This infamous Japenese cult flick unfortunately doesn't live up to its lofty reputation. It has some worthy moments, but only a few in what is otherwise a painfully boring and poorly made affair. The confusing story involves a medical student searching for his origins based on the few memories he has from his childhood. He makes his way to the coast of the Japan Sea, where he discovers an obituary for a man who looks exactly like him. He then pretends to be the dead man resurrected, and eventually is brought to an island not far away where the dead man's father is purportedly conducting odd experiments on human beings. The entire story up to here is confusing, uninvolving, and honestly pretty stupid. Only when the protagonist arrives on the island with the titular malformed men does it contain a shred of interest. But only a shred. The mad scientist on the island, kind of the Japanese version of Dr. Moreau, is mutating human beings into freaks. These people, played by circus performers, are dressed in weird costumes and covered with icky makeup. Supposedly the film was meant to reflect the effects of an atomic bomb. I'm not really that sure that was meant, since I don't think any radiation poisoning resulted in a person turning silver. This seems to be where some of the film's fans find substance in the thing, but, really, that half-assed commentary isn't even close to as good as the half-assed commentary in the original Gojira, or, even more appropriate to this conversation, another Ishiro Honda film, Matango: Attack of the Mushroom People, which was made six years earlier than Horrors of Malformed Men. The malformed men are pretty cool, I must admit, but their appearance and participation in the film takes up around ten minutes of this 100 minute film, one tenth, by my estimation. I couldn't forgive the first half of the movie. And even moreso I can't forgive what comes after this, where the mad doctor tells his story in a prolonged, monochromatic flashback. I guess I should be thankful, because the stuff I couldn't understand about the plot earlier in the movie is explicated in such detail that I wanted to rip my hair out. But at least I finally got the plot. And worse, after the doctor has his ten minute flashback, another character has another ten minute flashback. The story is patently ridiculous, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It could have been fun, but it isn't. It's a crushing bore! It does end on a hilarious bit, but nothing could have saved this movie.
Review of Horrors of Malformed Men
