Review of Pearl Harbor

Pearl Harbor (2001)
1/10
I Cheered for the Japs
13 April 2009
The acting, dialogue and plot were so stupid and the historical accuracy so lacking that no one could ever have enjoyed this. You can't even get drunk and like this movie. The love-triangle, betrayed friend, "but we thought you were dead!" stuff is just so trite and mundane that the mind boggles.

When the Japanese planes finally show up, you find yourself hoping that a big, fat bomb lands right in the middle of this triad of mediocre acting and puts a permanent load of shrapnel in Ben Affleck's career. Worst of all is the insulting of the intelligence of anyone who knows even a little bit about what actually happened that day. No nurses died at Pearl Harbor. Sorry. No women in service died that day at all, actually. We all know that women made a good, solid contribution to the war effort, but historical fact cannot be shoved aside for the sake of symbolism. The women who died at Pearl Harbor were all civilians and, embarrassingly, were all likely caused by US antiaircraft shells landing in the civilian areas of the island, according to the National Park Service.

So there you go. This movie, I am afraid, is sub-dreadful. It is much sound and fury and next to no substance. And if you are a teacher, don't even THINK of using this in a history class, or I will find you.

Grade: D-. Things to look for...parachute sex scene, fighter pilots easily retrain to fly bombers...huh?
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