Mr. No Legs (1978)
7/10
"Of all the nice places in town why'd you bring me down here?" One of a kind...
17 July 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Mr. No Legs tells the tale of crime kingpin & drug lord D'Angelo (Lloyd Bochner) who has the hard as nails Mr. No Legs (Ron Slinker) as his bodyguard & as a gangland 'enforcer' who shoots first & doesn't bother to ask questions later. It's Mr. No Legs job to keep D'Angelo's drug business running smoothly so when one of his drug pushers Ken Wilson accidentally kills his girlfriend Tina when she discovers a load of D'Angelo's heroin in his apartment Mr. No Legs decides to just kill Ken as well & dump both of their bodies. Unfortunately Mr. No Legs didn't count on the fact that Tina's Brother Andy (Ted Vollrath) is in fact a cop with the local department, Andy & his partner Chuck (Richard Jaeckel) set about discovering Tina's killer & that means getting close to D'Angelo's drug operations which Mr. No Legs isn't happy about & believe me you don't want to make Mr. No Legs angry as I doubt you would like him when he's angry...

Directed by Ricou Browning (probably best 'remembered' as the creature from The Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954), how do you go from being a monster in a classic horror to making an obscure film like Mr. No Legs?) & also known as The Amazing Mr. No Legs here in the UK this is one unique film that doesn't quite hit the giddy heights that it could have but none-the-less provides a certain fascination & entertainment value. The script by Jack Cowden plays the material 100% straight, is a bit on the slow side during the first 40 odd minutes & has very little of interest apart from the main title character Mr. No Legs, for most of it's duration Mr. No Legs is a standard implausible 70's cop film (in fact you could say the story doesn't have a leg to stand on, ha, ha, ha) about busting up a drug business with little to recommend it except that for some bizarre reason some absolute genius thought it would be a good idea to have a man with no legs to be the films main bad guy, he has shotguns in the arms of his wheelchair, throwing stars & retractable blades. I've never seen anything quite like it that's for sure. Unfortunately Mr. No Legs isn't actually in the film that much, he dies at least 20 minutes before the end & he only has one proper fight scene which comes as a disappointment. I don't know why but I always thought Mr. No Legs would be the hero, you know fighting against all the odds & defeating all the bad guys in his fully equipped wheelchair & when he turned out to be the bad guy I was a bit surprised as I think the film would have worked better with him as someone to root for.

Director Browning was obviously working on a low budget & the infrequent action scenes vary, some are very good & well choreographed while other's are slow & sluggish. I must mention the pretty cool car chase at the end which lasts for the whole final 15 minutes, Browning probably didn't have much to work with but he sure tried to put as much action on screen as he could. My favourite scene in the film is when Mr. No Legs is facing up to someone who wants to kill him, Mr. No Legs climbs out of his chair & puts his fists up to the guy even though without legs Mr. No Legs doesn't reach past his waist! There are several other priceless, strange, funny & bizarre moments in the film but not really enough.

Technically the film is a bit rough around the edges, it's reasonably well made but it isn't going to win any awards with bland music, cinematography & production design. The acting is pretty poor, there are lots of dodgy hair-dos & moustaches while the actor who plays Chuck the cop is a William Shatner look-a-like.

Mr. No Legs seems to be a pretty obscure & hard to find film which to be brutally honest is no great loss to the world, harsh but true. There are some neat car stunts, a few nice fight scenes & some truly memorable sequences featuring Mr. No Legs as the toughest & meanest guy in the film even though he hasn't any legs. I'm not sure whether to give it a 6 or 7, I think I'll give it 7 just because I genuinely think the filmmakers tried & it's generally good fun.
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