Waterhole #3 (1967)
7/10
A Fitfully Funny But Politically Incorrect Western Comedy
10 June 2010
Warning: Spoilers
James Coburn plays a charming, roguish gambler in prolific television director William Graham's comic oater "Waterhole # 3," a lightweight western about a government gold robbery and the people who pursue the gold after the fact. Actually, nothing about this oater seems offensive, but women will probably abhor it primarily for one scene where the amoral Coburn character has his way with the heroine in a barn against her will. Mind you, the filmmakers acknowledge that what Coburn's hero does constitutes rape, but Lewton Cole doesn't share that sentiment. He contends that nothing but the girl's pride was hurt. This illustrates how times have changed in Hollywood specifically and movies in general. When "Waterhole # 3 was made, the Europeans had appropriated the western genre as their own and lensed hundreds of horse operas in Spain and Italy about amoral sidewinders who were always after a fortune in gold.

"Waterhole # 3" looks like a softened up American version of those Spaghetti westerns. Ironically, Coburn turned down Sergio Leone when Leone asked him to star in "Fistful of Dollars" in 1964. Clint Eastwood rose to fame and fortune in that minor but major European sagebrusher, while Coburn stalled until 1971 when he made "Duck, You Sucker" for Leone. Unfortunately, "Duck, You Sucker" didn't fare well at the American box office. In fact, this western pulled up so lame that United Artists re-released it with the title "Fistful of Dynamite," but not even a title change could alter the lack of fortune for it. Coburn co-stars with rising character actor Carroll O'Connor who had not yet co-starred in the World War II yarn "Kelly's Heroes." Later, O'Connor would star in the controversial but entertaining seminal situation comedy "All in the Family." Alfred Hitchcock's long-time cinematographer Robert Burks, who lensed "North by Northwest" and "To Catch a Thief," presents the rugged west--the Alabama Hills in Lone Pine, California--in all its savage splendor with his widescreen photography that adds a dimension to the antics.

The thoroughly conventional screenplay by one-time scribes Joseph T. Steck and Robert R. Young doesn't do anything terribly different from most westerns. Captain Shipley (James Whitmore of "Oklahoma! ") brings in a shipment of gold and entrusts it to care of Master Sergeant Henry J. Foggers (Claude Akins of "Rio Bravo") and promises to guard it with his life. In reality, Foggers is in cahoots with a quick-draw gambler Doc Quinlen (Roy Jenson of "Breakheart Pass") and a trigger-happy idiot Hib (Timothy Carey of "One-Eyed Jacks") and they have dug a tunnel from a shoemaker's shop to where the Army has the gold stashed. Foggers, Quinlen, and Hib force the shoemaker, Ben (Harry Davis) to pull the job with them. Quinlen takes all the gold, hides it, and scribbles a map to the treasure on a twenty dollar bill. Later, carefree gambler Lewton Cole (James Coburn of "The Great Escape") gets himself in deep trouble with Doc Quinlen after he appropriates money from Quinlen's wallet that Quinlen owes him for all his gambling losses. Predictably, Quinlen isn't amused by Cole's larcenous fingers. He roughs up Cole and Cole suggests that this could serve as a prelude to a duel at sundown. Quinlen has witnesses and he compels Cole to meet him in the street. Quinlen decides that he needs to kill Cole because the gambler has seen his twenty dollar bank note with a map on it.

When Quinlen summons Cole into the street for their showdown, the barkeeper warns him that Quinlen will drop him sure as shooting. Cole walks onto the saloon gallery and Quinlen yells at him to join him in the street. Cole slides his Winchester repeating rifle out of its saddle scabbard and drops Quinlen with one shot. Quinlen struggles to rise and slumps over dead. Before Cole gets far, his horse pulls up lame and he rides into another town where Sheriff 'Honest' John Copperud (Carroll O'Connor of "Lonely Are The Brave") and his deputy Samuel P. Tippen (Bruce Dern of "Marnie") are sitting outside the jail talking about the upcoming sheriff's election. Cole ambles over and enters their office. Before either John or Samuel realize what he has done, Cole has locked them up in their jail cell, forced them to shed their clothes, and is off to steal John's horse. What John does realize is that he is running for reelection and is standing in one of his own jail cells as naked as a bird. At John's ranch, Cole is rustling John's prize horse when a lovely young thing, John's daughter Billee Copperud (Margaret Blye of "The Italian Job"), wanders into the barn. They tangle briefly and—as Billee tells Captain Shipley—Cole forces his affections on her. Once he has John's horse, Cole follows the crude map from one waterhole to the next.

No sooner does Cole have the gold than Sheriff John rides up and gets the drop on him. Cole and Sheriff John become friends after Foggers and company steal the gold from them. Billee rides up and cuts the ropes binding them together. They return to town. Meanwhile, Foggers has plunged into the local bordello and is having himself a wild time. Hib winds up in Fogger's room at the hotel and Cole and John stake out the hotel. Eventually, Foggers tries to shoot his way out of town with the gold, but Cole and John pin him down. Just when they least expect it, Ben steals the gold from them. This nonsense goes back and forth until the Captain Shipley arrests Ben and refuses to believe that Foggers was a deserter and learns that Cole shot down Quinlen in self-defense. Like a Spaghetti western, Cole gets away with the gold. Aside from being politically incorrect, "Waterhole # 3" ranks as an above-average western. "
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