5/10
A Different Sort of Clouseau, for Better or Worse
1 March 2010
Warning: Spoilers
The three necessities for a good Pink Panther film are 1) Peter Sellers as Clouseau; 2) Blake Edwards as Director; 3) Henry Mancini as the writer of the music.

"Inspector Clouseau" contains none of these.

The music is the best of the three. Obviously, "Inspector Clouseau" does not have the "Pink Panther Theme" but neither does (arguably) the most satisfying Sellers/Edwards Clouseau collaboration, "A Shot in the Dark." ("A Shot in the Dark" does have a great Mancini score, especially its opening song). The music here is not Mancini, but it is workmanlike enough; and, in the long run, it's satisfactory. It lacks the Mancini magic, but it will do.

The AWOL Sellers is a more serious problem.

I have not seen the Clouseau re-set films with Steve Martin, but "Inspector Clouseau" seems to suggest that the good Inspector is not a James Bond, into whom any suitable actor may be plugged. James Bond was created in books before his movies were made, and so everyone had a chance to have a slightly different view of him.

Clouseau was created on film. Originally, the part was to be played by Peter Ustinov, but he backed out. Peter Sellers was riding a wave of popularity then, and director Edwards hired him for the first "The Pink Panther" (1963). Clouseau was not the star role, but Sellers stole the show and literally landed the role of a career.

Peter Sellers also may have been the best actor at physical slapstick since the Silent days. Just take a glance at the previews for other Clouseau films on the DVD of "Inspector Clouseau" and compare them with a whole movie full of Alan Arkin playing the same character.

Alan Arkin can be an extremely funny actor (see "The In-laws" [1979]). Unfortunately, his movements as Clouseau leave a lot to be desired. Two scenes spring to mind. In the first, Arkin's Clouseau is in the office of Commissioner Braithwaite (Patrick Cargill, one of the best things about this movie). He moves from chair to chair during the conversation, confusing Braithwaite; and the pay-off (which I won't divulge) is good. Sellers' Clouseau, however, would in small increments have left the office devastated. Later, there is a scene in a gentleman's club where Arkin's Clouseau runs around smashing things left and right with a Geiger counter. Sellers' movements were like ballet. He and Edwards would never have been satisfied with just swinging one instrument around and wreaking destruction with it.

(This is not to say Edwards himself could not be guilty of coarse comedy statements, or serious mistakes in judgment. Compare the scenes of Catherine Schell laughing at Clouseau's foolishness in "Return of the Pink Panther" to the much funnier scene in "A Shot in the Dark" when George Sanders stares on blankly on while Sellers' Clouseau demolishes his billiard room. And then Edwards made the misjudgment of trying to continue the series -- with Ted Wass and later with Roberto Benigni -- after Sellers' death.)

Then, near the end of "Inspector Clouseau," Arkin's Clouseau indulges in the unthinkable: self-reflection. He suggests to someone else that he may have been a failure, confessing that nothing ever goes right for him and he might be to blame.

This is impossible for Sellers' Clouseau. One famous reviewer (I can't think of his name) once mentioned how Sellers' Clouseau looks with sad reproach at a doorknob that has just come off in his hand. It is the doorknob that comes off in his hand that is guilty of a faux pas, not Clouseau himself. Sellers' Clouseau is the ultimate egotist. He always thinks he's right, even when he is forced to admit he was wrong.

There is the occasional moment in the "Pink Panther" films where a look comes over the face of Sellers' Clouseau that suggests nothing ever goes right and he can expect nothing better out of life. But Sellers' Clouseau will never admit his own ineptitude is responsible, neither to himself nor (especially) to another.

Arkin was probably a good selection on paper for Sellers' replacement. Unfortunately, in this movie, at least, he lacked Sellers' panache at physical slapstick.

The direction . . . is passable. The story leaves a lot to be desired, and the director should not have been satisfied with it. There are too many gaps where nothing funny is even suggested.

On the plus side of "Inspector Clouseau":

1) For all its flaws, the script does have some ingenious ideas, and even a few honest laughs. Arkin hits his stride as Clouseau starting with the meeting with Weaver on the train to Switzerland, but he falls out again when he sees Barry Foster's character on the street.

2) The cast is A-list. Arkin is a superb actor; it's too bad he comes off as a good actor "playing" Clouseau rather than being Clouseau. He is supported by Frank Finlay, Barry Foster, Patrick Cargill, Beryl Reid, and Tutte Lemkow (as one of the baddies in one of his patented small performances).

Clive Francis, who would in later years become an extremely watchable actor, lets the side down a bit as Clyde Hargreaves. He doesn't seem to be a comfortable fit for this part.

On the whole, it's easy to see why Sellers declined to take part in this movie. Arkin would have made a better choice to be a Clouseau-clone; but with the script problems, this movie might not have been made without the Clouseau imprimatur.

Whether it would have been better with Sellers, or whether this script and movie would have rung the death knell for Clouseau if Sellers had made it, we'll never know. It's just as well Sellers opted out, or he might not have had his triumphant return as Clouseau in "The Return of the Pink Panther."
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