It's been a while since I've done these, but I've been meaning to write a review for "Dirty Blondes From Beyond." It's cheesy, but hey, it's supposed to be cheesy.
It begins with Princess Farra (Brandin Rackley, using a vaguely Russian-sounding accent for whatever reason) and her bodyguard Vema (Jazy Berlin) crash landing onto Earth after outrunning the evil empress Krella (Christine Nguyen) and her loyal servant Tharis (Erika Jordan) through the galaxies. Farra wants Krella's help in saving her planet, but Krella just wants a piece of tail. Go figure.
After exiting their ship on Earth, hijinks ensue. They hide out in a cabin in the woods, where the horny Jock (Evan Stone, always good for some comedy) is waiting for them. Meanwhile, 2 Men in Black-like government operatives (Smith and Jones, played by Voodoo and Jenna Presley respectively) are hot on the trail, as is a conspiracy theorist (Eric Masterson) seeking footage to prove that extraterrestrial life exists. Tharis follows Farra and Vema to Earth in order to capture them for Krella, but she too succumbs to the strange creatures with the "third leg," commonly known as men on this planet.
Once the good girls prevail and send Tharis back to space empty-handed (as you know they would), they find that they cannot power up their ship without a "fromitz," a strange object that turns out to be an ordinary vibrator. The look on Vema's face when she powers up the "fromitz" is priceless.
This film had a fair amount of sex scenes, with a few of them being girl/girl. If you like big boobs, Jenna Presley brings the goods nicely here. Such a big chest for such a small girl. "Dirty Blondes From Beyond" is a decent softcore sci-fi flick, but that's about all it is...decent. The story is kind of flimsy, and a vibrator turns out to be the ship's power supply? Now that's hilariously bad. It has its fair share of laughs, including Brandin Rackley's silly accent and Vema proudly proclaiming she's an alien while completely naked. Smith spends the whole movie trying to get into Jones's pants (Spoiler: He succeeds at the very end) while Tharis winds up somewhat relieved that Krella didn't replace her with Farra.
This is an alright flick to pass the time with, though.
Women: A. I enjoyed the female selection in this movie. Brandin Rackley is a softcore treasure; she's got a great body and she can act. Christine Nguyen still looks good. Jazy Berlin was hilarious and sexy. Jenna Presley? Oh my goodness--boobs that don't quit, I tell ya. Erika Jordan was alright too. I couldn't find any truly ugly ones in the bunch.
Sex: B. The sex scenes were solid, but not great. The g/g scenes were alright, the b/g scenes were alright, the 3-way was okay....nothing spectacular here, but it wasn't horrible. A couple of them were actually quite decent, though.
Story: B-. I'm giving this movie a B- because of the funny quips that the characters had, and there were quite a few of them. The story itself was OK for softcore, but it wasn't that great either. This was a case where the story wasn't that good, but the dialogue was cheesy in a good way. So, I'm giving it a nod and pushing into the low B range.
Overall: B. "Dirty Blondes From Beyond" is a decent flick with funny, yet cheesy dialogue and good looking women. It's what you'd look for in a softcore comedy, and it delivers that. There are better comedies in the genre though; in fact, I'd recommend "Baby Dolls Behind Bars," a movie featuring many of the same people that were in this movie. This movie is good as a second or third choice if you've got some skin flicks to choose from on any given night, but it wouldn't be my first choice.
It begins with Princess Farra (Brandin Rackley, using a vaguely Russian-sounding accent for whatever reason) and her bodyguard Vema (Jazy Berlin) crash landing onto Earth after outrunning the evil empress Krella (Christine Nguyen) and her loyal servant Tharis (Erika Jordan) through the galaxies. Farra wants Krella's help in saving her planet, but Krella just wants a piece of tail. Go figure.
After exiting their ship on Earth, hijinks ensue. They hide out in a cabin in the woods, where the horny Jock (Evan Stone, always good for some comedy) is waiting for them. Meanwhile, 2 Men in Black-like government operatives (Smith and Jones, played by Voodoo and Jenna Presley respectively) are hot on the trail, as is a conspiracy theorist (Eric Masterson) seeking footage to prove that extraterrestrial life exists. Tharis follows Farra and Vema to Earth in order to capture them for Krella, but she too succumbs to the strange creatures with the "third leg," commonly known as men on this planet.
Once the good girls prevail and send Tharis back to space empty-handed (as you know they would), they find that they cannot power up their ship without a "fromitz," a strange object that turns out to be an ordinary vibrator. The look on Vema's face when she powers up the "fromitz" is priceless.
This film had a fair amount of sex scenes, with a few of them being girl/girl. If you like big boobs, Jenna Presley brings the goods nicely here. Such a big chest for such a small girl. "Dirty Blondes From Beyond" is a decent softcore sci-fi flick, but that's about all it is...decent. The story is kind of flimsy, and a vibrator turns out to be the ship's power supply? Now that's hilariously bad. It has its fair share of laughs, including Brandin Rackley's silly accent and Vema proudly proclaiming she's an alien while completely naked. Smith spends the whole movie trying to get into Jones's pants (Spoiler: He succeeds at the very end) while Tharis winds up somewhat relieved that Krella didn't replace her with Farra.
This is an alright flick to pass the time with, though.
Women: A. I enjoyed the female selection in this movie. Brandin Rackley is a softcore treasure; she's got a great body and she can act. Christine Nguyen still looks good. Jazy Berlin was hilarious and sexy. Jenna Presley? Oh my goodness--boobs that don't quit, I tell ya. Erika Jordan was alright too. I couldn't find any truly ugly ones in the bunch.
Sex: B. The sex scenes were solid, but not great. The g/g scenes were alright, the b/g scenes were alright, the 3-way was okay....nothing spectacular here, but it wasn't horrible. A couple of them were actually quite decent, though.
Story: B-. I'm giving this movie a B- because of the funny quips that the characters had, and there were quite a few of them. The story itself was OK for softcore, but it wasn't that great either. This was a case where the story wasn't that good, but the dialogue was cheesy in a good way. So, I'm giving it a nod and pushing into the low B range.
Overall: B. "Dirty Blondes From Beyond" is a decent flick with funny, yet cheesy dialogue and good looking women. It's what you'd look for in a softcore comedy, and it delivers that. There are better comedies in the genre though; in fact, I'd recommend "Baby Dolls Behind Bars," a movie featuring many of the same people that were in this movie. This movie is good as a second or third choice if you've got some skin flicks to choose from on any given night, but it wouldn't be my first choice.