Review of Salt

Salt (2010)
1/10
Overpoweringly Ridiculous...Simply Dreadful Cinema
24 August 2010
If you willingly go to see this, you are asking--nay, insisting--that your intelligence be insulted. There are absolutely no redeeming qualities to this film aside from its making itself available for mockery with its heavy-handed, unrelenting cheesiness and awful, awful dialogue. I swear, even the scenes in which people are speaking Russian sound stupid.

This is the story of a woman--a skeletally thin woman--who works for the CIA. Yes, it's been done to death. Anyway, she...You know what? I'm not going to even go over the plot. Just imagine "Tomb Raider," except with anachronism-addicted Soviets running around and a 90 pound woman knocking out men the size of Sonny Liston with one limp-wristed blow.

And the plot holes! Does she love the husband or did she just marry him for the cover? If the CIA "can't find back past" a certain point, do they REALLY let you become a higher-up in the organization?! Please, please trust me. This is not fit to be looked upon. Save your eyes. Save your brain! This film WILL make you dumber.

Grade: F. Things to look for: Angelina Jolie's bizarre running style, physics defied left and right, Angelina Jolie in a bizarre disguise that kind of makes her look like Terri Gibbs without the dark glasses.
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