4/10
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Unnecessary Sequel
2 June 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Don't fall for the hype. I've certainly seen far worse films, but this strictly-for-the-money entry adds little to the Indy franchise and I'd bet it's only been welcomed as much as it has solely because it's a new Indy flick and the fans are so hungry for any new meat that they'll accept just about anything. That said, I did go into it with absolutely zero expectations thanks to my outright loathing of the last installment in the series — 1989's execrable INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE — and as a result of that mindset I may have been more forgiving of the new film's faults than I would have otherwise;the movie is by no means a great film, but it is an acceptable time-waster and I didn't hate it for three primary reasons:

1. Harrison Ford is back in form and he definitely is the Indy we know, love, and root for, world-weary and exhaustedly resigned as ever. Good to have him back, and I like that they acknowledged his age; after the movie I asked a friend who's a doctor for her medical assessment of how many times Indy would have died from injuries sustained during the story, especially when taking his age into account, and she stated at least eight.

2. The return of Marion. Though she wasn't given much to do other than do a little bit of sniping at Indy and smile like a loon while mooning over him, I felt very strongly that she was one of the major factors that made RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK as good as it was and her presence would have elevated the film even if it was INDIANA JONES AND THE DISCOUNT MATTRESS SALE. I'm even willing to bet I wouldn't have hated LAST CRUSADE as much as I did if Karen Allen were in it (I'll be totally honest and admit I've been in love with her since I was thirteen and first saw her as Katey in ANIMAL HOUSE). I totally bought Marion and Indy having broken up and carrying a mutual torch, and it made my heart light to see their obvious affection for one another, an affection that finally gets to express itself again. Even if this is the final Jones flick I'll be satisfied because the hero not only got the girl once and for all, he got the best girl once and for all.

3. Much to my surprise I liked Indy's son, Mutt (played by Shia LeBeuf), quite a lot. He'll never replace Indy, but he is okay and can most definitely hold his own in a fight, with fists or swords. Plus I like that he named himself Mutt while his dad took his moniker from the family dog. Nice touch. And while Shia LeBeuf's other roles have seen him in the kind of parts that make me want to punch his face in like it was an overripe cantaloupe, he's the polar opposite of irritating here, but despite the rumblings of possibly launching a series with him taking over as Indy's successor I think it would be a monumentally bad idea to place the franchise upon Mutt. Part of the audience believing in Jones as strongly as it does hinges upon him being clearly seasoned by years of both practical experience and decades of hardcore study, and Mutt has neither, being barely out of his teens and never having finished school. So if they do give the adventures of Mutt Jones a green light, it would probably be advisable to show him gaining some hard-earned wisdom during the course of his exploits, along with him bagging copious amounts of late-1950's/early-1960's tail as possible. The screen needs more than James Bond hogging up all the chicks, so I say why not turn the son of Indiana Jones loose? His dad found his way into many a tight, secret place, so why not Mutt?

But as for the things I didn't really care for, my quibbles are relatively minor: I'm sick of fifties-style commie bad guys with "moose and squirrel" accents, and I didn't feel the sci-fi angle fit in well with the Jones ethos; while Arthur C. Clarke's assertion that there's no difference between magic and a sufficiently high level of technology may hold, the sci-fi didn't fill me with the same sense of wonder as the Ark or the Sankara stones (I won't even mention the Grail because it looked a wooden egg cup). Indiana Jones' adventures into the fantastic and arcane invariably bring faith, Judeo-Christian and otherwise, into the mix and while the era has shifted into the 1950's, the time when UFO's entered into the American popular consciousness and culture, the alien tech and unknowable mystery thereof didn't hit me in the same way that the power of deities did, but maybe that just because I'm a lifelong mythology/legends geek (always remember, kiddies: one man's religion is another man's mythology). But what the hell do I know? the sci-fi angle may work for you, so bon appetit.

If this is indeed the final adventure of Indiana Jones then so be it, and when all is said and done at least it wasn't as bad as it could have been, although I can honestly say that my movie-going life would have been totally unaffected had I chosen to give it a miss.
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