Lust Connection (2005 TV Movie)
7/10
Not the best film ever, but if you like boobs, there are plenty to see here. I give it a B.
14 July 2006
Warning: Spoilers
If it isn't Fred Olen Ray pumping out the bikini movies, it's Jim Wynorski giving us boobs on display. This is why I enjoy both of these guys' work. They have an audience, and they know how to serve it. "Lust Connection" is one of those movies. Using the same sets as "The Witches Of Breastwick" (same boardroom, most of the same actors, same house....it even uses the same hot tub Monique Parent had her three-way in), Jim gives us what we want--big boobs on the cheap.

We begin with Rick (Frank Harper), a millionaire who made his money on the internet, and his trophy wife Susan (Glori-Anne Gilbert with her usual dyed blonde hairdo). Why do I say trophy wife? I don't know too many women who go to the grocery store on Wednesdays wearing a tight black top, jungle-print miniskirt and stripper heels. Anyway, Susan gives Rick just what she thinks he wants--a doting wife who has sex with him often--very often. A few minutes into the movie, Susan gets killed while having fun by herself in the hot tub. It was amusing watching Susan stretched out in the tub after she was killed, breasts floating above the water.

Enter Jenny, Susan's twin sister (also played by Glori-Anne Gilbert, only with dark curly hair). She's there to console her brother-in-law, who has been named the prime suspect in his wife's murder. The cop on the case, Detective Blake (B-movie veteran Jay Richardson) asks very probing questions to Rick about his whereabouts at the time Susan was killed. Over the next hour or so of the movie, he spills the beans about his various affairs with women he met while cruising the internet chat rooms.

This is where the storyline stops for a moment so we can bask in the glory of Julie K. Smith's breasts. They are so out of proportion to her body--they're amazing. She plays Sasha, the first of Rick's many flings. While Susan is out getting groceries, Sasha is getting ready to get busy with Rick--and makes Rick think of melons in the process. Hey, he's not the only one. After that, it's Jodie Moore, the Australian hottie with an exercise fetish--or at least she likes to have sex while exercising. What surprised me the most was the inclusion of Avy Scott and Chasey Lain--two very well-known porn stars. They didn't have to mess around with any silly acting--just say a few lines and get naked. Monique Parent was also in there, but her scene seemed like a "Witches Of Breastwick" outtake than anything else. It was nice to see her, though. There was also a scene with Rick having sex while blindfolded, and he didn't get the chance to see that it was Jenny he was having sex with. At this point, the movie basically gave away the ending.

Now, back to the story. Who did it? Well, since the various women Rick was sleeping with hadn't even met Susan, that leaves only two options. Either Rick did it or Jenny did it. Since Rick spent the better part of 70 minutes trying to prove he didn't do it, that leaves the obvious--Jenny did it. She's so in love with Rick that she was willing to kill her own sister to have him all to herself.

This movie had a great female cast, and the sex scenes weren't that bad. The story--well, let's be frank here. This movie was only 77 minutes long, which doesn't leave much time for storytelling when so many sex scenes have to be packed in there. At least the film ended like a "mystery thriller" should, so I won't take too many points off. I consider it borderline tapeworthy if you like any of the women involved.

Women: A (Let's see--Glori-Anne Gilbert, Julie Smith, Avy Scott, Jodie Moore, Chasey Lain, and Monique Parent--if only for a short time in a scene with no dialogue. Impressive casting here, that's all I can say.)

Sex: B (Solid sex scenes. I liked Julie's sex scene, and Avy's as well. The others were alright. Glori-Anne had three sex scenes in this film--four if you count the solo scene.)

Story: C (There wasn't a whole lot there to begin with, so it shouldn't surprise anyone that I would give this movie a low grade in this category. However, it followed the mystery thriller playbook fairly well and didn't end too cheesy--even if everyone knew how it would end 25 minutes before it actually happened. I'll give it a C here, but it's one of those "I don't want to see you anymore, so I'm passing you" kind of C's. This wasn't one of Jim Wynorski's better films, but maybe it's because he stretched himself too thin--being producer, writer, director, and Glori-Anne's assistant must've been lots of work. Then again, Glori-Anne played two roles and had time to be Best Girl. It's all in the credits, folks. I usually don't pay attention, but I thought they were funny this time.)

Overall: B (This movie gets a B on the strength of impressive casting and decent sex scenes. It probably deserves a B- or maybe even a C+, but Julie K. Smith's huge boobs can't be denied, folks. This is probably the weakest movie I've ever given a B to, but I'm a sucker for big boobs, and there were plenty of them on display here.)
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