conspracy-2 Review of Sleepy Hollow

Sleepy Hollow (1999)

The True Story Of The Conception Of Sleepy Hollow

[6/10 · 22 October 2006]

One day, a board of movie studio executives were gathered around a big, big table. One of them burst out: "Guess what! I just signed a deal to make the Sleepy Hollow story into a movie!"

• "Get out!", said the others, "that cool story with the headless knight?"

• "The very same", the first one said, "and guess who will be writing the screenplay? Andrew Kevin Walker!"

• "No way!", the others shouted, "the guy who wrote Se7en and 8MM? That guy is a true master of the dark and the suspenseful! He'll make that story into the true underbelly of sleaze and grit it deserves! WOW!"

• "Wait a second", said one of the others, even though he was as excited as the rest, "won't the story lose the essential storybook feel if a realist like Walker is writing the screenplay?"

• "Never fear!", proclaimed the first, "because to direct this movie, I have none other than... Tim Burton! Complete with Johnny Depp and Danny Elfman, as always!"

• "Fantastic!", screamed one of the others, knocking his chair over backwards in excitement, "That's simply perfect! Burton's off-beat style will complement the story and Walker's gritty take on the story and make this the movie of the year!"

• "The decade!", screamed another.

• "The century!", shrieked a third.

• "Marvellous!", they cried. "Splendid! Wonderful! How did you do it?"

But one of the others, a reedy little man with spectacles, said: "I don't think it will be that good after all."

• "Not that good?", exclaimed the others, furiously, "weren't you listening? Burton! Walker! Depp!"

• "Furthermore", the reedy man carried on, "I think the end result will be disappointingly tame. There will be no sparkle, the actors will look like they don't really care about anything, and the whole thing will feel like a made-for-TV movie with a special effects budget."

• "Ridiculous!", hissed one.

• "Preposterous!!", seethed another.

But the reedy man was absolutely right.