Orphan (2009)
7/10
"Do you want to play?"
26 July 2010
She calls herself Esther. She wears ribbons round her wrists. And she gives the whole concept of adoption a bad name. (No way is this film a sly dig at a certain pop star.) Overshadowed by some ludicrous controversy, and undermined by a cheesy ad campaign – "You'll never guess her secret"? Let's define 'never' in the age of Google, shall we? – the real reveal is how much fun this psycho-thriller actually is.

Like its subject, Orphan's a precocious brat of a movie, boasting smart subtexts and performances that have no right being as good as they are, including a genuinely disquieting turn from Isabelle Fuhrman. Little girls, of course, are absolutely terrifying. That's why Kubrick used not one but two of them in The Shining.

Only trouble is, like all little show-offs, it eventually starts playing up, pratting about, and ultimately outstays its welcome. Enough now. Mummy wants a nap.
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