The Prowler (1981)
6/10
Boring
5 February 2009
Warning: Spoilers
The only thing that gives this film any life is the great bloody effects by Tom Savini. In fact, you could probably find all the death scenes re-edited together on Youtube and save yourself a lamentable 90 minutes of fluff. Filmed mostly at night and laden with the murkiest color even during the daytime shots, The Prowler is about a lover who returns from WWII only to find his girl, Rosemary, has decided she's tired of waiting all this time for him and moves on to another guy(an all too common occurrence during any war). He kills the couple as they are getting into to some light petting on a gazebo.

Flash Forward to 1980. Anyone with half a brain will be able to figure out early who the killer is, especially if you are even remotely decent at doing the math. It's been 35 years since there's been a graduation dance in the town(the last one being in 1945 when Rosemary was murdered) and obviously the killer is going to return and just randomly start hacking. The cast looks like body doubles for characters on Eight Is Enough, and I was seriously expecting to see Adam Rich or Willie Aames under the killer's mask. So, while all the kids are at the graduation dance, the sheriff's gone a-fishin', leaving the deputy in charge of the little Mayberry. In fact, this town seems so small, that after the dance starts, the only people that seem to be inhabiting the place are the main characters, the teens and chaperones, and 3 or 4 other people. So, old Prowler starts lurking, and gives a mighty fine pitch-perfect pitchfork performance to a girl in the shower. It's a highlight of the film, not just to see some nudie time, but because it's a good set of effects thanks to Savini. However, many reviewers have questioned why someone dressed as a soldier would decide to utilize a pitchfork as his weapon of choice. He also has a bayonet, which is a much cooler weapon and dispatches a few pretties by the pool. And lastly, he's packing heat. A sawed-off shotgun is quite an unusual implement for a masked stalker to lug around, and he will eventually wish he left it at home.

I don't expect a police procedural in a slasher movie, regardless of how the production values are--I'm not expecting CSI or whatever. But, when the killings start, the deputy has no clue what he's doing. First, he drives a jeep as his police vehicle. Anyone he ever arrested could easily escape from that vehicle. He has no lights or siren on it, that I recall. And, saddest of all, he has no radio and the town has no dispatcher. No one knows where he is! So he and his girlfriend discover a violated grave with a fresh body in it--not the usual occupant. They leave the body there and instead of calling the other deputies in town who are off-duty(well, one expects the deputy and sheriff don't work 12 hour shifts each and never take a day off...) or even going back to the dance to keep all the guests inside and "deputize" some strapping young lads to help out, the deputy goes it alone. Well, not quite. He does drag his would-be girlfriend around with him, and they burgle Rosemary's father's house--Twice!--without announcing police are coming in the house. The old man should sue(and don't get me started on how wasted Lawrence Tierney was in this film). That part is the biggest waste of the film. We see the couple wandering through the house twice while the Prowler is at large, leaving the rest of the town in danger, especially the people at the dance. At the very least, I would hope that if there were no other deputies to be had, and since the state troopers were 30 minutes away, Deppity Dawg might decide to phone the neighboring towns and ask for help. But, no, that would make sense.

This film is riddled with clichés. The false scares, the musical stabs, etc. Zito missed a great chance for some spooky death-in-the-basement scene when at the dance, an ugly girl and the Anti-Skolnick were weakly making out in the cobwebs and they don't get chopped up. The character of the Prowler is a decent idea, using a bayonet or trench knife is pretty cool, and even the pitchfork is put to good use, but the Prowler's camouflage hood is moronic. He is utterly featureless, and his helmet chin straps dangle near his ears, which is hilarious. If you want to see a good slasher movie from 1981, with Savini's work, watch The Burning instead. At least that film has a few characters you can care about. I can see why The Prowler was unavailable for so long. And it doesn't improve with multiple viewings; you just find more to gripe about.
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