Review of Pandorum

Pandorum (2009)
2/10
A champion in blatant rip-offs per second
17 December 2009
If you watched the first trailer for Pandorum, and only that trailer, you might be fooled into thinking that it's a movie about a crew of a colonization starship going insane under the influence of deep space psychosis. You might also be fooled into thinking that if you chose to watch this movie, you would be in for quite an interesting experience. A scary psychological sci-fi horror/thriller.. yum.

What the trailer fails to show is that, once you decide to shell out money to watch the actual movie, you will be mostly watching said crew run away from monsters that sound like a Predator, move like Silent Hill monsters, climb walls like Aliens, look like predators from Descent only wearing armor from Quake's Stroggs, and altogether participate in the plot straight out of Event Horizon. Even the one single surprise the movie uses as its highlight is straight out stolen from a Futurama episode, although it was more probably stolen from a movie Futurama was spoofing. Rip-offs are so abundant it's not even funny. Not a single scene or plot point is original, it's like a study of how many movies can you steal stuff from and get away with it. And it would perhaps be forgivable if the movie was actually good, however Pandorum succeeds to be significantly worse than any movie it ripped off, making it a complete waste of time and money.

This is a bad, bad movie. It tanked on the box office, and rightfully so. You might enjoy it if you have never seen any SF or Horror flick ever filmed. Also, film connoisseurs could get some mileage by trying to make a list of every movie Pandorum is ripping off. Otherwise, avoid at all costs. Don't say I didn't warn you.
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