4/10
"If you got nothing nice to say, then don't say nothing."
16 May 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I apologize for the unrelated, grammatically poor Eminem quote, but it does wonders at expressing my feelings towards this film. I won't even bother to write an elaborate review (not that I'd have much material to work from if I wanted to, anyway), so these are just some quick, random thoughts.

When a movie is THIS different from its written counterpart, it becomes obvious that the changes are intentional. However, some things just aren't supposed to be messed with. Don't try to change a winning formula. Don't play God. More importantly, don't play Emily Bronte. This film introduces dramatic changes to Wuthering Heights's storyline, and while originality is a valuable thing and I'm usually one to praise it, I don't feel the same way about altering classics of literature that I happen to be extremely passionate about. This film is not about creativity, as the screenwriter and director probably intended for it to be: it is murder.

Murder of a beautiful, dark, intense masterpiece: Hindley a tortured soul? Joseph a relatively nice servant with normal speech ability? Ellen an annoying girl with a silly crush on Hindley? Hareton and Catherine (daughter) *unexistent*? Edgar nothing more than a cowardly wimp? Heathcliff and Catherine's love consummated? *Heathcliff shot to death*? Some of these things just go way beyond originality and into the domain of stupidity. I could perhaps forgive some changes, were at least the rest of the film -- the part that attempts to be faithful to the novel -- worth anything, but it's just no good. The scene where Catherine tells Ellen about her potential marriage to Edgar and her feelings for Heathcliff is pathetic: where's the night setting, where's the violent summer storm? And what's up with Cathy's speech, anyway? Where are all the gorgeous quotes? Why subvert even *that*?

Murder of Catherine, too, and that I would never find to be forgivable, under any circumstances. Anna Calder-Marshall's Catherine is ridiculous. She's short, unattractive, awkwardly built and possesses what is likely to be the most annoying voice to ever exist: her screaming out "Heathcliff!" is horrible and embarrassing. Cathy is just not in this woman, and vice-versa. I'm not sure how anyone could bear to be responsible for such huge, terrible miscasting: it almost feels like a cruel joke. Her overall performance actually makes me sincerely thankful for Juliette Binoche's (and to think that I used to find *her* Catherine a little blank... she seems heaven sent now).

Timothy Dalton (and a couple of background music pieces, and Ian Ogilvy's hotness) is the only good thing about this film. He makes a fine Heathcliff, despite the wrong eye color, but that's something most movie versions are wrong about, so let's just swallow it and move on. He's attractive in a wild, intense way, and truly genuine.

I really, really recommend that you do NOT see this movie, especially if you're in love with the original novel. I suppose it's not the worst thing you could do, but it's certainly a waste of 104 precious minutes.
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