SEE Bay Boys 2!
EXPERIENCE the plot! Watch it re-hash every cop cliché ever! Watch it dive into the realm of impossibility! Watch as it has little to do with anything aside from explosions! Watch as most of the screen time is devoted to things completely unrelated to it!
WITNESS the performance of Will Smith! Witness his acting range! From his performance as Black Guy Of Some Authority With A Gun in 'Men in Black,' to his performance as Black Guy Of Some Authority With A Gun in 'I, Robot,' and even right up to his performance as Black Guy Of Some Authority With A Gun in 'I Am Legend,' Will Smith is truly an actor of many faces. So watch, in awe, as Will Smith portrays Black Guy Of Some Authority With A Gun in this film! Witness him use authority! Witness him use a gun! Witness his brilliance!
WATCH the drama! Watch as Will Smith and Martin Lawrence harass a teenage boy for no reason! Watch them confirm stereotypes! Watch them fight! And then watch them predictably amend! Watch them shoot guns as they hold them sideways! Watch them go *BLAM! BLAM!* Watch as they blow things up! Watch things go *KLLLBLLLOOOOOOMM!*
EXPERIENCE the avant-garde direction of Michael Bay! See how he forgoes characterization in favor of explosions! Notice his absence of originality! Watch him shoot a two hour film as if it were a music video! Watch him shake the camera as if it were dice! Watch him conduct himself as if he had talent! Observe the glazed-over look of the people around you! See that they have shut off their brain! Watch them gaze! Watch them blink! Watch them show no excitement or surprise or emotion at all! They are a testament to Bay's brilliance! Who other than Bay could make such a mind-numbing, cliché-riddled, unengaging, retarded, and pointless piece of cinema!?
So see Bad Boys 2! See a truly unbelievable piece of art! See it on basic cable on Sunday afternoon, because that's where excellence lives! See in the DVD collections of 14-year-old teenage boys who live in suburban America and yet feel the need to emulate blacks for some reason, for they are truly excellent and eclectic in their taste! See it in the bargain bin at Wal-Mart, because that's where it belongs!
EXPERIENCE the plot! Watch it re-hash every cop cliché ever! Watch it dive into the realm of impossibility! Watch as it has little to do with anything aside from explosions! Watch as most of the screen time is devoted to things completely unrelated to it!
WITNESS the performance of Will Smith! Witness his acting range! From his performance as Black Guy Of Some Authority With A Gun in 'Men in Black,' to his performance as Black Guy Of Some Authority With A Gun in 'I, Robot,' and even right up to his performance as Black Guy Of Some Authority With A Gun in 'I Am Legend,' Will Smith is truly an actor of many faces. So watch, in awe, as Will Smith portrays Black Guy Of Some Authority With A Gun in this film! Witness him use authority! Witness him use a gun! Witness his brilliance!
WATCH the drama! Watch as Will Smith and Martin Lawrence harass a teenage boy for no reason! Watch them confirm stereotypes! Watch them fight! And then watch them predictably amend! Watch them shoot guns as they hold them sideways! Watch them go *BLAM! BLAM!* Watch as they blow things up! Watch things go *KLLLBLLLOOOOOOMM!*
EXPERIENCE the avant-garde direction of Michael Bay! See how he forgoes characterization in favor of explosions! Notice his absence of originality! Watch him shoot a two hour film as if it were a music video! Watch him shake the camera as if it were dice! Watch him conduct himself as if he had talent! Observe the glazed-over look of the people around you! See that they have shut off their brain! Watch them gaze! Watch them blink! Watch them show no excitement or surprise or emotion at all! They are a testament to Bay's brilliance! Who other than Bay could make such a mind-numbing, cliché-riddled, unengaging, retarded, and pointless piece of cinema!?
So see Bad Boys 2! See a truly unbelievable piece of art! See it on basic cable on Sunday afternoon, because that's where excellence lives! See in the DVD collections of 14-year-old teenage boys who live in suburban America and yet feel the need to emulate blacks for some reason, for they are truly excellent and eclectic in their taste! See it in the bargain bin at Wal-Mart, because that's where it belongs!