As I have not read anything by Dostoyevsky (I know, I know, I'm behind the curve on my literature), I can't really make comparisons between his work and this alleged adaptation. With little fear of contradiction, however, I will say that "Crime + Punishment in Suburbia" takes an electric carver to a well-respected novel. Produced during the decline in interest of the fresh-faced teenage slasher ("Scream")/comedy ("Not Another Teen Movie")/drama ('Dawson's Creek') triptych, "Crime" attempts a modern facelift of a classic work, failing every miserable step of the way. Roseanne (Monica Keena) is a popular high-school girl dating a standard-issue jock (Chris Klein doppleganger James DeBello), hounded by a lanky outcast (Vincent Kartheisher), and victim of a cheating stepmother (Ellen Barkin) and an alcoholic, sexually abusive father (Michael Ironside); when Roseanne hatches a plot to murder her father, she is put in a position where she is forced to make an adult decision about her actions. Too bad screenwriter Larry Gross and director Rob Schmidt ("Wrong Turn") gloss up the proceedings with obnoxious music-video flourishes that only reminds us that the vapid dialog and generic characterization is being pitched directly at the ADHD denizens of MTV who would rather "watch the movie" than "read the book." Trotting out ersatz-meaningful monologues on love, fate, and guilt like they're the stuff of revelation, the condescension was enough to curdle my blood (especially when not ONE of the C-List actors present can convey a character that isn't flat as cardboard). "Crime" fails at being ironic, and is even worse at being dramatic--it quickly devolves into a joyless parody whose pseudo-intellectual stuffiness prevents it from even eliciting inappropriate laughter. The "Crime" is the film itself, and the "Punishment" is inflicted on whoever dares watch.
Review of Crime + Punishment in Suburbia
