6/10
Just... Not Very Good
9 April 2009
Warning: Spoilers
The problem with "Bickford Schmeckler's Cool Ideas" is that it has no potential. It has good actors, who give good-enough performances, but they are wasted on dialogue and characters that are unrealistic, sparsely funny, and never connecting with the audience.

There is just no reason to tell this story. Bickford Schmeckler loses the notebook he keeps his great ideas in, and he goes on an urgent quest to get it back. He meets new people and, surprise!, has an epiphany not generated from solitary deep-thinking. But the whole time, we know Bickford will get his notebook back, and we know he will learn something, and so we, the audience, learn nothing.

*** The rest of this comment may contain spoilers ***

The little details of this movie (people will orgasm from great ideas?), the supporting characters (some of whom irritatingly disappear with no concluding remarks), their problems (being a kleptomaniac, being gay, having schizophrenia, etc.), their heart-wrenching back-stories (playing D&D...) -- they don't matter because they are supporting something that isn't there. They will admit to some secret they have told no one else, but doing this does not affect the movie in the long run. Bickford will still find his notebook. Bickford will still get his girl and realize that great thoughts don't make for great fun. The frosting doesn't exactly matter if you forgot to add eggs to the batter in the first place.

Bickford is supposed to be an anguished genius, but he never seems to have any truly great thoughts, nor feel any truly great despair. He does not exactly fit any pre-existing archetypes (unlike most of the other characters -- the nymphomaniac, pot-addicted artist; the deep-down egocentric, materialistic musician; the gay frat boy; the easily-swayed role-playing gamer), but still feels 2-D. Bickford Schmeckler supposedly has some cool ideas, but this movie was definitely not one of them. Time and talent were squandered (and oddly advocating of promiscuous sex, but not doing drugs, even if you are schizophrenic because apparently there really are aliens living in your brain?).

But props to John Swihart for an awesome soundtrack. And look out for the song "I Don't Know" by Mushman, Patrick Fugit's (and David Fetzer's) band.

See this movie only if you like the actors enough to get excited whenever they have screen time... even if it's severely wasted screen time.
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