Most opponents of the death penalty think it is too lenient. It usually is over quicker than a murder, and it often seems the killer does not suffer as much as the victim must have. Plus, most of the U.S. is running out of lethal injection drugs. I'd like to make a modest proposal which will kill these three boo birds with one stone: make convicted murderers, as well as those found guilty of high treason, watch GROUP SEX 16 hours a day for as long as they can be kept alive. Featuring strippers who slap customers' hands if they try to insert bills into their G-strings, the nymphomaniac pictured on the DVD cover turns out to be in the market for a chastity pledge ring. If the motion picture academy members were sent double feature screeners coupling GROUP SEX with BUCKY LARSON: BORN TO BE A STAR, they'd probably vote the latter turkey a dozen Oscars just to wash away the taste of the former. If the Fonz made up to look like death warmed over doesn't put you off your feed, Tom Arnold whipping it out for "tool time" in the back of a ratty van will make you blow chunks. It is doubtful the U.S. would have any remaining problem prisoners on Gitmo if they had all been exposed to 16 daily hours of GROUP SEX from Day One. Ditto for Charles Manson eating at taxpayer expense for decades on end. Though bleeding hearts will brand GROUP SEX as "cruel and unusual punishment," I say it's about time we take off the kid gloves. Watch this movie once, and then imagine being stuck with it forever in a screening room with no exit. How long could you last?
Review of Group Sex
