Where in the hell do I even start to convey how utterly awful and idiotic this so-called "movie" is. I have never in my twenty-eight years on this earth seen a movie as terrible and moronic as this one. Oh if could have rated lower than a one on here. The back of the box sounds decent and the image they used wasn't even close to anything in the movie, hands down false advertising. In fact, the box was the ONLY thing that was fairly decent about this entire thing. I would love to write something positive about this film but I honestly can't.
1. The acting, if you can call it that, could have been done better by retarded spider monkeys. They were lifeless and boring. In a flash back the male lead ran in place to portray jogging. Genius.
2. The set looked like the back of a grocery store or an empty tool supply center. There was light coming in all over the place in this "inescapable tomb". They were surrounded by props from a cheap Halloween outlet and shelving that belongs in a garage. Talking dolls that were painted by preschoolers were scattered here and there. They must have only rented one isle of this joint because it was the same set for nearly the entire movie. The end of the movie was shot at a super small hotel, which actually was a nice change of pace from the dingy storeroom. But they actually wrote the name of the place on the side of the wall, next to the door, in sharpie. Yes, in sharpie marker.
3. The costumes were pieced together from k-mart specials.
4. The plot was a knock off of Saw pretty much. Randomly, there was a guy riding around on a horse with a white plastic china doll mask. This had no relevance to the story what so ever that I can tell. They occasionally would have people fall from nowhere, wrapped in plastic to tell more bits of the rag tag story line. Shortly there after each people would die and the main characters would fall asleep. I don't even need to go into any more detail since there really isn't any!
5. The sound was terrible. The music, which had to be the five-dollar haunted house CD you get at the novelty store, drowned out the dialog. I had to turn on subtitles since I couldn't make anything out. And wow... the dialog. I won't even go there because I'm sure you've heard better in porno's.
6. I have to put in something about the ending. Yes, we managed to contain our puke until the bitter end. After reading all these reviews I think I am probably the only person to have finished. I think I should get some kind of reward for enduring this kind of imbecilic onslaught. For the grand finale the blonde, who is the only survivor, pulls off at the tiny hotel. There the guy I'm assuming was the mastermind behind the Saw-like games meets her. He offers her an exotic car, cash and freedom if she sleeps with him or she can leave and get nothing. So this whole movie was for this tard to get some booty? Are you kidding!? She first chooses for him to leave. Then in what I'm assuming is a dream sequence she is offered the same thing yet again. They have sex or should I say he rabbit humps her but of course after he warns her that he comes quickly. OK, that was just too much even for me, loser! Afterwards she kills him with the bedside lamp. The end. There... now you don't have to see this atrocity.
To sum it all up, I feel less intelligent for having viewed this abomination. If I ever by chance meet the guys who made this I would demand compensation for wasting eighty-one minutes of my life let alone the rental money. If you see this movie in your local video store, immediately grab it from the shelf, wipe your derrière with it, then snap it in two. I would hate to subject another poor soul to this piece of poop.
1. The acting, if you can call it that, could have been done better by retarded spider monkeys. They were lifeless and boring. In a flash back the male lead ran in place to portray jogging. Genius.
2. The set looked like the back of a grocery store or an empty tool supply center. There was light coming in all over the place in this "inescapable tomb". They were surrounded by props from a cheap Halloween outlet and shelving that belongs in a garage. Talking dolls that were painted by preschoolers were scattered here and there. They must have only rented one isle of this joint because it was the same set for nearly the entire movie. The end of the movie was shot at a super small hotel, which actually was a nice change of pace from the dingy storeroom. But they actually wrote the name of the place on the side of the wall, next to the door, in sharpie. Yes, in sharpie marker.
3. The costumes were pieced together from k-mart specials.
4. The plot was a knock off of Saw pretty much. Randomly, there was a guy riding around on a horse with a white plastic china doll mask. This had no relevance to the story what so ever that I can tell. They occasionally would have people fall from nowhere, wrapped in plastic to tell more bits of the rag tag story line. Shortly there after each people would die and the main characters would fall asleep. I don't even need to go into any more detail since there really isn't any!
5. The sound was terrible. The music, which had to be the five-dollar haunted house CD you get at the novelty store, drowned out the dialog. I had to turn on subtitles since I couldn't make anything out. And wow... the dialog. I won't even go there because I'm sure you've heard better in porno's.
6. I have to put in something about the ending. Yes, we managed to contain our puke until the bitter end. After reading all these reviews I think I am probably the only person to have finished. I think I should get some kind of reward for enduring this kind of imbecilic onslaught. For the grand finale the blonde, who is the only survivor, pulls off at the tiny hotel. There the guy I'm assuming was the mastermind behind the Saw-like games meets her. He offers her an exotic car, cash and freedom if she sleeps with him or she can leave and get nothing. So this whole movie was for this tard to get some booty? Are you kidding!? She first chooses for him to leave. Then in what I'm assuming is a dream sequence she is offered the same thing yet again. They have sex or should I say he rabbit humps her but of course after he warns her that he comes quickly. OK, that was just too much even for me, loser! Afterwards she kills him with the bedside lamp. The end. There... now you don't have to see this atrocity.
To sum it all up, I feel less intelligent for having viewed this abomination. If I ever by chance meet the guys who made this I would demand compensation for wasting eighty-one minutes of my life let alone the rental money. If you see this movie in your local video store, immediately grab it from the shelf, wipe your derrière with it, then snap it in two. I would hate to subject another poor soul to this piece of poop.