Review of Airspeed

Airspeed (1999)
1/10
Without a doubt the worst airplane movie ever made.
6 January 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I've been a pilot for over 40 years. I know whereof I speak. I like airplane movies, really I do. This one has more senseless factual errors than AIRPLANE, which was one of the best comedy movies I ever saw. Unfortunately this one is no comedy. I DVRd it this week. I wish I hadn't.

First off, when the plane was 95 minutes from it's intended landing, the co-pilot was talking to the tower. In fact ALL communications were with THE TOWER. 95 minutes on a 727 would be about 750 miles. At best, an aircraft FM transceiver has a range of about 100 miles. At the range they were from touchdown, communications would be with a regional air traffic center, not a TOWER 750 miles away.

The refueling boom is another anomaly. The boom extends from the center rear of a refueling plane. I have laid on my belly in the boom operator's position of a KC-135. The operator doesn't stand behind a "pulpit". The boom has a stub wing on it which flies the boom. There is no way the boom can be moved at a 90° angle from the tail of the refueling plane.

Once the 727 depresurized, the folks on the crippled plane would have frozen to death in a matter of a minute or so at cruising altitude. It's negative 50°F up there. They were not dressed for arctic travel.

How can a "rescue guy" shinny down the boom at an airspeed great enough to keep a 727 in the air? Approach to landing speed in probably about 125 knots (144 MPH). Minimum speed to maintain altitude is probably 200 knots. Then they have the stupidity to take passengers back the same way. Why not leave them on the plane, and send over a fresh pilot to land the thing intact?

Once the kid starts flying the plane, the air traffic controller trains her to fly on instruments. That's a pretty tough first lesson. In fact it's impossible. I've only done it after MANY HOURS of training, starting in a small single engine airplane. "Jam you foot into the brakes" OK, where are the brakes? And why would a controller be the one to talk a plane down? Only a 727 rated pilot would have a prayer of being able to do it, and, on those RARE occasions when it has been dome, it's been done with a chase plane alongside.

OK, it's only a movie, but let's at least try to make it seem believable.
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