3/10
Fee Fi Ho Hum
2 March 2013
Warning: Spoilers
If it weren't for all the graphic violence, albeit mostly off screen and grand number of deaths, I would certainly recommend Jack the Giant Slayer to 9-10 year olds. I think that's the target audience, at least.

It would make my job a lot easier just to list all the faults, such as terrible editing, plot holes big enough for the giants to crawl through, cheap 3-D, so-so acting, bland dialogue and most of all: atrocious and sometimes laugh-out-loud special effects. But, in reality, it wasn't all-around as bad as it could've been.

This is thanks to the efforts of the secondary roles, such as Ewan McGregor's standout performance as Elmont and Ian McShane's King Brahmwell. Even though that last one wasn't great, at least he did decent. Also, every once in a while, the cinematography was good. Not often enough, but enjoyable for what few minutes they showed.

Pretty bland and mostly boring, farmer Jack (Nicolas Hoult) likes adventure, because he tells us and also, naturally, likes Princess Isabelle (Eleanor Tomlinson.) She, too, favors adventure, or so she tells us. Well, they get their wish when they inadvertently become taken up, up and away a magical beanstalk to, what looks like, just more Earth, only higher. Except, of course, giants reside up there, and they ain't nice.

Enter in basic story-telling – again, great for younger-than-preteens, and get ready for a "giant" battle. Not really, but I thought I would throw that pun in there.

As mentioned, the editing and script left a lot to be finished had they released this later in the year. For example, when the "brave" knights scale the beanstalk and see the house the princess might be still in, the scene abruptly changes to the men actually stating she wasn't in there. I guess we're to assume they checked it, which actually might have been a cool scene to see. Much like the beanstalk that should've been in most of the background shots, but despite everyone always being near it, it's rarely shown. Forgotten, almost.

Oh, and I haven't even got to the bad, bad CGI used for the giants and their juvenile behaviors that might please an even younger crowd than the one intended. Anyone above six most likely rolled their eyes, even unintentionally. In addition to rolling my own eyes, I did shake my head more than a few times, while laughing at the movie in other scenes.

Going back to my original point: I really thought this would be great for young kids, but damn, some people die some horrible ways. Again, mostly off-screen, but they told us exactly how they were slaughtered. Pity. Now, I can't recommend this to any age audience.

Please no sequel. That's my final thought.
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