Review of Boot Camp

Boot Camp (2008)
2/10
Great idea, dumbed down to the level of a Clearisil commercial
21 February 2011
Warning: Spoilers
I realize that Tough Love camps are real and that real tragedies occurred in them. Any unregulated institution is pretty much untenable. I was intrigued when I heard about this film, because the dramatic possibilities could have been really interesting.

Instead, all "Boot Camp" gives us is a boy-and-girl in love against the "bad guys" and parents who "just don't understand." The characters are very superficial and all the drama is romanticized. The rest is crib-noted from "Lord of the Flies" and not interesting or suspenseful in the least.

If you DON'T think this movie has been manufactured by a bunch of Hollywood-types to pander to teen focus groups, think about the absolute absurdity of a teenage boy flying to Fiji with a pretend Heroin habit just so he can save his snotty and unappealing girlfriend who even HE doesn't appear to like in the first minutes of the film. How many people had that happen to them? Wait, not all at once. Come on...this isn't screen writing folks, it's fill-in-the-blanks MadLibs. It's the same crap they churn out over and over with a "based on true events" spin to try and originalize it.

Aside from the miserable script, the acting is wretched. Mila Kunis once more pulls her lazy "I'll make a sullen face and say something smart-ass and maybe that will pass for emoting" stunt. Peter Stormare could not be more miscast as the "villainous" camp leader...he seems to have escaped from some grade C Bond film knockoff...I know he has that accent but...it's a bit much in this already stereotypical Nazi-esque role. The Tiger Beat lead boy was so boring that I can't be bothered to look up his name.

I just don't like manipulative films. Any film that inserts the now standard MTV-blast of mind-deadening bubble-gum slop along with the ADD sped-up camera montage to introduce a "moment of revelation" (HERE'S WHERE I SAVE MY GIRLFRIEND!) should be required to self-destruct by now. This was old when it first was popularized and beat into the ground with "Romeo + Juliet." Does any director still do this intentionally?

If this is just a popcorn movie...fine. I have nothing against them. Just don't try to pass them off as some relevant social statement.
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