Review of Windtalkers

Windtalkers (2002)
disgrace to actual serving men and women and war in general
12 February 2012
If you're the type that's stupid, uneducated, or moronic enough to:

1. believe every military ordinance that detonates creates a giant fireball 2. guns have unlimited bullets, and possibly their bullets actually fly into their targets based on mind-control, NOT the actual direction of their barrels (physics be-damned) 3. the bad guys actual all yell and scream and flail their arms and stand in the open as they attack and continue to yell and scream as they fall down and/or will fly through the air when explosions (again, full of flames) in almost a beautiful synchronized way 4. the good guys can take a lot of ammo and keep on functioning perfectly fine 5. Nicholas Cage can act 6... I could go to 100

Then you're just enough of a moron to like this flick and have never actually been in a war or near a war or have any concept of wars in general but just think they're "cool." I've been to war zones, and I've played war games on the PC and XBox far more realistic than this movie. What to make of this movie? It's absurdist dreck, it's awful, and while it's trying to be cheesy patriotic in it's awful whatever the hell it is, in fact it's more a disservice to the fighting men and women in the US forces and really all forces as the reality is war is hell, and it doesn't look like this. If you really believe this is a good movie, and this is what war is about, do yourself a favor and go down to the nearest recruiting office and sign up for whatever branch will take you – though they do turn away based on IQ so if you like this movie... well, you may not get in – ask to be sent to the nearest action if possible, THEN come back here and rate/re-rate this movie 'cause you'll be in for a real eye opener. This movie not only sucks as movies goes, it's a disgrace.

For what it's worth, it is a laugh out loud movie, but of course it's not supposed to be, you'll laugh if you've been in the service OR have a clue about, well, the world and anything related to reality, because it's just that incredibly awful and implausible scene after hilariously bad scene.

And why the hell they tried to title this premise something to do with Native Americans when it's just another trainwreck Nicholas Cage vehicle is beyond me.
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