I cannot begin to describe the expectations that gripped me as the Universal logo began to play prior to the beginning of DOA: Dead Or Alive. The best way to describe them would be below rock bottom, if such a place does exist. Video game movies are never more than light entertainment, and even thats a rare instance, the genre usually parking it's self closer to such terms as "awful" and "vomit inducing". In recent years we've had to brave wonderful games being turned into dogged movies, Doom and Resident Evil are surely the two best examples. DOA: Dead or Alive isn't even a particularly good game, vapid and uninteresting would be good words to describe the experience of playing said title, and so it's something of a pleasant surprise that director Corey Yeun has crafted an average actioner, and a better than usual video game adaptation out of the material. In truth the production knows how ridiculous and bad it's premise is, and as a result thw whole affair goes for spectacle leaving the rancid,plot hole buggered story in it's wake. The bikini clad babes are all impossibly good looking and seeing as Yeun is a vetern of the martial arts and action genre he crafts some brilliant fight sequences. The story assembles a group of the best fighters in the world for an event set on a remote Island. The event is DOA, a competition that pits the fighters against each other anywhere on the resort at any time. Tournament ruler Donovon (Eric Roberts) decides the various combats and picks the combatants. The participants are male and female, though the picture puts it focus very much on the women (all of whom are smoking hot) and there various conflicts. Firstly we have master thief Christie (Holly Valance) who is selected after giving a few of the local police an arse whipping (whilst half naked). Valance was the character who was most interesting during the film's runtime, though saying that doesn't mean a whole lot. Next we have Princess Kasumi (Devon Aoki) selected after making a daring escape from her palace who also wishes to find out more about her brothers death at the previous years event. Then there's pro-wrestler Tina (Jaime Pressly) who along with her wrestler father has been shipped to the competition due to her awesome fighting abilities. Then we get Helena (Sarah Carter) the daughter of DOA's recently deceased founder, about to fight in her first ever year. The film does offer a subplot about Kasumi's brother but it's entirely unimportant until the finale. The screenplay for DOA is among the worst I've ever heard. The dialog is as idiotic as anyone could possibly think and to see three full grown men credited with the writing is a little disheartening. If they'd all been ten years younger this would have been easily forgiven, but each representitive is well past the age where this kind of scripting is acceptable. Thank god for Crey Yeun then, who throws in fight and action sequences galore along with endlessly ogling Valance, Carter and Pressly with his camera. Thanks to these ahem.....visual aids the project may be dumb as nuts but it's also wonderfully entertaining in it's own silly way. With Paul W.S Anderson on hand as producer you really ought to know what you're getting from the start. Anderson has done fun stupidity (Alien Vs. Predator, Event Horizon) and god awful stupidity (Resident Evil, Mortal Kombat) but the clue's not the quality rather the fact they're all suffering from total and complete idiocy. Indeed this movie is idiotic, maybe more so than any of the films above but in terms of offering fun and entertainment value DOA levels with any of them. The performances are uber hollow but then what did you expect. No character is given anything close to an arc, possibly with the exception of the blandest member. Devon Aoki doesn't look as pretty as any of her core female co-stars, but nor does she exude any charm or cheesy moments. She looks bored, acts wooden and delivers her lines in a way that is quite frankly dead not alive. She's the person who the filmmakers credit with any sort of real motive yet she's quite frankly the worst name on the cast sheet. The other ladies are equally inept but in a funner and more engaging manner. Valance is actually quite likable (and Yeun quite rightly has her in bikini the most) whilst Pressly goes through the sassy schtick she's mastered from a season or two of My Name is Earl. Sarah Carter is awful but trys to exude some sort of energy, pretty much the difference between her and Aoki. Eric Roberts hasn't a good performance on his CV, and DOA doesn't improve his situation, he's an awful villain but is responsible for plenty of unintentional laughs. The whole film is colourful and nice to look at. At times design seems cheap but overall the shiny look compliments the silly plot. You'll find nothing dark or scary within the production, bar perhaps Eric Roberts atrocious wig. The cheerful style could be down to budget, but then it also lends the film a comic book look, not entirely out of place with it's feel. The action is quick and never far from starting, Yeun wisely papers over various plot holes and other quibbles by simply starting a fight or destroying something. Usually not a commendable method but really what else was the movie going to do. The individual fights aren't among Yeun's best work but there's no point in complaining, they still shoot high above most martial art work in terms of entertainment. Some of the special effects work is questionable, but again thats not really the point is it?
Review of DOA: Dead or Alive
