Ever since 6th sense, I was a peculiar type of Shyamalan fan. The sense was terrific, one of the best movies I've seen. Unbreakable was, meh, enjoyable. The Signs were stupid, but there I was, defending it, because I liked the atmosphere and it's overall message was kind of nice. The Village, bashed by almost everyone, actually appealed to me. I defended it hither and tother whenever anybody attacked it as being silly and convoluted and disappointing.
But now Shyamalan, oh my.. now you've done it.
"Lady in Water" is kind of a fairy tale. I say "kind of" because even fairy tales have some bit of logic and consistency in them and they are usually about stuff you can agree with, like witches, dragons and whatnot. "Lady in Water" doesn't have any logic or consistency, and deals with stuff like watery beings which are not human but actually are, with wolves made out of grass and monkeys made out of branches and let's not forget the all-time crowd pleaser, mr. giant eagle. It makes up rules and situations and drawn-out explanations as to how this things relate to each other. The rules get changed every second minute or so, and some new stuff is added, but it's all OK since A)it is all explained buy an old Korean lady and B)it involves some exotic words like "Tatutik" and.... I dunno, like I'm gonna bother remembering some crappy made up words.
So anyway, there's this apartment complex, see, and a watery nymph or something must get out of the pool to serve as a muse for some writer (Shymalan himself) who will write The Most Important Book In The World, also known as "Cookbook". But some grassy wolves want to kill her. Or not, since there are some rules. But this actual one will, because he's a rogue grassy wolf and he doesn't care about the rules. He's the Dirty Harry amongst grassy wolves. But wait, things are not as simple as they seem. Apparently, this particular nymph is not just A nymph, but a special type of supernymph or something, and being a supernymph gets you nice little perks like being attacked by grassy wolves even when they shouldn't. Luckily there are branch monkey to sort things out, occasionally. These monkeys maybe exist, maybe not, because, you see, no one has ever seen them. Unlike grassy wolves and supernymphs, which pop up all the time and are pretty common stuff I guess.
Following all this? Hey, wake up!! Well then. Moving along. A stuttery janitor helps the muse by searching for the writer. But that's just level 1. For his next task he must find the Guild, Puzzle Man, Healer, Guardian and.. oh, come the *beep* on, does this make ANY sense to you? At all?
The movie is based on made-up story by Shyamalan who told it to his daughter. And it feels like a made-up story, the one you tell to your child, you make up things along the way, contradict yourself a few dozen times, forget what you were talking about and then put in a dragon or monkey or grassy wolf named Goopydagoogooflick to make up for it... yes, it's all nice and parently, but that just isn't cinematic material! Come on, Shymalan, what are you taking us for?
Why don't I give this movie the worst possible grade? Well, it's not ALL that bad. There are some interesting characters here and there. Acting is quite nice. A few jokes work. And some pretty rare suspense scenes are terrific. But all in all it's a major disappointment.
I'm not a Shyamalan fan anymore. I'm kinda embarrassed I ever was. This movie spits on every sentence I said in his defense. Shame on you Shyamalan. Stop making movies like this. Write a cookbook or something, instead.
But now Shyamalan, oh my.. now you've done it.
"Lady in Water" is kind of a fairy tale. I say "kind of" because even fairy tales have some bit of logic and consistency in them and they are usually about stuff you can agree with, like witches, dragons and whatnot. "Lady in Water" doesn't have any logic or consistency, and deals with stuff like watery beings which are not human but actually are, with wolves made out of grass and monkeys made out of branches and let's not forget the all-time crowd pleaser, mr. giant eagle. It makes up rules and situations and drawn-out explanations as to how this things relate to each other. The rules get changed every second minute or so, and some new stuff is added, but it's all OK since A)it is all explained buy an old Korean lady and B)it involves some exotic words like "Tatutik" and.... I dunno, like I'm gonna bother remembering some crappy made up words.
So anyway, there's this apartment complex, see, and a watery nymph or something must get out of the pool to serve as a muse for some writer (Shymalan himself) who will write The Most Important Book In The World, also known as "Cookbook". But some grassy wolves want to kill her. Or not, since there are some rules. But this actual one will, because he's a rogue grassy wolf and he doesn't care about the rules. He's the Dirty Harry amongst grassy wolves. But wait, things are not as simple as they seem. Apparently, this particular nymph is not just A nymph, but a special type of supernymph or something, and being a supernymph gets you nice little perks like being attacked by grassy wolves even when they shouldn't. Luckily there are branch monkey to sort things out, occasionally. These monkeys maybe exist, maybe not, because, you see, no one has ever seen them. Unlike grassy wolves and supernymphs, which pop up all the time and are pretty common stuff I guess.
Following all this? Hey, wake up!! Well then. Moving along. A stuttery janitor helps the muse by searching for the writer. But that's just level 1. For his next task he must find the Guild, Puzzle Man, Healer, Guardian and.. oh, come the *beep* on, does this make ANY sense to you? At all?
The movie is based on made-up story by Shyamalan who told it to his daughter. And it feels like a made-up story, the one you tell to your child, you make up things along the way, contradict yourself a few dozen times, forget what you were talking about and then put in a dragon or monkey or grassy wolf named Goopydagoogooflick to make up for it... yes, it's all nice and parently, but that just isn't cinematic material! Come on, Shymalan, what are you taking us for?
Why don't I give this movie the worst possible grade? Well, it's not ALL that bad. There are some interesting characters here and there. Acting is quite nice. A few jokes work. And some pretty rare suspense scenes are terrific. But all in all it's a major disappointment.
I'm not a Shyamalan fan anymore. I'm kinda embarrassed I ever was. This movie spits on every sentence I said in his defense. Shame on you Shyamalan. Stop making movies like this. Write a cookbook or something, instead.