tony & Lobo, come to Jack's rescue knocking off both Bardbury & Brautigan before they could do Jack in. Later somehow, it's never explained in the movie, they seemed to have knocked off Julie even though she earlier left the car and the two would-be killers never as much as got out of their car seats?

Carl now greatly impressed with Jack ability to keep from getting killed by his hoods plans to get him in his friend's, and co-conspirator, Bruce, Maury Chaykin, "Pleasure Dome" nightclub to talk things over a few drinks. Setting Jack up with a spiked bottle of champaign and a hit-man ,Jeff Bowser, if he felt like staying off the sauce that evening. As usual like everything else in the movie things get screwed up when Helen shows up, dressed all in black, for the party.

Slow and boring movie that has to do with a number of off-the-wall characters who by the time it's over Jack is left dying and Carl and Jack's mother Helen who were supposed to be married are instead to be buried in the now very crowded Lyne family plot.
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