Review of Rome

Rome (2005–2007)
5/10
Meh. Maybe I'm just spoiled by Game of Thrones
31 May 2012
I only started subscribing to HBO a few years ago, so I never got to see this show when it was live. However, after watching the first season of Game of Thrones more times than I could count, I wanted something new. I had heard great things about this show, and to my delight, I found the Blu Ray set for Season 1 one day for only 25 bucks. I immediately started watching it with my wife, who loves a lot of the same HBO original series as I do (Sex and the City, The Sopranos, True Blood, Game of Thrones, etc). After watching the first few highly unsatisfying episodes, we looked at each other and my wife said "I'm not captivated". I said, "me neither". Meh. What am I missing here? Why did everyone go completely ga-ga over this series? Was it just fresh at the time? Maybe I'm spoiled by Game of Thrones, so when I see an inferior political/war drama, I can recognize it.

I must be totally missing what made this series so popular. One of the biggest problems is that the script and acting are terrible. This is supposed to be an authentic portrayal of ancient Rome, but it is littered with tons of British slang that sticks out like a sore thumb. The show constantly reminds you that you are not watching actual ancient Rome, but a bunch of British actors acting like one-dimensional, uptight jerks. The show feels like a daytime soap opera, and not the brilliant, realistic narrative that I was expecting. This show makes backstabbing, insulting, and betrayal about as boring as it could possibly be. Julius Caesar comes across to me as just another unemotional stuffy British guy, when he should be a guy that oozes charisma in buckets. This show utterly failed to convince me that this was a genius who led grand armies.

Another major problem with this show is that the most significant events often happen off screen. The worst example of this problem is halfway through the first season when Caesar's army is badly outnumbered and surrounded, and it looks like it's curtains for Julius. But then a massive battle happens off screen, and somehow Caesar wins. How he won is never actually explained. Clever tactics? An inspiring speech? Luck? Weather? All that we know is that the suspense, fear, and drama that was built up during the previous hour was all meaningless. This is a pattern repeated throughout this show. How am I supposed to care about what happens on this show when I don't even get to witness the most significant events? To me, that is like taking the great action scene at the end of "The Road Warrior" out of the movie and replacing it with some voice-over saying "the good guys won". Rome also does a poor job of giving you context for the major historical events that it portrays. I think that it might assume that the viewer is already an expert on ancient history, and it is merely filling in the blanks dramatically. I'm not an expert on ancient history, so I don't understand how Julius Caesar and Magnus Pompey got to be such bitter enemies. I almost felt like my Blu-Ray set was missing five crucial episodes of exposition.

Rome also really goes over the top when it comes to the sex. Rome has about as much sex as True Blood, but unlike that show, the sex in Rome isn't comical, and it usually isn't appropriate for the story either. It is more contrived and gratuitous. In one short scene, we see a Roman soldier nailing some lady from behind against a tree, not having seen how they met or how he seduced her. That was another moment where my wife and I kind of looked at each other like we were missing something.

Rome does at least have a couple of decent plot lines. The stories of the soldiers Lucius Vorenus and Titus Pullo are entertaining, and they supply the only (effective) comic relief. Vorenus is an uptight guy who can't do much besides fight. He is a lousy husband and he fails as a businessman. Pullo is more of a happy-go-lucky, crowd pleaser, woman pleaser type. The friendship that they strike up is interesting, as is the story of teenage Octavian, who possesses cynicism and knowledge beyond his years.

I watched ten episodes of the first season, and I don't feel all that strongly compelled to finish it. It has its moments, and I find the subject matter interesting despite its bungled presentation. Still, after hearing so much about how great this series was (from people whose opinions I usually agree with), I was very disappointed. I was hoping for a drama about war, politics, and the harshness of ancient life that featured good storytelling and realistic behaviors. In other words, I wanted something as good as Game of Thrones. I guess I'll stick with that.
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