Quickly judging by the brief synopsis and a peek at the picture stills on the back of the DVD cover, "House of Fears" simply looks like just another umpteenth dull new horror slasher with an unoriginal plot, pretty but one-dimensional teen characters and tame and uninspired killing sequences. Well, after watching the whole film, I can safely say that this overall superficial and hastily drawn impression is
completely accurate. Sad but true, "House of Fears" is as dumb and derivative as it looks, and I simply cannot believe that in this day and age – with an horror offer that is already supersaturated – producers are still willing to put money into projects like these. The set-up couldn't be more clichéd and the last time I've seen such a big collection of stereotypical characters was in the early 80's. We have the group of quintessential teens including: the wannabe funny guy who can't score with the chicks, the vainglorious pretty sister, the timid and nerdy sister who's actually a major babe if you have a closer look, the hunky jock who's a romanticist underneath his macho looks, the black guy who hates and criticizes but meanwhile dates the dumb Paris Hilton look-alike character and – of course – the Paris Hilton look-alike character. All together, they decide to walk out of a party in order to sneak into a nearby carnival attraction before its official opening. Now where have I heard that premise before
? Oh, I remember now, in about three dozen other mediocre horror flicks. The attraction, the House of Fears, supposedly is the best thing out there in carny land. It's a ghost house that guarantees to petrify all of its visitors with statues and images of the twelve most commonly spread phobias, like clowns, knives, spiders etc. Personally, I'm afraid of little people so the house won't scare me. Ha! Anyway, one little relic inside the house will turn the teenagers' night into the ordeal of their life, namely an African mini-statue that actually generates people's deepest fears and brings the monsters to life. I see what you're thinking
How bad can a movie possibly be when it features murderous clowns, pale-skinned undertakers and scarecrow monsters? I honestly don't know, but "House is Fears" is boring, unexciting, stupid and 100% suspense-free. There's a scene early in the film, showing a woman shopping for sinister scenery for the House of Fears in Africa and discovering the cursed statue. This scene is completely irrelevant and I suspect the creators just wanted to showboat like "Hey look, we went on a field trip to make this film!" The acting performances are decent, especially from beauties Corri English and Sandra McCoy, but it's hardly their fault that the characters are too bland and annoying to be memorable. Fans of gory killings and macabre imagery will be tremendously disappointed, as "House of Fears" is the type of horror that wouldn't even upset 12-year-old Hannah Montana fans.
Review of House of Fears
